Saturday, October 31, 2009

not now

worst weekend of the century.
my neighbour's son is screaming his lungs off and im trying to sleep.

i dont give a single shit about what you think. you dont have the rights to even judge anyone. what was i even thinking -.-

if i could choose a villain i wanna be today, i wanna be bowler hat guy from meet the robinsons.

No! Everyone will tell you to let it go and move on, but dont! Instead, let it fester and boil inside of you! Take these feelings and lock them away. Let them fuel your actions. Let hate be your ally, and you will be capable of wonderful, horrid things. Heed my words Goob, dont let it go.

but i dont wanna be.

i need to cry.

Friday, October 30, 2009

now we are free

please help me to be nice to others.

please help me to be happy for them when others shine like the sun.

please help me to be sincere about it.

now that wasnt so bad :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

heat wave

very hot la today :( felt asleep in class and woke up feeling like someone baked me in the oven. OMG YUCK WEIH SHYTE. cannot imagine myself being baked in the oven omgggg.
luckily it rained. yayy thank you awesome God!

graduating tmr, craziness i know! as much as i hate waking up for school in the morning, i know i'll miss all the awesome times in school, wahh i feel so sad now. i wanna go to neverland and never ever grow up and live happily ever after.

i wanted to post a post with the title will you still love me in the morning cos i read it somewhere LUCKILY I NEVER POST. was talking to liesa randomly about it and she suddenly asked OMG NAT YOU CRAZY AH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS OR NOT. and yess now i understand, go find out yourself -.-

i was talking to karmun about the episode in oth where they all graduated and sighhhhh :) i cant believe im 17! so fast la why why tell me why :(

and yeahh, i just wanna say if i did say anything that hurt anyone or if i said any mean things or did any mean things im so sorry :( sometimes i forget that what i do might hurt someone else and yess, i never meant it in anyway :/ because yeahh, lately i felt like life's too short to be all egoistic and like im always right and no you are wrong go and die la after i watched one episode of grey's anatomy :( and also of all the recent earthquake and all :/ NO LA IM NOT EMOING -.-

anyway just a few names i wanna mention here that grew up with me through out my high school life. okayy i dont wanna mention already after i forget to mention anyone's name here then everyone go all emo and start making voodoo dolls of me and throw eggs on my window :(

i feel like im in one tree hill.

tmr cannot be emo must be happy and awesomeness to the max!

happy friday everyone!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

fixing my eyes

coming clean and being honest makes you feel. free.

well. after much courage, i told my mum about my trials. especially accounts. :/

and what breaks my heart is that, because of what i do, i know it disappoints her. and i know that in the deepest corner of her heart she's afraid and she must be thinking, omg nat, spm is one month away. cannot help but share the same fear.

and yes, if i tell you im not afraid i would tell you a lie as equivalent as nathan scott is not amazingly awesome.

and well. im kinda disppointed but there is no point in grieving (thank you liesa and david cook)

truly this period of my life where hopes are not very high, and i feel like im in wasteland dying to get out of it, really tested my faith and where i truly fix my eyes on.

sometimes i feel like, didnt i work hard already, when people sleeping and going out 24/7 score better, it discourages me. and honestly sometimes i kinda wish i could be like them too. i know study smart right. where have i went wrong?

but, despite of anything now, its just a time to keep moving forward, and know that God's in control and that my future is secured and im going to live the best life ever. call that self comfort if you must, but its truly more than that to me in every single way of my life.

so yes, time to pesevere, and time to turn that 60 add math mark to marks i could only dream of but didnt dare to hope for.

help me fix my eyes onto you Jesus, every single day of my life.