Tuesday, December 29, 2009

i'll like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly.

hehh i passed my undanggg! seriously thank God to the max. its all God's effort, thank you God! i have no idea why everyone's so calm about it, i freaked out as much as how i would freak out for spm, but everyone like undang only ma -.- all you 48, 49, 50 people can go away la. BUT SUPER SMART OKAY. genius to the max!

just came back from jin's place. a few of us were over there just chilling and emoing about how everyone is gonna start college at different places and how we are not suppose to find new best friends and close friends. GOH JIN WAI. LIESAAA. LEE JUN YEN HEARD THAT :( haha super funny.

i just hate that everything's gonna change you know :( and i think this is gonna be a huge change.

hehh, nitey!

Friday, December 11, 2009


i think hans zimmer's are the most beautiful songs i've ever heard my entire life.

through heaven's eyes from prince of egypt is stuck in my head, and its such an awesome song!

haha princess and the frog ribbit ribbit :D was pretty awesome :) we were surrounded by little kids screaming about and hahaha. two 17 year old kids in there lol. EH WE ARE ACTUALLY STILL KIDS OKAY. under 18 whattt :) but yeah it was a great and funny thursday haha.

and okayyyy, im starting to freak out about college plans now etc. because. well because for the past 17 years of my life, i never had to make ONE SINGLE decision. all was planned and awesome and i knew what to expect time after time. so yeah, im pretty afraid now, to be honest. haha i honestly kinda felt lost after spm was over, i know wtf, shoot me. because before that i knew what i had to do was study hard for spm, but now? yeahhhhh :/

but one thing i know is that, i know wherever the future leads me its going to be great, maybe not to the sight of the world, but to the sight of God. its always nice to commit things to God and know that He's going to lead me to a great life ahead, and i never have to worry on whether if i could have found a better higher paying job, or went to a better country to study. sometimes i dont see it like at that instant what He does benefits me but after that i do see it.

like just for an example. i was in matahari last year. and when i first found out i was like, omg type wrongly is it. or haha i think its nat tan, not nat khoo. so i didnt bother until liesa told me eh nat, we're in the same class next year! uhh *stunt* for a few hours. haha uhh okay wtheck?!

i was afraid trust me. come on, those ppl there have IQ of 100000. but at the same time i was excited and to be honest pretty proud of myself. becasue i made my mum proud! and yeahhh. so i was there, it was an eye opener. stressed like nobody's business. because everything i did in matahari was never good enough. you get 80, people get 90. you get 90, people get 100. but i never gotten 80. or 90. hahaha. but hey i made some really great friends even in matahari, and they turned out to be nice and awesome after all!

and then im in teratai this year. well i was majorly disappointed i dropped class. and i kept asking God like, why did He put in matahari for a year, made me felt like im capable of doing anything, and now, degrading me? so yeahh, but i can say that, everything worked out for the better, AND I CAN NEVER ASK FOR MORE. the people i have in my class, the environment, the excitement.

in form four, i was in matahari, made great friends, worked my ass off, and i felt thankful because under all that pressure i know i wouldnt have slacked a single bit. and then in form five, i was in a class with most of my close friends, and i didnt stress that much, and i felt like it was good! okayy im not saying if mataharians will be smarter in the future or teratains will be, but i believe that God knows our hearts and what we are made of and He always put us in a place where we can shine most and bring the best out of us, inside out.

maybe you are a person who works better under pressure, or maybe you work better without pressure. maybe you can mingle around better with your group of friends, or maybe you're not really into having new friends, so what im trying to say is that, everyone's different in their own awesome way, and yeahps, God always has the BESTEST plans you can ever dream of! so no worries!

who are we to judge how great you will be in life next time? or how much money you will be generating. or how big and small your car is. or anything la okay. so it doesnt matter what class are we in right now, or how we decide to grade ourselves as better people than the others or less compared to others, i believe all of us are gonna do great in life, and yessss, HAPPY HAPPY JOYJOY! :D

pls pls stay in touch everyone :(

so yess, all you awesome people whos gonna be doctors ahemm juann and engineers ahemm jin accountant ahemm liesa, juat, physoclogist ahemm melll, and all the other stuff, DO REMEMBER MEEEEEE :D and all the awesome people in arts stream whos gonna be lawyers and businessman, please dont con me :)

time to catch up with important peopleeee! :)
haha its gonna be a great day, cos its friday, right mr szeeee? :)
haha happy fridayy!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


i just set my alarm to wake up at six and wrote down my to-do-list for 9th december and i realised. OMG SPM IS OVER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. YESYESYESYESYEYSYSYSYSYEYSYSYEYSYS!

okay this just totally uhh made me do the -.- look times one million times.
someone's facebook: SPM IS OVER YAY!
some asshole stranger commented: oh great welcome to college torture!


okay i admitted i was like that when pmr was over too, BUT DID I COMMENT ON ANYONE'S FACEBOOK saying hahaha, welcome to form four torture. OMG ANGRY TO THE MAXX!

anywayyy, i finally watched new moon! :D withh annoying jin, liesa, jun, koks, jie, jou and joel. i wasnt all OMG NEW MOON *DROOLS* like liesa ahem. but. i shall just say what i feel about the movie la okaysss. OMG DAMN SAD LAAAA! at the end part. when bella said to jacob what nonsense oh i will always love you, please dont make me choose. its always been edward all along.

liesa, jie, jun, me.


i know all these nonsense of team jacob and team edward is ridiculous, but TEAM JACOB!

what i felt was. bella was totally using jacob as her rebound. and like every fifteen minutes their face super near to each other and they seem like they wanna kiss but thank God they didnt. pheww. if not liesa beside me will totally scream and rip jin's head off hahaha. and come on man, DONT go near him and act all omg jacob you're the best and when edward comes back, I'VE ALWAYS CHOSEN HIM -.- GG!

okayy maybe i dont have much right to judge her, because maybe she was lonely and obviously she needed someone to make her feel better and jacob was there and all. but i felt rally bad for jacob like seriously at the end. not because taylor lautner is hot or what, die liesa sure kill me one, but its just his whole protective character and omggg i want a guy like him toooooo! :)


okayy maybe to most of you, like whatttt -.- one tree hill? isnt that like what my grandparents watches -.- and yeahh of course compared to gossip girls and GA and 90210 or whatever, its wayy more outdated and old. but i think why it sorts of matters to me is because, i practically grew up watching it. and though as naive it may sound, somehow its not very hard to relate to the characters in the show, and i never fail to sometimes feel like, hey im not alone is this or hey omg that is EXACTLY what i feel right now!

so yeahh, im not against any other series, but its just that one tree hill will always be the series that accomponied me in my high school years and yeahh :) got new hot guy in the series though, robert buckley, hothothot! :D the only sad part about the series is that you go all AWWH OMG SO SWEET! and you realise oh great all of them happily together and you're stuck alone watching how wonderful their lives are. great just great.

damn, im exhausted. sleep till next year!
see you tmr nathan scott! :D

doubt not even a earthquake can wake me up.

Friday, December 4, 2009

sometimes i dont understand

i chose the wrong thermos flask. 10 friggin marks. sepuluh.
not including the other mistakes also -.- im against thermos flask now. no thermos flask for my kids next time. NEVER >(

i saved my curse quota for exam periods. yes liesa yes. haha thanks for being there :) you're the best!
me: what the heck isnt it Y? what the f

shut up jin, i dont even curse that much in school -.-

and omgggg. i checked my ns batch yesterday. and noo, its even worst than getting some campsite far away from home. tahniah! anda ialah something something dalam kumpulan satu atau dua.


yeahh all of you who thinks what la why so spoilt brat one get second batch only want to complain like she got sent to war, go away please -.-

initially i was okay one, like hey God maybe you want me to go there and be awesome or something. and okayla fine, if i get like the first batch then maybe i would even consider going. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE GOT LIKE THE FIRST BATCH AND WHAT. im gonna rot there myself in the second batch and die.

upset upset upset.
i slept at ten yesterday and woke up at ten this morning. see how much sorrow i have! :(:(:(

hehe thanks liesa again, you were a superb comforter yesterday (:
and jh(:
and shing (:

stop it liesa. i can see that smirk on your face right now.

ahh screw it la it shouldnt spoil my friday but im really upsettt laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :(
summore i told shing once, ehh i hope we get the same camp! :D

okayy enough about this NS shyte.

oh God work out something great for me please? :)

and after SPM what? chill have fun. and then? what?
dont even know what i wanna do after that. everyones like taylors and sunway and mckl and im like hmm i have NO IDEA!
congrats nat you're the bestt.

hahaha, you know what i shall not be upset. i mean things will work out eventually, and yes, :D :D :D
hahaha just a few conversation i remembered we were having before spm in class and during spm :)
cant really remember the exact thing though, but yes roughly there :)

alex: banyak orang banyak ragam. macam kelas ini, ada yang pendiam, ada yang beremosi, ada yang suka merajuk (glares at jin) hahaha.
karmun: ada yang cantik.
jung: ada yang macam lelaki.
karmun: >(

nonsense jung. give you purple color for insulting my wife!

nat: eh liesaaa, if me and jin gets kidnapped, and you have money to save one person only who would you save?
jin: *rolls eyes*
liesa: omg nat i dont know! i know i know i ask the kidnapper to kidnapp mr too okays! ;D
nat: crazy girl.
huajie: eh lets ask alex.
nat: so how, if your mum and your wife gets kidnapped, who would you save?
alex: haaa. both also important la, but not the same la.
huajie: must save one la.
nat: the correct answer is, i will ask the kidnapper to kidnapp me also!
huajie: but the thing is, the kidnapper dont want him
alex: tak guna.

nat: you know how sometimes people just come into your life and make you feel like, you cant ask for more?
david: sorry nat.

jun: die la nat die. the bio dcpip experiment how.
nat: okay just remember lime is the best. highest concentration. rmb jun rmb jun! and orange stupidest one. damn little only.
jun: hahaha cos orange is. uh fat! thats why it has the least! :D hahaha.

and this is why i would miss high school.

and when this worlds insincere, you'll be save here.

good kids study chemistry. nonsense kids update thier blog.
kill myself.


Friday, November 20, 2009


and then this is it.

this is.


Sunday, November 1, 2009


wahh. my previous post scared the shyte out of me.

i wasnt thinking straight yesterday :/ but everything is coolness now :D

i had a blessed sunday! it was great at church, and spent some awesome quality time. thank youu su and kor juanners :)

happy monday!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

not now

worst weekend of the century.
my neighbour's son is screaming his lungs off and im trying to sleep.

i dont give a single shit about what you think. you dont have the rights to even judge anyone. what was i even thinking -.-

if i could choose a villain i wanna be today, i wanna be bowler hat guy from meet the robinsons.

No! Everyone will tell you to let it go and move on, but dont! Instead, let it fester and boil inside of you! Take these feelings and lock them away. Let them fuel your actions. Let hate be your ally, and you will be capable of wonderful, horrid things. Heed my words Goob, dont let it go.

but i dont wanna be.

i need to cry.

Friday, October 30, 2009

now we are free

please help me to be nice to others.

please help me to be happy for them when others shine like the sun.

please help me to be sincere about it.

now that wasnt so bad :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

heat wave

very hot la today :( felt asleep in class and woke up feeling like someone baked me in the oven. OMG YUCK WEIH SHYTE. cannot imagine myself being baked in the oven omgggg.
luckily it rained. yayy thank you awesome God!

graduating tmr, craziness i know! as much as i hate waking up for school in the morning, i know i'll miss all the awesome times in school, wahh i feel so sad now. i wanna go to neverland and never ever grow up and live happily ever after.

i wanted to post a post with the title will you still love me in the morning cos i read it somewhere LUCKILY I NEVER POST. was talking to liesa randomly about it and she suddenly asked OMG NAT YOU CRAZY AH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS OR NOT. and yess now i understand, go find out yourself -.-

i was talking to karmun about the episode in oth where they all graduated and sighhhhh :) i cant believe im 17! so fast la why why tell me why :(

and yeahh, i just wanna say if i did say anything that hurt anyone or if i said any mean things or did any mean things im so sorry :( sometimes i forget that what i do might hurt someone else and yess, i never meant it in anyway :/ because yeahh, lately i felt like life's too short to be all egoistic and like im always right and no you are wrong go and die la after i watched one episode of grey's anatomy :( and also of all the recent earthquake and all :/ NO LA IM NOT EMOING -.-

anyway just a few names i wanna mention here that grew up with me through out my high school life. okayy i dont wanna mention already after i forget to mention anyone's name here then everyone go all emo and start making voodoo dolls of me and throw eggs on my window :(

i feel like im in one tree hill.

tmr cannot be emo must be happy and awesomeness to the max!

happy friday everyone!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

fixing my eyes

coming clean and being honest makes you feel. free.

well. after much courage, i told my mum about my trials. especially accounts. :/

and what breaks my heart is that, because of what i do, i know it disappoints her. and i know that in the deepest corner of her heart she's afraid and she must be thinking, omg nat, spm is one month away. cannot help but share the same fear.

and yes, if i tell you im not afraid i would tell you a lie as equivalent as nathan scott is not amazingly awesome.

and well. im kinda disppointed but there is no point in grieving (thank you liesa and david cook)

truly this period of my life where hopes are not very high, and i feel like im in wasteland dying to get out of it, really tested my faith and where i truly fix my eyes on.

sometimes i feel like, didnt i work hard already, when people sleeping and going out 24/7 score better, it discourages me. and honestly sometimes i kinda wish i could be like them too. i know study smart right. where have i went wrong?

but, despite of anything now, its just a time to keep moving forward, and know that God's in control and that my future is secured and im going to live the best life ever. call that self comfort if you must, but its truly more than that to me in every single way of my life.

so yes, time to pesevere, and time to turn that 60 add math mark to marks i could only dream of but didnt dare to hope for.

help me fix my eyes onto you Jesus, every single day of my life.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

im not eloquent enough

ever heard of what you never know will never hurt you?

but truth does set us free in the end doesnt it?

anyway, i wasnt sure whether i wanted to post this up, because it was rather personal to me, but i felt a gentle tug (THANK YOU LIQI) in my heart, and hopefully this post will make a difference, if you feel that it will then its great!

Moses said to the Lord, :'O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant, I am slow of speech and manner.''
that would be the main reason why im talking about this.

have you ever felt that you needed to say something but you couldnt express it? its very clear what you want to say, its in your head, but the words just stutters and stammers and goes all hard to pronounce when you need to say it. its not those of like you want to tell someone but you dare not say it, its more of even everyday conversations.

weird huh?

but thats what i have been through for as long as i remembered.

i dont speak very well, and neither do i express something properly at times. i remembered at one time when i was in standard five, my science teacher scolded me and told me to speak properly with those kinda harsh tone that'll probably scar your heart for the rest of your life.

but its not that i dont want to speak fluently or that im afraid, its just somehting that you have to experince for yourself. people have told me that its all about mentailty and how you control your voice and speech, but you will never understand what im going through and how sometimes it fustrates you and brings you down because of this.

but thankfully i do have great friends that knows what im going thru. not all i have to admit.

so my point is back to this, i read this really good book about how God places dreams in our hearts. and i saw that verse.

suddenly i felt maybe im not in that bad of a situation after all.

because if God believed in Moses and He asked Moses to bring His people out of Egypt into the prmouse land, i cannot help but to know theres indeed nothing God can never do for anyone of us,despite our weaknesses and our failures.

if someone asked me to speak in front of the Pharoah, i would probably seriously rather die.

and yet, Aaron (Moses's brother) and Moses together with God, led the Isrealites out of Egypt, which is really really amazing.

my faith was little, but seeing what God can do, and how He has big dreams and plans for us, i have no doubts that He cannot do the same for me as how He did for Moses.

God's been really faithful, I debated and attended MUN conferences, with other relaly great speakers like melanie and yy, and somehow when i need words to flow out, God never fails to help me do it and i speak well.

so if there evern come a point in your life when you feel inadequate or you feel like you're not good enough, really just give out your best.if you feel like you're not as a good leader as the pther person and you got appointed, or you feel like you're not as awesome as the guy we didnt get selected to the math quiz but you got selected, go out there, and shine!

never let your inabilties stop you from what you dream of doing, and i remembered someone telling me once that if you say you're not good enough, you're indirectly insulting God. because God made each one of us, and we're saying that He didnt made us right, or maybe He messed us up thats why we are not as good as the others.

God is super duper awesome and also very clever, and He never makes mistakes.


haha. spm is. wow. in the middle of the day, suddenly i just get this sudden scare from nowhere about spm.

trains my heart to be strong and takes shocks that come about an hour each once. i must focus!

have a great week everyone! :D

Friday, September 25, 2009

i cant be this unsturdy

:( so fast holidays over adi.

just felt like it was the start of holidays not so long ago.

but i guess time does fly when we're having fun huh:/

grandparents going back soon :( but i really had a great week spending awesome time with them. family time is just. important to me :)

sometimes i think that no matter what people say, or how they make you feel like you're a loser for holding on to what you believe on your principals, we ought to really stick to it, and stick hard to it.

tireddd. stupid physics class tmr :/

i didnt even study this whole week. guilty to the max.

help me soar like the eagle Lord.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

sucks to the max

no, literally sucks to the max. run away to africa. dont ask me why is it africa all the time. i wanna go meet alex the lion and make him my best friend.

when emo what do you do! watch meet the robinsons and de-emo.

today is emo (EMO COLOUR) post. because its an emo day. its hols now. and yesyes, i know i did promise myself i gotta catch up and brush up on my subjects which are crappy. like ACCOUNTS GRRRRR. and physics. and chemm. and ADD MATH. and maths. and sejarah. and bk. you know what actually everything la okayy -.-

but im a man with no discipline. man sounds cooler, but actually its awesome person. but its quite stupid if i write awesome person with no discipline -.-

so anyway. my mum is like. natt go study. please dont play already. natt go study. im gonna cryyy. so everytime im about to come in contact with her at home, i'll run away. not run away from home -.- but like avoid. damn mean right i know. BUT I CANNOT TAHAN LAHHHHH. im gonna dieeeeeee. its like hols but not exactly hols. its pretend hols. make you happy abit.

my grandparents are here so yayy! :) had dinner together, until i had to go physics tuition -.- OMG -.- that reminds me tmr need to go school for extra physics class. why? dunno -.-

tsktsk. i dont think i have ever felt guilty enjoying myself. everytime i play restaurant city, i'll feel like. omg la nat, why are you wasting your time, EHH BUT ITS DAMN NICE PLEASE. which reminds me, that game cannot loadddddd. either my connection sucks or im too cool for the game. my restaurant die adi la :/

and i gotta finish one million add math tuition paper -.- not one million, maybe about one thousand. okay fine three. but its mara paper and its hard stuff. and finish physics tuiton work. and start imbanging my accounts.

tell me emo day or not :( i go emo with my dog now. my dog also emo everyday. maybe his girlfriend never come visit him adi.

BUT YOU KNOW WHATTTT! i can do all things through Him who strengthens me! :) philippians 4:13. God's amazing la seriously. help me Lord! help me to organize my time right while having fun and be awesome and cool and be super duper smart. hahaha. i believe God's super duper clever, and He wouldnt mess up timetables and schedules, grant me the wisdom too Lord! :)

im actually quite awesome at the wii and the base in rockband :D hahaha. RIGHT YEW JUANNN! :D

and im gonna visit a close cousin who just gave birth, soon! :) sorry liesaaaaaa about the outing :(

i love ganglions and myelin sheaths. they are my best friends.
guess who said that HAHAHAHAHA. sorry ting-a-ling! lollll.

i just find it really amusing. if i can love bio as much as you do. actaully i like bio too okay, just thast not as much as you only, -.-

have a great week! :)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

dg outing!

:D shing says hiii!

yes we're having our caleb chilling time now :) just spending some quality time together, caleb is the best dg ever! :)

playing mafia now, i was the mafia and i won! hehehe. thank you erik, you're the bomb la seriously. 
and shing kinda decided to be the game master since she got killed the first two times lol. its okay shing, youre the best!
and sorry for killing you. you're still my best friend :)

hahaha. permitting for a permenant residence at the see's. living with a wii and rockband is well. awesome!

reverse reverse physcology -.- haha i have the awesomest buddies ever hahaha.

sleeping over with shing. seriously we can get married. our lawyers earn super alot of money. divorce divorce marry marry. cos so many affairs going around! hmmph.

hahaha, have a great week aight! 

God is super duper awesome with amazing plans meant for us.

Friday, September 18, 2009

love is like that

could never have done it without God! :)

wahh the english passage about the butterfly made me sad :/ i cannot read any stories that are sad or watch any movies that are sad, thats why i rather not watch sad movies in the cinema cos i know i sure cry like shyte, cinemas are for shows like gamer where there is no way i can cry, though it was quite sad abit la okay. if i watch meet the robinsons in the cinema right, cry till the whole cinema collapse.

hehe, i think hans zimmer songs kept me at ease whenever i felt stressed out, and i just thought iof you-tubing it today, because the best songs that he composed for pearl harbour are the ones i like best :)

trust me, you'll like his soundtracks if you are a fan of orchesteral violin and piano kinda music, then its awesomeeee :D
and omg super super sad, because pearl harbour is truly one of the saddest, most touching, and one of the shows i cried most until i have no mood to do anything else :/

and some of the quotes from the movie made me :'(

rafe: you are so beautiful it hurts.
evelyn: it's your nose that hurts.
rafe: i think it's my heart.

rafe:danny, you can't die. you can't die. you know why? 'cause you're gonna be a father. you're gonna be a daddy. i wasn't supposed to tell you. you're gonna be a father.
danny:no, you are. :'( :'(

evelyn: rafe i'm pregnant... ididn't even know until the day you turned up alive... and then all this happened... i haven't told danny... i don't want him to know. all he needs to think about is how to do this mission and get back alive. oh rafe, all i ever wanted was for us to have a home and grow old together, but life never asked me what i wanted. now i'm going to give danny my whole heart... but i don't think i'll ever look at another sunset without thinking of you... i'll love you my whole life.

tsktsk. saddddddd.

okayy fine, pearl harbour isnt exactly about all the stuff in the history book, but i still like it :)

im not ever gonna let any of my friends go war;(

omg its 145, time to sleep, without setting my alarm clock! :D

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

two more!

maths tmrrrr! must convert my degree to radian remember, remember! :)
if i do wrong again right. speechless.

anyway, i've just been looking thru my emails, clearing some of them. super alot if junk.
and, the most awesomestest( yeah thats my term), most encouraging emails comes from both su and yew juan, and tan juan!

no tan juan and yew juan are both not related. hahaha.

amazing, awesome, and genuine.

read also can cry one :/ hahaha.

sighhh, thank you God, although you dont send me emails,you certainly blessed me with amazing friends sending me amazing emails!

Monday, September 14, 2009

small kid

it will just never be the same.

eventually will not come :( :(

uhh no, i didnt break up with anyone liesa, because in the first place, im not with anyone unless YOUUU simply imagine. hahahahahaha. so dont come up to me tmr and say OMG NAT WHICH GUY BULLY YOU! hahaha. okayla kidding, i shall not bully you today.

just today, you cannot read this. hahaha! :D

ON THE OTHER HAND HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIESA OMGOFDJDKJKFJKG YOU'RE SEVENTEEN! :D i cannot believe this man, you are still a small kid to me hehehe. i said what i have to say in the card hahah, thus, i'll just make it short here! :D

i think this is the julung kali (my bm rocks to the max) im crying because someone turns seventeen :/ EH SAD LAHH OKAYY :( i mean happy :D

my love for you is blind. AHH YES LIESA, YESYES. hahahaha.

im the best friend who cant be moved. copyrighted my ass -.-

and and ONE TREE HILLLLLLLL! we grew up with it didnt we, season seven premier! :D meant to be la seriously.

you have no idea how much you mean to be lis, you're a rally great great amazing buddy, and i can never ask for more. *cue to cry*

midsumer's murder MWAHAHAHA.

and happy birthday kimberlyyyyy! :D hehehe, omgggg, please please come for the stayover, we cna hang out and have funnnnnn! :D God bless you one thousand hundred million times! :D and more of course!


Sunday, September 13, 2009


because sometimes doing the right thing takes more than courage and peserverance.

but amazing things happen in the end eh? :)

now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. hebrews 11 verse 1

i cant keep up, i cant back down

i've been losing so much time.

i need you liesaaaaaaaaa. hahaha. stop giving me that look please.

have a great week! :)

Friday, September 11, 2009

they're playing my song

i think this happen to be the most worned out period of my life :( exams everydayyyy :/ and the worst part is that, im not actually studying because i wanna study, but its just to survive the exam :/ which is not the way oviously -.- just cramp in everything :/ and at the end of the day, im not learning anything :( emoooooo. hahahaha. noo im seriosuly emo :( hahahah.

to survive so long is a miracle! for someone who sleeps like a pig everyday, and slack like crap, God certainly grant me strengh to pull this through. if it isnt for Him, i'll probably be balding now. but my hair is kinda thick so its okay. but i dont wanna be bald also la obviously -.-

omg liesaaa! HAHAHAHHAHA. the sight we saw today. stupid girl, seriously simply take sides only hahahaha. i wanna watch midsummer's murder too!

i just saw su and jemmi at dome's in ikano! :) haha was having lunch with my dad. su brings jemmi out every friday because its their date day. OMG LA WHY I DONT HAVE AUNTIES THAT BRING ME OUT ON FRIDAY ALSOOOOOOOOO. merajuk to the max >(

okay partly because all of them dont stay in pj. hahaha. BUT STILLLLLLL :( okay i'll just have to make sure i do bring my nieces and nephews out next time and be the best aunty in the world MWHAHHAAHA. omg cant imgine my sisters getting married. crazy day -.-

and i watched gamer! gerard bulter was okay la. not too bad. ahem ARE YOU KIDDING ME HE ROCKS TO THE MAXXXXXXXXXX! though i didnt quite like the first part because too much shooting. i mean i like shooting and all the KaBoMOmOOomom stuff but there was too much. but i enjoyed the movie because mainly i was damn stressed out harhar.

and i just made the worst mistake of my life. not worst but to emphasize on how bad it is. maths paper today they asked us to caluclate the perimeter of the circle right. and also the area. its two pi radius and pi radius squared for the circumference and the area, but i used the add maths formula AND I FORGOT TO CONVERT IT TO RADIAN OMNHFSJKFHDJKFHDJKHDJKG. SO I GOT THE PERIMETER AS 16904 CM WTHECKKKKKK. keep bleeding i keep keep bleeding. in this case not love but maths -.- i felt like someone just stabbed me into the heart and murdered all my veins. and arteries. :( :( :(

damn emo now :( after lunch the first thing i did was buy a freaking maths model paper book. i used to buy books with the nice cover, YALAR i know dont judge the book by its cover, literally, but that was LAST TIME LAAAAA. the whole time during lunch all i thought about was getting a maths book and FINISH IT. yeah and i got it so im happy yayyyyyy. and i also got my correction tape refill yayyyyy. what a reason to be happy -.-

everyday whenever i study and i see my dog sleeping i'll ask him. bobby, you wanna study chemistry? and he'll just ignore me and sleep again, stupid dog. do it on purpose one seriously. hehh. im just finding every reason to let my anger go off.

my ipod understands me. the other day i forgot what in the world i was emo about and i shuffled the songs in the ipod, and all the emo songs played simultaneousy -.- hahaha. and noo genius wasnt turned on.

spm lahhh shyteeeee. scaredddd. i dont think im prepared at all. HOW TELL ME HOWWWWWWWWWWW. yeah study i know :/

friday is rest day :D and then weekends only panic and stress like shit hahaha.

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this
lifehouse-somewhere in between

damn emo la that song -.-
have a great weekend! :D

Friday, September 4, 2009

in this burning sand

phewww, stressful week! it was holidays the week before this, and yeahh, sleeping clock screwed up. hahah. tireddddd.

accounts today was. omg i dont even know how to start. add math tuition yesterday was a freaking disaster. we were doing paper two questions and i realise that. i suck till the max for add maths. shyteeeee. eff trigo seriosuly. effing proving question.

and i injured my right toe :/ in between my first toe and second toe -.- my skin came off. hurts like shit, and noo im not a spolied kid who complains about all the small cuts and skin coming off, it hurts shyte. how am i gonna go NS tell me. if i complain to my dad, he'll probably just laugh and say, its okay one la.

of course its okay la, not your leg also.

haha i love you dad.

and my mum will go, omg nat, how are you gonna go NS! -.-

my awesome dog that bit my finger. dont judge a dog by his looks. looks damn cute but. in real life. damn ass. only comes to me when he needs food -.-

listening to fall for anything by the script! one of the best bands ever.

come on now add math, we can screw this up like how we did for the past one and the half years.

Monday, August 24, 2009

could never ask for more.

not because theres james lafferty in there.
okay FINE, partly because of that.

but i feel so carefree when i see it! its like theres no worries that can ever drown you or make you feel like a loser. because life's too short to be upset or worried about!

thanks liesa, for the picture, have i told you that you rock the world. seriously. if i havent then, YOU ROCK THE WORLD! :D

so next time when someone says HIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
say HIIIIIIIIIII! back with all your heart! :D

dont say hi only, which is super potong, when someone says HEYYYYYYYYYYY!

i think the only people who says HIIIIIIIIIIII NATTTTTTTTT! :D :D with all their heart when i say HIIIIII! :D :D to them are liesa, yew juan and xian hui.

okayy dont kill me if i missed out your name okayyyyyyyy :/

the others either say HIIIIIII NAT! :D then continued by -.- or omg nat whats wrong with you or they dont EVEN SAY hi, they just go o.O

cos everyday is an awesome day! :D

except for days with accounts exammmm, arghhhh.

hahah have a greak week filled with amazing joy!

Saturday, August 22, 2009


best weather to sleep! :)

my sisters were playing some penguin diner's game the other day and now im so addicted to it though it's nonsensical, yes liesa, you can stop giving me the omg what the heck is wrong with you face. ahem hahahaha.

and and i was pretty happy because FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2974387483738947390 YEARS I BALANCED MY IMBANGAN DUGAAAAAAAAA HARHARHARHARHAR. without anyone's help YAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYA! except for God's of course! and also yy's! :)

next friday is accounts trials AHHHHHH.

but my tuition teacher helped with the documents though, so not really counted :/

liesa reacted to that fact as if i made it into london school of economics or something hahahaha. to qualify for LSE you need to probably imbang 89385493578934085 accounts. and do other hard accounting stuff too.

and i found out that someone's been having affair.


seriously the other night i was downstairs at about 12 something, and i saw my dog at the gate outside but inside the house of course and there was another dog outside the gate and he was looking at her and i dont know, taking to each other? -.-

it cant be really counted as an affair though because he's not married first of all. but awwh so cuteeeee. harharhar.

lets be awesome buddies alright, dearest accounts<333

you've been pretty tough to handle, but, we shall restart and grow together!

it took me all the energy in the world to typed that out -.-

i must focus during the holidays, i must focus during the holidays, i must focus during the holidays.


Friday, August 21, 2009

rest days

i would never ever want anyone to ever feel like an outsider, like he does not belong to the place he's supposed to be.

though i might never get the theory of segregating the so called 'belongers' and the 'not belongers'.

thank you God that you look at us a family. im amazed and touched by Your love because nothing feels better than knowing You want us.

sometimes i really want to be able to love like you do, Lord.

on the other hand, i had one of the best afternoon sleep!

although is it the holidays, but a lot of catching up to do.

i kinda wanted to start playing restaurant city, but that would have to wait a while.

im thankful for this coming holidays actually, im sure everyone is. because i cannot imagine studying physics , sejarah and accounts in three days. MY BRAIN JUICE -.-

have an amazing great weekend!

Sunday, August 16, 2009


somedays we choose to give up, somedays we fight with our lives.

but winners are never quitters, and quitters are never winners.

be a quitter. or be a winner.

maybe we'll look back and say it was nothing years from now.

but fear shall not take us down.

man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.
zig zaglar.

it isnt our battle, but God's.

get up and shine!

mistakes are a fact of life. it is the response to error that counts.
nikki giovanni

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” - Walt Disney.

Sunday, August 9, 2009


sunday morning rain is falling.
bullshyte, today damn hot -.-

anyway, every sunday morning, i seriously cannot get up. and all i wanna do is sleep! and it happened today also, but because i was duty in children's church, i had to be earlier. but i was late anyway -.-

and somehow no matter how tired i am, God certainly gives me lots of patience and strengh and joy! i can entertain 30 kids which i have no idea what their parents feed them in the morning ._.

because, it reminds me of how sometimes the world is just so simple and carefree.

*ethan pulls my shirt*
hello ethan!
somebody call 911.
huh. hahaha. what?
*repeats* somebody call 911.
shorty fire burning on the dancefloor? hahaha.
*laughs and run away*
wait a minute, isnt he just six?!

aunty karen. asher.
okay kids, keep quiet okay, then you can listen to the story! *smiles and does the hand gesture of being quiet*
i know i know! we close our mouths then we throw it away!

asher. jemima. aunty karen.
scenario: doing the jesus calming the sea bible story using the computer.
so what happens after this when the wind blows in the sea? *pause* who know can raise up your hand!
oh the shark appear in the sea then they were all very scared!
NO LA! you think got shark in the computer ah -.-

me. ethan.
i like your transformers watch! so nice!
oh, next time i buy one for you also.

everytime i think about it, it worths more than every single moment of sleep to see them on sundays.

i used to end my diary when i was a little kid with and i sleep happily ever after.

the joy i have in my heart is brighter than sunshine every day! thank you God!

have a great week ahead! :)

Friday, August 7, 2009

tell me why

friday! :)

mr long left today, and although he never taught my class or anything, but he is truly one of the most dedicated teachers i have seen, and i hope he'll lead an awesome life in the future and enjoy every single moment every single day.

why we didnt get him as our chemistry teacher? i shall not question it anymore for it is pointless now and perhaps frustrating at the same time.

so trials is in a weeks time, and i shall not elaborate. all the best to everyone and may all of us do great and awesome!

lifehouse is killing me. hear their songs all so emoooooo.

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here
I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they’d mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

you tell me emo or not ==''

and then liqi will bump in with his always by bon jovi =='' hahaha. liesa, lifehouse rocks right! :D

have a great weekend!

we'll be better like never before.

Friday, July 31, 2009

what it seems we have

july 31st.
besides br's day, it truly reminds me of how time flies when you less notice.

however, instead of hoping and wishing what we could have done with the time we had, we can only now look forward and know the best is yet to come.

ram came back. ram went back. we hope you had fun back here in m'sia. you've grown so tall and i can still recall how you were a head shorter than me back in form three. though you may be pretty far away from m'sia, you'll always be in a part of us and be remembered as our great friend. cant wait to see you next year end.

as for the cinemas, overheard and the taking of pelgam 123 was pretty worth the watch. mainly lots of shooting and conflicts, but i liked it.

hey august, time for us to beat the fear, shine and put our heads up and stand up tall.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

ask and you shall receive

im having the apetite of a pregnant lady. and im sleeping at the rate of how much a baby sleeps.

anyway. its been a sleeping week. i cant remember much except for the sleeping part. heh. *guilty*

i just feel like saying this. thus here i go!

so yes, anyway, never let anyone make you feel like you're never good enough, or you dont deserve what you deserve or you were never meant to be better than them. never think you're second best, and never ever ever let anyone make you feel like a loser in life.

i think sometimes the reason why we dont do well is because we allow those thoughts to be a part of us, and we eventually believe in them. and we think that we can never make it. but you know what, thats not true. you've already lost half the battle if you allow to yourself to think so.

i believe we all have amazing greatness in us, just that sometimes we forget. and yes, thank you God for reminding me!

omg why do i sound so emo. no im not! hahaha. its just one of those deep talk thing :p

haha, have a great sunday! :)

it's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

supposedly a funny quote but i dont know how is it suppose to be funny :/

Saturday, July 11, 2009


i dont care.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

whats the story morning glory

i believe that God will never short change us whenever he blesses us with anything.

anyway today, i wanna thank a few people for making everything awesome for me yesterday :)

you know, now i know what it means by best things in life come for free. i've got an amazing God that loves and cares for me and the world so much, really awesome friends beyond words, a loving family, and i can never ask for more. i believe that great friends are there to care for you, guide you, help you out, and still love you after they find out everything about you.

thus, thanks so much liesa, ashraf, jun, jou ee, sue ann, tan juan ( i love the cookies!), ee lyn, chia poh, weng si, each one of you is amazingly damn freaking awesome cos all your cards and presents are really really nice :) most importantly its from the heart :)



and also to jinny wai, zhiling, ching feng, su, yew juan, yy, rach, karmun wifey, shing wifey, wai mun, winston, boon lee, john ling, luke chan, mei yi, dennis, qian heng, mun sin, jian hao, tze lim, joel, sze yun, grandma, uncle richard, wendy, yee wen, xianhui, seba, mel long, koks, ming zhi, ming jia, zhijian, juat, i hope i didnt miss out anyone :/ BUT THANKS FOR YOUR AMAZING TEXTS! :D

when i came back from school, i saw money on the table and im like wahh money fall from the sky! :D but then i noticed a small note from my dad, saying. nat, happy birthday. from daddy. AND I WAS SO TOUCHED BECAUSE OF THE NOTE! :)

its not about the money at all, no i dont mean it as in i dont care about the money like a spoiled brat, even if my dad gave me 10 cents i'll still be super touch, because of the note! my dad isnt the person that goes, AWHWH NAT, i love you kind. he shows his love in ways that i cannot see. but i can feel it :)

and my grandparents gave me red packet too :) but it was what was written on the packet that made me wanna cry till i die. thank you grandma and grandpa, i love you both so much, and sometimes i wonder if i deserve such great grandparents. and my mum who brought us out to dinner yesterday! thank you mummy :)

i feel like celebrating my birthday at an old fokes home. and bring everyone there to celebrate with them! :D cos i dont think they get to celebrate much often and everyone can bring presents for them! :D

yes, so tmr is malam bakat! :) been practicing mj's dance like crazy now, but i still suck :/ thanks jou, jun, shing, puishan, yy and koks for REALLY REALLY HELPING ME. and for jou dearest for never once stop believeing in me though it seems like i can just drop off the stage because i seriously suck, noo trust me. im not a very dancy person, heh, so yeah. thanks jou, i really appreciate you helping and encouraging me so much although it seems like all hope is gone and i can just go die. i think without you i can probably dance so badly that mj will probably come out from his grave because im making such terrible dance moves -.- and thanks KARMUN dearest, i appreciate what you said to me earlier :)

and JUNNNN AND JOUUUU! YOU'RE GONNA ROCK LIKE SHIT TMR! maybe not shit, BUT YOU'RE BOTH GONNA FREAKING ROCK TMR! im gonna scream my lungs out if i have to cos you're both MY AWESOME FRIENDS AND I DONT CARE HOW MANY PEOPLE'S GONNA LOOK AT ME AND ROLL THIER EYES. stupid shyte la all of them.

im damn stress. let me complain abit pls? :/


and and, i dont get the freaking menstruation cycle shyte in bio -.- I MEAN PERIOD, MA PERIOD LA. wtheck got all those endotrium and oestrogen progesterone like whatttt. and ADD MATH, AHHHHHHHHH. i dont understand permutations and combinations =='' and probabilty distribution. I CANT EVEN PROVE THE BASIC IDENTITY IN TRIGO. oh wait, I DONT EVEN KNOW THE FORMULA! and TONIGHT GOT ADD MATH TEST IN TUITION SUMMORE I WANNA CRY BECAUSE I LEFT MY ADD MATH TEXT BOOK IN SCHOOL AND NOW I CANNOT STUDY =='' but its not like if i have i will study also ==''

and my BK! I CANT REMEMEBR PAUL'S SECOND MISSIONARY AND THERE IS THE FIRST MISSIONARY AND THIRD MISSIONARY AND THE JOURNEY TO ROME :( AND PHYSICS! I DONT GET LOGIC GATES WTHECKKKKKKKK. i did my tuition homework and im like, huh whats this? and huh whats this also? =='' chemistry is still quite okay BUT STILL!

sorry i have no intention at all for scaring anyone about their studies. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE GONNA ROCK IN SPM AND WE'RE GONNA HELP EACH OTHER OUT BECAUSE GOD GAVE US GOOD BRAINS AND KIND HEARTS. yess we shall not worry! :D i shall teach anyone after im good at that topic if they need it :D but take long time la obviously.

okayy sorry i complained too much. but yeah its just that im streesed out cos i know i need to study hard. i mean STUDY SMART =='' no point studying hard because you get damn freaking tired and you dont get the results you want when everyone of your friends are just damn selamba and they probably enjoy and sleep more than you and still get higher grades than youu. sorry i take that back :/

i feel like what nathan in OTH is going through right now, when he didnt get into the NBA although he worked so hard for it. and you know you deserved it, but you just dont understand why you didt get it. and obviously he got it in the end, and eventhough, he's not my best friend or whatsoever, i cried my eyeballs out because i was so freaking touched that he got it and i was so happy for him! so yes, believe that dreams come true, becasue they do. BECAUSE ITS IN A MOVIE LA OBVIOUSLY HAPPY ENDING RIGHT! eesh. but in real life they do come true too, i hope :)

okay tired people crap alot. i shall stop :/

and i shall end with a really comforting verse in matthew for the tired and weary :)

come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. take my yoke upon and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you wlll find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
matthew 11:28-30
thank you God, you're awesome and amazingly amazing because i know that you care about what im going thru, and in tough times i know you'll lift me up. i love you! :)


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

when all thats left is you

im so dead tired. oh gawd. rehearsal was exhausting. seriously.

lately, i feel like. im not moving forward. like. im just stuck. as in im not doing anything productive in my life. it feels like im stunted. but not stunted in growth. stunted in life. actually, im kinda stunted already according to my dad. which is no true >(

this sucks.

on the other hand, HAPPY SECOND ANNIVESARY SU AND YEW JUAN! :D i wanted to text yesterday night, but i felt asleep =='' but nahh. i remember su always says whichever guy i date in the future has to go through both of them for approval. and for classes to be like yew juan. hahaha. yesyes, i will! :)

hahaha. anyway, both of them are very significant figures in my life. they happen to be my dg leader/good close friends/a younger version of my parents/ and any awesome thing you can think of. and i cant believe it, its been two years since 07 when both of you got married!

thank you for being there through out everything, especially in times when things get tough and tiring and when things get easy and awesome. thank you for sharing the moments in my life. i'll thank both of you when i graduate from some awesome uni and both of you are gonna get the front seats beside my parents and sisters and grandparents.

thank you for shaping me up till today and God has blessed me tremondously by putting you both in my life.

what do i get for being the first ? :D

i love you both! and happy moving in! :D lovelove<33

Thursday, July 2, 2009

they come true

i finished one tree hill<33333 season six part two, thank you liesa! <333 :D omg you have no idea how much i cried yesterday, as if someone just passed away, my eyes were so sore because it was so so SAD and touching and sad and darn TOUCHING! :(

i never cried so much watching oth, because mostly, i dont know why, because its not sad lah! and omg, this season's is just. darn sweet and yess i know im totally overdoing it but, i can relate to the characters so well. and and. omg. must watch!

damn it, im a huge fan of nathan, but lucas is kinda hot now. hehh. but nathan is still the awesomest okayokay.

and im chosen for NS. arrr. i dont know what to say.

and i watched a movie,obssesed in the cinemas with my sisters and mum the other day. i dont think i've seen any movies with beyonce acting in it, so yeah. its quite okay. but ali larter was crazy in the movie. she's some crazy freaky woman.

and i had this ultra weird convo with my dad. like just a minute ago.

dad. me.
so. hows your studies?
hows everything? your studies. all those.
huh. okay la i guess.
yeah, study hard. focus more on what you wanna do now.
uhm. okay.
but make sure you study the rest of the subjects you dont like also. dont focus on the ones you like only.
uh huh. okay.
make sure you specialise. and do alot of your workbooks and revise thru everything.
okay. yeahps thanks.
off to work now. study hard.
sure. byee.

was that my dad?!

that is the freakiest conversation i have.
because. my dad rarely talks about this kinda stuff probably cos he doesnt want to pressure me and wtheck, now im damn freaking worried. and being worried is the worst feeling anyone can feel. damn it.

and i discovered a major problem.
mr long: you see, the problem you're facing now is you're memorizing the answers, you must understand it.

i have no idea why, but when he said it, for the first time after 9828465 people told me that i have to undertsand to do well, it sinked so deep in into my freaking heart.

not freaking heart, just heart.

i found my pokemon cards! :) hahaha. my dad found it actually.
gotta catch em all, gotta catch em all, POKEMON. eh its damn cute please.

now will everyone stop scaring me already :(

dear God, i shall commit all my worries into your amazing Hands, and i shall know that is everything is going to be great.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

whatever it takes

omg sunday :/

OMGOMG. i just heard on the radio that they're having this thing at philharmonic place where they're gona play all those mozart songs and all those piano songs. i wanna GOOOOOO! :/ and no, its not because i wanna become smart by listening to all those music, but if it helps why not, BUT I WANNA GO! :/

i just love all those kind of music. but it'll probably cost like one million bucks. not one million maybe a few hundred. and my parents sure think i've gone crazy because they always think i listen to songs by britney spears and kiss me thru the phone WTHECKKK and songs that makes no sense. i mean i love songs that make no sense for example dont trust me, butbut piano instrumental songs are nice too!


means monday is near and all the nonsense starts again. school. tuition. homework. study. sleep. school. tuition. homework. sleep.


okay number one:

set your alarm half an hour earlier before the actual time you need to get up. like now i need to wake up at six thirty cos my sister has to be in school by 7:10 wtheck, stupid prefectory rule, make people wake up early even though my house is super near to the school =='' and when you hear you alarm ring, you feel GREAT! cos you know you've got half an hour to sleep more. i love it!

number two:

dont complain so much like me. there are people who need to wake up at five thirty holy mama. thats insane! or appreciate it, like knowing that you've got a chance to receive education and there are so many unfortunate kids that dont even have the chance to go school. omg that is so hard :/ even for me honestly. can die. but we shall try! :)

number three:

sleep early. you know what, i realised that brilliant people sleep freaking early. tan juan sleeps at ten thirty. latest eleven. gg. boon lee sleeps at ten thirty. tze lim sleeps at eleven. I DONT SLEEP AT THOSE TIME. super early. BUT. im not saying that people who sleep late are not smart. john sleeps at twelve. liesa sleeps at what, two?! jun yen sleeps at one! weng si sleeps damn late also cos of youtube right hahaha. zhiling im not sure. but she's SMART! and a darn good friend :) but its not that i dont wanna sleep early, its cos, PEOPLE WHO ARE SMART SLEEP EARLY COS THEY DONT HAVE TO FREAKING STUDY SO MUCH AND I NEED THE TIME OF THEM SLEEPNG TO STUDY! -.- and people who are smart and sleep late are just insane because they can freaking juggle between sleeping late and being smart!

and everyone is smart. im serious. being smart is not based on your academics only la please. and im not saying this just because im not good in my academics and i wanna please myself wtheck. im blessed to have good brains. and so should you!

number four:

shower in the morning. if you have time. makes you feel awesome! :)

number five:

dont wake up saying shyte la monday. just think of it like. COOL! MONDAY IS AWESOMENESS! lets see what God has install for me today! :)

okayy sorry, but whatever im writing i dont even practice it myself. it sounds nonsensical but, i shall try tmr! :D omg tmr got extra physics class and dance and tuition :/

have a GREAT MONDAY EVERYONE! :D have an amazing week! :D :D :D

p/s: happy birthday tze lim, although im a little late, but i hope you had fun (: thanks for everything.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


i think im just disappointed.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

the way

i was actually okayy. until my tuition teacher kept saying again and again and again how much time we have left till trials and how much we have to start bucking up. but i dont think im gonna stress now. maybe later. 20 weeks of stress is just crazy.

fridays make me happy all the time. but when fridays come, it just hits me that, four days just passed!

have you ever had to make decisions that sometimes are hard to make? its simple actually but we always tend to complicate it. maybe because making decisions for me is one of the toughest things to do. i have an absolute fear of making the wrong choices. you know that you want it. but at the same time you're not sure if you really want it. and people just keep telling and encourage you to not do it. and you might want to listen to them because again, you're not sure if thats what you want. but you know that somehow when you look back one day, you might regret listening to them.

do we always go with the logic decisions? the ones that make us feel safe. the one that guarantees its going to be okay. or do we listen to our hearts sometimes.

the decisions that you make will shape everything else.

it seems like at the end of the day, you just gotta make that mistake to get it right.

:) nopeee im not emo! :) just tired.

i dont like being sad. it makes you feel so. weak. being happy is much much easier. but i dont think that being sad is a crime or a sin. for me, i think acknowledging that im sad is a brave thing to do. because im anti-sad. being sad for a good reason is okayy.

you know what they always say. when things get tough it is when you must never give up.
i was talking to huajie about it. seems so easy isnt it.

but its tough to stay tough when things are getting tough.

im happy! :) have a great week everyone :)