awesomeness

hahaha. hello! i am so supposed to be in bed right now. but i just washed my hair an hour ago and its still not dried. omgg. damn thick. i wanna chop it off.


and i hate my current shampoo. i wanna change brand de. and change my shower foam alsoo. yerrr. i hate the smell. jelak adi.

had so much fun yesterday and today! by today i still mean saturday. although its till one but who cares. i say saturday means saturday.

yesterday night. which was friday in my time zone. haha attended a talk about Campus Ministry at shian loong's house. su texted me in the afternoon and i thought since i am not going to meluangkan masa secara berfaedah might as well go for it! :D and it sounds pretty interesting too.

so, su came and pick me up at 8 plus. at nighttt. and we were a litlte late but we missed nothing. yay! and we listened thru la. it was good because it rlly opened my eyes to see that when you go campuses and all those stuff. you are like in a different world.

freedom and alot of things changes. you're gonna meet like hotter and smarter guys. hahaha. okayy skip that. its gonna be a rlly different group of people. and you gotta really make your stand for God. things are gonna change and you gotta always ask God to rlly guide you and let your life be a bleesing and difference to many others thru Him.

so yess it was good la i felt. and then yew juan came over to join also after his company's dinner thing. it was raining rlly heavily when it ended. ended around ten fourty five. su was gonna send me back when i asked her about the charity work that was gonna be held on sat morning. so, su came out with this sudden awesome idea that lets have a sleepover! yay! awesomeness!

i love it when you get to have fun without expecting it. haha. like if its a pre-planned sleepover im sure i'll be less excited then sudden sleepovers. though it can be a rush to get your stuff ask your parents and blah blah.



so went back home. ask mum. green light. got my clothes. pack my stuff. went to su's place. get her stuff haha. then went to yew juan's place. finished some OKU stuff. and off to bed. his bedroom is three times the size of my bed room. okay. four times. lolll.


KRING KRING! ALARM CLOCK.

i didnt even hear it la.
okayy i was actually woken up by some construction place noise. showered! ahh nicee. krys came over. macdonalds for breakfast. krys ordered like mcflurry, took less than five 7 scoops i think and didnt want it anymore. hahaha.

it was an event called Dialogue with OKU. where disabled people comes to MPSJ and they actually get to ask questions and have a dialogue session with the people in charge la. i was taking care of the kids. they were rlly cute but like super hyper active also. aiyoo. super alot of energy. hahaha.

su and yew juan did the laptop stuff and took in all the notes and everything. krystina did the registration. loll she's damn funnyyy. hahaha. and i did the kids la. though i was half way dying de.


went back to yew juan's place. BAK KUT TEHHH. omggg. NICEEEEEEEEEEE.


rushed back to church. set up stuff for old testament. rlly interesting! joshua is still like the hot stuff mann. lol.

hahaha. came back home. then went out for dinner ._.

and bought groceries in tesco. and its supposed to be christmas theme right now? guess whats their theme?

BACK TO SCHOOL!

OMGGG. ==''''''''''''' its not even december yet. i can dieee. its school holidays chicken backsides!

and the kids there summor so happy. choose new bag. new shoes.

they havent seen the evil truth. haha. kidding ;D

came home. wash my hair. cannot tahan laa. bathe. and then is when i decided to change my shampoo and shower foam brand. maybe conditioner also change. see how laaa.

hmm. and thanks su. really appreciate what you said in the car. you're awesome! :) and i might consider being a stock share guy thing yew juan :) or stock share woman lolll. but my maths is like. crappp. hahaha. i'll see how. looks cool. the best part. you get good pay. fixed work time. awesome boss. and amazing computer. hire me hire me! :D

okayyy. im supposed to get my fat ass to bed now. its 2 am and i have church tmrrr. confirm wake up late. need to set 20 alarm clocks.

get to see ethan tmrr! :) he's so cutee! he's only five or six. i think. naughty but extremely cute.

okay okay bye bye.

party of the geniuses?

happy belated birthday alwin! :D
hahaha too tired to blog yesterday. got lectured by my mum. bout the results. but all is fine now :)
soo yess as i was saying. imagine partying with the smartest people in your form. its an honour for the rest of your life. noo seriously.

hahaha. nat. and zhiling!

the girls :)

boon lee and zhiling.

seong hock. alwin. zhiling.

alwin. and zhiling. lolll. you're like in every picture ;D

see i told you! zhiling again. loll. lova ya womann. and yong kuang. dont know whats he doing ==''

birthday boyyy.

card tricks. not impressed. =='' hahaha. okayy fine i am. but im not gonna admit it. coss. they wont show how they do it! okayy fine. its called magic for a reason rightt.

lol. yong kuang the not expert. hahaha.

anyway. its a entirely different party that i've ever attended to.

while playing cho tai ti.

nat: eh quick la just put down any card. damn slow la youu.

alwin: skip.

sheng yang: skippp.

seong hock : waittt.

nat: oiii. faster la.

seong hock: wait laaaa. i need to interpret the cards.

omggg. speechless.

boon lee: eh natt. come lets play la

nat: ohh okayy! how?

boon lee: okayy you must put up your hands if your no is a multiple of seven or ten.

hahaha. anyway hope you had a great one alwin! :D yahh i used to hate you like crapppp in form three. and now? you are one of the awesomest friends i have.

im really glad to be apart of your special day :) now now. dont cry.

i shall end with a dialogue.

nat: eh alwin. tell my mum how to come to your house.

alwin: oh sure. hello aunty! my house is just opposite limkokwing. you see a field right? just go around the parameter of the field.

i dont know what to say. hahaha. but thats what makes them awesome. lolll.

mixed

heya! the day every girl is dying for. or even guys. haha. ITS TWILIGHT DAY! wont be surprise if i see ambulances stopping by infront of curve or ou.

if today is the day that girls die for. its also the day where i die. not because of edward cullen. but because i finally received the damn letter from my amazing skool. yeah rightt.


i opened it. with much preparation. hope for the best. prepare for the worst. yeahps. and im confirmed going down to teratai :)


its like deja vu kinda thing. when i was back in primary school during standard 4. i was in the first class. then when i got to standard five i went down to the second class. it was a pretty painful experience for me. and i told myself that i wouldnt want to go thru that again ever.

that was 5 years ago.

and now that is repeating. but of course comparing to last time and now i am more disappointed but at least im matured enough to face it and not run away from it anymore.

haha. this year when lisa told me i was in matahari. im like. arrr? and i was still in bed when she texted me. i was shocked laa. like hello. did puan sow made a mistake? it was a mixed feeling.

i was happy of course. i mean haha everyone would be rightt.
i was shocked. i never intended to even enter matahari. all i wanted was to score straight A's for PMR.
i was afraid. i didnt know if i could actually take the stress. i mean come on. those people there. lol.


that was 10 months ago.

but i know that never regretted being in that class. because it has taught me alot alot of stuff and im just so glad to be able to learn it.

initially in the beginning of the year i thank God really for being in that class. and i told Him that even if i dropped in form five i will still be glad because im gonna have a strong foundation surrounded by classmates that builds you up.

and it definetly change my perception about alot of people in my class right now. and to all those that have been amazingly awesome! haha i'll just list down as much as i can to thank : )

weng si
thank you for everything really. for encouraging me so much everytime and helping so much in tuition and never stopped being there for me.

melanie long
thanks mel : ) you've always put up with my stupid times and telling you nonsensical stuff

tan juan
haha need i say more. for all those questions that you helped me solve lol. i cant be blessed enough to have you sitting so near me so that i can just turn behind to ask you any question.

jun yen
i love you womann : ) you've been an amazing best friend that i can never dream of having. and all those silly sutff that we did. lolll.

juat lee
haha sucker genius. i love you juat! she's the first person that made me text about studies. omggg. i would never text anyone about biology and chromosomes ==''

jou ee
haha you've been great and yess though there were times when we did distance thank you for the great ones!

jin wai
omggg sucker. haha. thanks jin for everything. you are such an ass at times. REALLY ASS. but thanks for being awesome at the right times. i wont say i love you because yy will slaughter me alive and burn my house.

lisa
haha all your drama. sigh. i sure do hope you will still run to me in teratai telling me about acap :)

zhiling
i dont know what i'll do without you. you never failed to be there. i've got no words to describe you because you are tremendously awesome!

sheng yang
hahaha. you rock (:

seong hock. zheng hong. yong kuang.
loll. thanks for helping me in my. uhh. every subject lolll. and omggg. you guys gossip more than girls do! hahaha. i sure enjoyed listening to all your crap and bullshit :)

nicole ang
haha thanks nic! i know i've distracted you many times and what a curse to sit infront of me lolll. thanks for being a great awesome friend :)

chern yao
hahaha. omgg. we went thru so much shyte in trixxon. lol.

yee wen
one of the nicest people around. rlly. hahaha.

alwin tan
you and your obama. i used to hate you like crap in form three. gain some weight and get darker. seriously. love ya! :)

wan hong
another politician. you and your tipping point book. shhesh. yaahh gain some weight too.

haha it doesnt mean that if your name is last you're less awesome or whatsoever okay. it just came randomly.

okayy. you know whatt. im writing a list as if im gonna migrate to africa tmrr or something ==''
im just gonna be like in the next class. haha. less than five seconds la if i wanna go to the next class. ;p

i need to face my mum now. jeng jeng jeng.
haha.

why am i haha-ing. its not even funny.

if i dont update soon. it means im slaughtered already. mwahaha. okayy its not even funny.

im gonna get ready my will.

see ya later alligators!

ash

tse kaiiii!

nahh i just wished you didnt lie to me about coming back from aust and giving me all the hopes. and right there and then you crushed it too.

you were one of the few very nice ones back in daisy. and still is (:

hahaha. just miss ya alot awesome buddy. come back soon :(

escapeeee.

yeahh escape to africa.

heya! anyway. wheesh. long dayy. im about to die. as usual. but i never rlly do. haha.


some people told me that my posts are all so bernilai moral and godly and adult talk kind. haha. which also means yahh nat. your blog is boring. haha. whatever la. lol. if what interests you are latest gossips and latest parties in clubs or whatever people think is interesting now then haha sorry wrong site to come.


church today was awesome (: we learned thru the old testamennts books. but not finished yet. it was rlly good cos i rlly felt that it would rlly help in sunday sermons.


seriously. like last time during sunday skool. everytime when they ask stuff like who's king solomon and all i'll be like. ahhh. what he talking about. aiyoooo boring laaa sunday school.


and usual the geniuses in the class. oon-hui. wynne. and becca see. dominating it baby! answer like everything. all correct wan. smarttty pants.



hahaha. so yess it would rlly help in sunday sermons. and mind youuu. preparing the lessons today was no easy job okay. even though i didnt do it. but seriously i think su and juan had to google 100000 times for pictures and maps and all those stuff.



usually when i google like common hot actors images (like chace crawford :D :D :D ) its like almost so hard de cos there can be like 10000 chace crawford and only out of that, one is hot.



so imagine googling images like tabernacle. okayy honestly i never even knew it existed. and the book of leveticus.



okayy im so fired from children church's team.


so yeahh. and well i dont know la. but i did wish that people paid attention more. cos yeahh you know it sucks when people actually prepare stuff like this which are so freaking hard to prepare and all you have to do is listen. it cant be that hard rightt. even if you cant sit down still then just be quiet to show respect to the speaker. it helps alott.


and just a little appreciation to my wonderful amazing friends and dg leaders, su and yew juan. i cannot help but thank you so much for everything la.


both of you have seriously invested so much time in caleb. and rlly blessing me with lots and lots and things that i cant even name out. beacuse if i do. it will be morning by then and i wont be able to sleep. and sleep is tremendously important to me. but not as important as you both of course (:



they text us. like at least once a week. and all their texts are like super happy one.
exclaimations mark at every end of the sentence.
you see also you feel happy.


honestly if i were their age. HONESTLY HONESTLY.


i wont even spend time for youth. i wouldnt spend my saturday afternoon going for dg to meet any youth group to teach them anything. i would rather sleep or watch tv or go out with friends.


im rlly honest. i would rather spend more time to invest in children beacuse they are easier to like handle compared to youths.

so yeahhh. JUST IMAGINE.


you work five days a week.
you just got married.
you've got your own bunch of friends to hang out with.
you've got family gatherings to attend to ( yahh su and juan has lunch and dinner like super alott with thier family and friends)
you wanna think of how to decorate your new home.
you've got to help out in weddings ( su and juan has super alot of weddings to attend)
you've got your own dg to attend to.
you want kids ( okayy thatt. well im not sure. but i sure hope they do! so cuteeee! )


and after all those long list and continuing. all you want. is A SATURDAY AFTERNOON TO SLEEP!



BUT INSTEAD.


they actually choose to come dg. to face a bunch of lovely amazing teens who never fail to listen to anything they say. YEAHH RIGHTTT. if only we were that good. hahaha

they always plan BBQ'S and outings so that we can hang out together. yew juan actually surfed the net to find out the nicest way to make a hamburger for our BBQ.


and most importantly. they both are not just dg leaders to us. they are friends. who genuienly care for us. like super alot. like our parents actually. lolll.


yeahh and yew juan was more excited for trixxon than my parents were. hahahaha.


okay fine fine. my parents showed just as much enthusiasm as yew juan did okay. just to make them feel bad. muahahaha. okay i feel gay.


i dont mind having additional parents. lollll.

so awesome to have parents who are older than you by ten years.

so yess thank you both of youuu! God cant possibly give a better dg than you both :D

hugs (:

okayy this picture is a lillt weird. cos we were bout to take picture when i decided to tip toe to be taller than both of them. they realised. and soo. they tip toed too. lesson of the story. dont last minute tip toe in pictures.

delicious!

nahh nothing's delicious. hahaha. i've ran out of post's title. thats all.

and CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! ITS ALREADY 22ND OF NOVEMBER. OMGGGGGG.

._.

THIS IS SO UNFAIR. holidays pass by like what. super fast. and SCHOOL DAYS. are like torture. i practically count how many seconds are there before school bell rings. or in tuition. ask weng si. she's my minute counting calculator partner.

awesome friday! I LOVE FIRDAYS! :D :D :D

woke up late. at eleven plus. eh thats damn late for me already okay. my mum will slaughter me if i wake up this late on weekends. apparently she says if you stay in bed to late you'll get sick. welll. which is quite true. but who cares. its the holidays baby!


went down. saw barbie:princess and the pauper playing on tv. watched with my sister. dont ask me whyy. and then a brilliant idea popped out! *light bulb*


i shall arrange all my files today! physics file. chemistry file. and blah blah.its all mixed up and i havet had the time to arrange it. so yessssss. this is awesome! fantastic plan!


well that idea lasted ten minutes. i mean COME ON. on a friday? nahhhh. i'll pass out.


BRILLIANT PLAN : FAILED.


so the next thing? GO CURVE! me likey! :D

so me and emeline got to curve. had meatballs for lunch ;) wheeee. walked around. went bookshops. clothes shop. food shops. pet shops. any shops available there.


mum joined us later. with crystal. had this padini sale there. colthes were cheaper than usual. but not that nice. okay laa. mum saw some nice clothes. emeline also.

and i had to become their ah sei. too much ==''


queue up for them. find their sizes for them. find the colour for them?! aiyoooo. my leg almost broke. i didnt even sat for the whole day. imagine those people folding the clothes there. they stood up the whole day. FOLDING COLTHES!


and people nowadays damn inconsiderate. simply suka-suka dont like the shirt they see. throw away. never even fold properly. i mean i know la customers are always right. they are paying the money. but is folding back the clothes THAT HARD. its takes like what. less that freaking 5 seconds.


and i watched madagascar 2! :D :D

to me it was sweet rather than funny. i wont spoil it for those of you who havent watched it. go watch it and see what you think. definetly worth to watch ;)


and is physics like the next paper for spm or something? saw people carrying physics books at ikea restaurant while having dinner. damn hardworking. salute! I HATE PHYSICS. makes no sense.



okay fineee it does. but whatever. i suck in it.


okay okay long day. better get to bed. loooooooooong day tmr! gonna help kai ma at little BU. away for holiday. soo will be there one whole day. then will be off to church like straight after that.

im a rockstar.


ehh dont give me that look. i can see it.


okay bye bye :)

whyyyyy.

my waking up late plan is spoiled. school teacher called and asked to return some unreturned text books==''

and i just got the news of my life. 30 something placing in my class. can someone just murder me. the only place i want to be now. is africa.

hmmmm. okay i dread the sound of the postman's bike. it sucks. because my results are gonna be delivered anytime soon. i just hope my letter gets blown away or something. SIGHHH.

ohh and i just saw in tv some global brand forum thing. and its so cool! noo seriously. i was like ehh i wanna goooo. then before they end the commercial on tv they were like. will be attended by business man something something. uhh righttt. like they will let me in. and even so i bet they will cost like 1000 bucks to enter. hahahaha.

and weng si came over yesterday lol. had fun! planned to study but well we kinda slipped off a bit. hahaha. watch moviie and painted nails! :) ehh at least i did abit of add maths okayy. sheesh.

hahaha.

okay gonna watch movie now before my mum officially grounds me for my whole entire life.

tata!

awesome (:

hahaha. im awesome laa. its okayy (:

i havent had a afetrnoon nap since forever and its so awesome! parents went out with my sisters which is the very main reason total peace is available and only an idiot would turn down this opportunity to sleep! the feeling of rest! and wOaHhhH. its amazing!


seriously. my sisters even played along saying. eh eh we are going out to eat you know. the new place in one utama. cos my auntie and cousins came to visit my uncle in hospital and they always like to jalan jalan and find food kind.


AND I TURNED DOWN FOOD! AHHHHHH. ITS A MIRACLE!


so i guess sleeping tops eating? lolll.


and my teeth hurts. bloody braces.


oh and remembered me saying about watching meet the robinsons? yeahh seriously its like the awesomest movie in the world. just watched it. for the 123456789th time.


and somehow augustana's starts and boulevards is stuck in my head.


okayy gotta clean my room now. its so messy. like junkyard.

around here, however we don't look backwards for very long. we keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious. and curiousity keeps leading us down new paths.
walt disney.

faster than ever.

alamak. if you do realise. its almost the end of the year de. so fast rightt.
sighh. i cant believe it laaa. it just felt like i was just worrying about which tuition i wanna join and arranging on my schedule with my mum so that it doesnt clash with school activities and tuitions.

omgggg. im sked! :(

SPM next year laaaaaa. shytee la. this holiday is like not even holidays. need to make sure im awesome in my form four stuff and start form five stuff. i wanna play some sports also. damn rusty la my running now. like tortoise only.

teruk laaa. high school is the best time of your life right.

hahaha. well yess i really agree with it la. i cant imagine going college and going to work. as much as school can be boring and all i dont wanna graduate. yeahh la i know its weird. but aiyoo. damn fast laaa.its like sixteen years of my life just passed.

half of the sixteen years i was sleeping. loll.


im praying hard to not kena NS. hehh. i dont wanna kenaaa.

my sister got 3RD IN CLASS. ==''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

she damn smart laaaa. kkb. i want to be as smart as her too.

oh told my dad bout my marks. he's not pissed. ahh. im so glad la. the only thing now? my mum.

anyway. gtg finish chem work. teruk laa. essay to write. so not in the mood.

tata!

we need to set our goals and our priorities so that we wont miss out on the best life God has in store for us.
ephesians 5:15-17

chilling (:

heya! lol went out with steph the crazy best friend today!

go away crystal! she's mine! ;)

hahah its been rlly long since we went out. but nevertheless it was awesome!

at starbucks

chee foong contaminated my pin! nonsense!.

hahaha we decided to watch quantum of solace. haha. its not as bad as they say laaa. they say until like damn teruk the movie but it was pretty awesome. though i dont really get it but yeahps it was great! lots of oiling stuff and selling countries stuff but the fighting scenes are still pretty good! :D

haha later then we headed to cold storage cos steph needed to get stuff for her bakery things so yeah laa. found all the stuff and seriously the stuff there damn pricey ==''

blah blah. we walked around and do what girls love to do. hehh. shopping! :D :D :D

yeahh we both bought the same shirt =='' you have no idea how many times we tried all the shirts in the shop. i think the clothes person thinks we are crazy ==''

steph took the best. while i took the friend. so its best friends! hahaha. yeahh we took damn long to decide also. hahaha

bought some stuff and had amazing fun!

shirt- rm 30

necklace- rm 30

movie-rm 51 ( including kai ma. chee foong. and robin) forgot to bring my students card ==' kkb.

starbucks- rm 30

a day out with people i treasure- priceless.

ambassador of starbucks lolll.

ahh about the results i dont wanna talk bout it de. i dont know how but whatever will be will be.

daddy's on leave tmrrrr!

so so hapeeee!

i wanna wake up as late as i can. its been so long since the schedule of waking up at 12 in the afternoon.

i dont care. bonding time with my bed.

i'll shoot anyone who wakes me up.

seriously. im actually an agent of the secret organization of awesome spies.

mwahahaha. okay bye bye.

ravin bought this from bangkok. so cute! haha thank you awesome!

don't know?

sad news and awesome news. which one first?
i shall start with the awesome news. because if i start with the sad one. then i wont have the mood anymore to talk bout the awesome one.

long dayyyyy for me!

lol. yesterday woke up at seven. reached school by 730

waited for chern yao. zi chuen. and wan hong. we had to go exxon mobil company to finish up our slides and rehearse our presentation for ten million times because before this exams was held and we didnt had time to practice our speech and blah blah blah.

took the bus from ikano. went to kj's lrt station. had a huge debate from the bus to the company ==''' hahaha. raeched at 11am. and started perfecting the slides! did that till lunch time. called mum and told her i'll be back before 5pm.

she said okay and continued finishing everything with su chin and edmond. ravin just came back from bangkok and was supposedly on leave but he came back to the office to help us. so awesome right. alwin joined us around one.

asshole.


practicing real hard till real late. see the sky outside? damn dark. wan hong in action.


working with everyone at menara exxon mobil.

had starbucks break. continued reheasing. called my mum to extend time. told her i'll be back before 10. practice the crap out of the crap. had macdonalds for dinner. told my mum will be home by eleven.

practiced more. told my mum will be home by twelve.

left the office at twelve. reached home at twelve plus. lol. thanks edmond and su. so so much.

woke up at 6. got to school. made sure everything went well. wan hong was doing the t-shirt. blady blar blar. so effing tired. have been in this kinda situation since saturday itself.

damn nervous thru out the whole thing. come on man. its scaryyy.

and

TADA!

WE WON BABY!

:D :D :D

we grabbed seven awards! all the awards! ahhhhhhh!

damn happy. seriously. hard work paid off!

yeahh i know. damn awesome right. the awards we won.

1. best annual report

2. best service/product award

3. best safety award

4. best presentation award ( 2nd placing)

5. best slide show award

6. best booth award

7. best employee award ( chern yao)

8. BEST OVER ALL COMPANY AWARD! : D : D : D

we are going to the national's baby! celebrate celebrate!

so effing tired! omggg. thank you so much ravin. su chin. and edmond. and yess su chin! he's one heck of a cute emcee okay. inside joke* whatever ravin ;D

nat. edmond. su. ravin. :)

Board of directors. and lovely secretaries.

chern presenting.

imba connection is like shit. picture size super huge. will upload when its faster. screw the connection.

the not awesome news?

yeahpss. i screwed my exams. i cant believed i actually cried over exams marks. yeahps. im just damn disappointed over my marks.

and all this while like during exams (monthly) and mid term. i put in like damn alot of effort. not alot on monthly cause yeahh. exams are damn fucking stressful for me.

okay before you give me the studies is not everything look. let me say what i wanna say.

i always say to myself exams are not everything. and there are more than life to these. i play hard. work hard. have a social life. and yess. awesome family. great friends. a real living God. however. i need to work my fucking ass off for this end term exams beacuse i wanna stay at the first class as SPM is like NEXT YEAR?!

so yess. im not saying that other classes are not smart, im just saying that i wanna be in the top class. and they look at your end year results to stream you.

and what the fuck. i worked my ass off like shit. to mantain in the top class. i stayed up like damn late. work as hard as i can. exhausted all the time because form four is not as easy as form three. and every fucking subject im taking in pure science now is like maths related. and my maths is like. shit. real effing shit. damnn stupid. so i ahve to struggle my ass off.

practicing. practicing. practicing. twice as hard. twice as smart?

and now? damn the damn results.

all this while i always said can do better. trying to comfort myself that everything will turn out for the best. yeahh i was living in hell. and the tears that came out today? its not only just for this exams. its for every damn disappointment i had to go thru. every single shit i struggled. if this is a test from God. im not sure if im hanging strong anymore. one can only take so much.

i need to excel in my studies. i want to give my parents an awesome life in the future. i wanna set a good example for my sisters.

personal glory is like 190498509856873497859 on my why i wanna be good in my studies list.

yeahps. i wanna get a scholarship. i mean like surely i know to get that you have to be extarodinarily outsatnding. everyone can get into college by parents money. but i dont want to. wont it be more satisfying that you get into college thru hard work? and i've got like sisters. i mean i know my parents will be able to afford the fees and all. but if i can i wanna reduce my burden for them.

so yeahh.

i hate disappointments. and i hate it when im the loser.

in everything i do. i wanna be the best. the awesomest. whats the point of doing something when you're not gonna be the winner at the end? i make sure i win for eveything i participate in.

so yeahh, im just rlly pissed. oh well. whatever la. lets not let this spoil my holiday mood shall we?

damn the exams. damn the effort. damn the disappoitment.

sorry for the language. i need to let it out.

oh yeahh. and please dont send symphaty text messages. i dont need them. it sounds so unsincere. i mean some. not all of all the texts. to the rest of. thank youu! :D

ohh and ahemmm. im just gonna write this down lol. beacuse. i dont know la. he wont be visiting my blog anyway. so he wouldnt know. i hope. hahaha. here su chin. i'll show you nice he is lol.

i was complaining bout my marks. and well. he signed in and stuff. and blah blah. so we talked.

<<>> - - says:
then say :D
natttttttt (: says:
57
natttttttt (: says:
yeahh
natttttttt (: says:
laugh your ass la
<<>> - - says:
i'm not laughing
natttttttt (: says:
or
natttttttt (: says:
at least you must be thinking
natttttttt (: says:
omgg
natttttttt (: says:
wth
natttttttt (: says:
damn stupid
<<>> - - says:
if u did try ur best then dun care abt wat others thinking.

omgg. that last sentence nearly stopped my heartbeat. crapp. ignore the grammar. focus on the meaning. I KNOWWWWW. damn nice righttt. HAHAHAHA.
natttttttt (: says:
seriously
natttttttt (: says:
i work like damn super super hard
natttttttt (: says:
how to study smart
natttttttt (: says:
seriosuly. i wanna give up de la
<<>> - - says:
change,we can believe in ;)

thats so political. influenced by alwin the ass. oh well.

hahaha. he's smart. and nice. for now. sigh.

till then. i need to finish everything on this list.

1. get some rest

2. clean my room

3. arrange my test papers and organize my files and books

4. spam accounts and bk.

5. buy form five books. or make sure im sure of all my form four facts.

6. watch meet the robinsons. i watched the movie like 790983497938408975 times already but the cartoon is so awesome and touching.

7. watch all the movieS in the shelf.

eat dinner now. TIREDDD! going out with steph tmrr! :D

nights!

and thanks nicole. you're rlly awesome! :)

thank you for being there all the time. and yess. i've no words to describe how awesome you are!

love ya secreatry lady! ;)

noob

i realised. that.
I SUCK IN MICROSOFT POWER POINT.
my computer skills is like major bullshit. i can die.

have to prepare slides for tmrr and yess i suck so much that. i dont know what to say.
but im figuring it out. and its 12;30 am. great huh. i realise that i dont have the appropriate pictures needed for the slides. so gotta ask rachal tmrr for it.

hectic day today!
went skool. did TriXxon stuff.
stayed back.
did Trixxon stuff.
rushed to accounts tuition from skool.
came back at 5. had lunch.
washed up.
went for physics tuition.
came back at 11.
doing slides now.

hahaha. if thats not bad enough.
tmrrr. one whole day from 8am.
exxon mobil office to have final rehearsal.
lol. its so funny la. and i thought working was fun.
is this how my parents feel everyday for the past one thousand years? hahaha.

omggg. giving back results. and daisy people
highest for add maths. 95%.
tootoootooooooot.
yeah i know. i can die la.


being in matahari is like a dream that i've been through out the whole year.
and now its time to wake up.
to realise that they made a typo error or something.
and i belong to teratai or daisy.
and the worst part.
is that you worked your ass off.
and you realise that.
damnn. no point. its still the crappy results that you didnt want.
so might as well.
dont work hard right?
save time. save energy. save disappointment.

if this is a test from God.
its one hard test. hahaha.
im not sure if i can hang on anymore.
my hands. are losing the grip.
or more importantly.
my heart. and the passion that keeps the rest of the body going.

EHHH OF COURSE I CAN LA.
hahaha. test and trials are ahead.
hey but why afraid when God's here? lol.
but i did wish that God created energy pills.
im so exhausted now. that i can fall alseep on the keyboard.

internet connection is slow like tootttt.
damn pissed.
wheeeeee.

haha mum just lectured.
ask to clean my room.
==''
and to sleep.
yeahh i need sleep
she's giving me the go-sleep-or-i-will-kill-you-look.
yeahh i'll kill myself if i dont sleep now anyway.

but seriously im screwed for my results.
dead meat.
nights (:

the tipping point

heya! just came back from a really hectic day. im supposed to wash up but i'll just spare myself a few minutes to nonsesne write ;) hahaha.

number 1. yay! mum said okay to youth camp! ;D anyway if she didnt also i'll make sure she does let me go. hahaha. thanks su for covering up for me first! i'll give you the camp fees like next sat during dg :) and secondly!

I BOUGHT A NEW BOOK! :D :D :D

the tipping point

by malcolm gladwell.

i havent read the first book yet but im gonna read it soon. his first book. blink. caught my attention.

the power of thinking without thinking

awesome eh. so yess now i have two books of his! yayyyyy! hapinesss! and i wanna read jeffery archer's not a penny more not a penny less too. my parents are obseesed with him as how i am obsessed with sleeping and smart guys. heh. dont give me that look ==''

so anyway. i just wanna make a little apology to the rest of the BOD'S. actually to chern only laa. alwin wan hong and zichuen always tidak apa wan. lollll. yeahh. i know i always get carried away by emotions. and i can be a bitch suddenly without prior notice. sorry if i slacked everyone's

time. and yeahh hahaha.

well. im not someone who will keep quiet if i dont agree with something. im loud and noisy. hyper and tiredless. its definetly my weakness that i cant keep professionalism when i need too. i cant get serious. neither can i not be hyper. its just me laa i guess. hahahaha. im retarded and crazy. and yess sometimes i do do whatever i want when i wanna do whatever i want. there goes the plan of ten kids. i'll be like nvm laaa. do whatever you want my dear kids. worst mum ever ==''

;x

but i'll do try to not be as retarded laa. when its time to be serious. i'll try my best? heh. that would take a rlly long time for me to adapt laa. but hey no harm trying eh? :D

ehh but im sensitive to people's feeling k. one thing is that whenever people changes their emotions. i can easily detect from the tone of voice and their gestures. thats probably one gift God blesses me with la. its good okay. so you know when people get pissed. RUN AWAY! but sometimes im too lazy to be bothered. hahaha.

soreeah! :(

so yeahps. sincere apology to chern. three awesome people. wan hong. alwin. and zi chuen. i dont know what i'll do if i cant complain to you three. even at times you dont even understand nuts whats going on. you never question. but whats amazing. i cant believe all three of you can actually stand me blabbering nuts that makes no sense.

and even at times when I AM THE WRONG PARTY. alwin and wan hong always agrees with me. hahahaha. omgg. i have the awesomest friends ever laaa. besides jun yen. zhiling. juat. lisa. steph. jin. weng si. aiyaaa. you know la. and the rest blah blah.

hahaha. okayy thenn. im so tired that i think if elephant breaks into my house i will never even wake up.

gotta wash up! and wash hair. even though its already like 2330. feel so yuck laaa.

hahaha. k then! nights ;)

alwin tan wee giat

he's just righttt beside me now.
on my left wan hong.
in front zi chuen.
wheeeee. haha. okayy im just a little kkb from everything today lol. long day mann.

okay gtg. ciao.

insecure?

heya!

exams are overrrr!

ahh im so so glad! :D :D :D its been a rollercoaster for three weeks and the feeling of after exams are just the sweetest! :D

anyway. yeahh im super exhausted right now :( woke up at 6 plus. on a friggin saturday! went for accounts tution which lasted three hours! 8-11 am. rushed to nicole's place to get slide shows and speeches ready for closing ceremony on wednesday.

had lunch with alwin and wan hong. hahaha. yeah chern yao got conned by the shop so he got pissed and cancelled his order hahaha. he ordered a salad but what they put in the salad is not what they stated on the menu. hahaha. so yeah he got pissed and he left back to nic's place earlier. me wan hong and alwin got conned too=='' hahahahaha. its the funniest lunch i had since a long long time.

wan hong ordered spagetti but when it came it was black color. hahahaha! alwin and me ordered some fried rice which tasted like crapp! you should have seen our faces. as much as it was fustrating we laughed till we nearly died. and miscommuniactions on the way too. lol inside joke.

haha then at 4 rushed to church for dg. bk class was on from 6-7. now im back home and yeahh super tired. going out for dinner soon i think. but im not sure if i have the energy. first time im saying no to food. miracle =='' hahaha. gotta prepare my speech finish by tonight cos i'll be helping kai ma at her stall at BU3 carnival tmrr from 7 am to 6pm.

COME VISIT OUR STALL! YOU WONT REGRET! :D and then i've gotta rush to nic's place again till 10pm to finish up speeches and practice them with the rest of the board of Directors.

and accounts teacher spamming classes like crapp. physics add maths and chem tution also spamming to teach form five stuff. and im gonna spam reading bible knowledge and score like high A1 for it. by high meaning 90 over. i dont care la. i just wanna take bk more seriously and no its not impossible to get 90 plus.

beacuse i am gonna do it.

talk until like damn easy. hahahaha. less talk more work man. lol. and im gonna spam accounts too. ahh my accounts is like on the verge of dropping in the drain.

so anyway in dg today. yeahps i learned important stuff. you know what. joshua in the book of joshua? hahaha. he's damn hot. seriously. he sounds so awesome and hot! hahaha. anyway. thats

not the point. yeahps we learned bout book of joshua. and its rlly interesting.

after that we did talk about the giants in our life that we are facing and yeahps. currently i cant deny i have giants in my life too. im afraid to tell my mum my marks. yeahh. i'll get screwed like crapp. i dont know la. my mum is expecting marks like 80 plus. but thats not possible for me. not now at least. oh well. life's like that eh.

my other insecurities? yeahh my sisters are geniuses. and usually the say that the older one must set good example for the younger ones to follow. but i dont think i am. both of them are way smarter than me. my smallest sister got 14 th placing out of 675 students in yuk chai. standard two la. when i was 8? i was playing catch. watching tv. playing video games. she? practicing her maths. studying her science? yeahh.

sometimes i really feel insecure. come on. if anyone who is given a choice. who wouldnt want to be smart? to be praised? to be noticed? to be the apple of the eye of your parents? i admit im not as smart. i dont score 90 plus marks. im not those extraordinary students who does exceptionally well in school. im not the one that everyone comes to look after when they need solutions to questions.

but i can say that. if in terms of effort.

i give the most effort and i work the hardest among the three of us.

i know im not one of those blessed with extra neurons in the brain.

but i never let those stuff stop me.

i put in the most work and i study the most among my three sisters.

i sleep later than them and i wake up earlier than them.

that was even when i was their age.

and it sucks that everytime they are the ones that come back with results that put that smile on my mum's face.

while i am the one that gets the lecture all the time.

im not saying that i hate it my sisters are smart. but yeahh. you get my point.

my dad is awesome. he doesnt look down or neither does he compare. as long as i improve he's already rlly glad. like from 40 to 50 for add maths. im not gifted with numbers. but yeahh.

sometimes i just want my mum to know that i put in lots of effort. and im always giving out my best. i wouldnt mind going out that extra mile to earn the things i need.

in fact i would gladly go any extra mile to help me get the grades i need.

i dont blame my mum in a way either. living in the world today everything is about academics.

who cares if you are gifted in other areas?

who cares if your talents are other stuff?

no one does. i know genuinely she wants the best for me. but soemtimes its tiring and exhausting.

thats one of my main insecurities. and i dont exactly know what i wanna do in future. i gotta start deciding now. and get a rough idea of what i wanna do in future. of course. the jobs that gets the fame and glory.

doctors. engineers. lawyers. etc.

noo. im not saying that being those are nonsensical.

its whether you are doing it for the passion.

or simply because everyone else is doing it.

im praying really hard that God decides for me. i honestly have no idea what i wanna do. i might wanna open up a kindergarten. or does something that is close to my heart. maybe open up orphanages? or im kinda interetsed in becoming a pilot.

i just need a soul to give me support in everything i do. besides my dad. and my grandparents never failed believeing in me. zhiling : ) you never stopped have you? you know sometimes you dont know how you impact someone's life by just lending them the support they need in times when no one believes in them.

and i wanna put my full trust in God. in everything i do i just wanna rlly trust him. beacuse he made me special. and different from the rest. im just gonna end this post with a short extract i read from this book yew juan and su asked me to read.

A few weeks ago I sat underneath a star-filled sky just ''being still and knowing He's God''. I was struggling with a few things as I looked up at the inky vastness, feeling so small and lost in it. My eyes scanned the sky until they loocked on one particularly bright star that I was unable to look away from. It was brighter than all the other stars. It wasnt in a cluster of stars but was by itself. God quietly whispered to my heart,'' Thogu at times when standing alone can feel like the loneliest, most painful place to be, those who stand alone capture and hold My gaze. The ones who are okay with being different and shining brighter are the ones I cant look away from. Dont try to be like everyone else when you were meant to stand apart. Dont kill the dreams that set you apart and make you different, for your dreams make you who you are.

the dream giver by Jessica and Bruce Wilkinson.

honestly i dont know how awesome can God get. hahaha. out for dinner! looks like i cant turn down food after all. haha tata!

being human is okay : )

hahaha. happy friday!
ahh sejarah over today! finally!

phewww. im glad laa. cos yeah sejarah need to memorize damn alot of stuff. now the only stuff left are paper threes. moral ==' . my favourite. i dont even know where the paper with all the nilai's went. and maths papers. yeahh my weakest laa. mod maths is killing me. i never listen in class. and yeah now is the akibat. everyone is already assured and guranteed of getting 100% in my class. so its like free paper. for them that is. haha like i care. I DO CARE. SHEESH.


anyway yeah as much as im suppose to be practicing my addmaths now ==''''''' im just gonna post a short one. rejoice rejoice! new addition to the family! my new doggggg! :D :D :D haha picture soon la. no time to take.damn naughty though. but damn cute laa. haha.

and yeahps. today God reminded me that its okay to be human.

to be happy or upset. or angry. he doesnt need me be always happy all the time or neither does he require me to be all perfect all the time. its okayy to be human.


i found out that. someone whom i thought is awesomely perfect and hot is like totally taken. hahaha. well i only found out after like damn long. as in after i like him damn super long. haha. i wasnt exactly upset. just felt like yeahh. i dont know laa. but oh wells. life like that eh. hahaha.


got smart guy sitting vertically infront of me during exam. whoohoo! not hot. but smart. awesome laa. hahaha. yeahh i think the whole class knows adi. got difference okayy. between thinking he's hot. and liking him. haha. oh well the past is the past but im still nat the awesome! :D hahaha.


and yeahh im sick of everything laa. like exams. and im so freaking exhausted.


omgg please dont give me the OMGG YOU ARE ONLY FORM FOUR LOOK. WAIT TILL YOU COME TO WORK LAA.


shut the *tooooot* up. i've heard that stupid phrase since forever la. and YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO TELL ME THAT BEACUSE YOU WERE ONCE LIKE THAT TOO. except that maybe you didnt rlly bother bout studies last time so it wasnt stressed out for you? yeahh i can understand. losers like youu! okayy sorry. scratch that. i just wanna release my anger. sorry!

im honestly pissed and so tired.

i just want a damn break.

eventhough so there's still so much stuff to do. and yeahh i just rlly want a break la. i've got accounts to catch up. bible knowledge. and teacher's starting form five stuff. omgg. honestly la. i wanna do things that i like too! im missing out on so much fun stuff! i just wanna rest in God. and hang out with friends that would probably be going overseas soon.


i hate classes and im so sick of it! then if you cant make it people will simply assume and yeah im fed-up explaining beacuse its not like they would believe you anyway so whats the point. their mind-set is already there always trusting in their own knowledge that whatever they assume is right. and if you need me to prove it to you.

i dont need to.

because. i dont need to prove anything to anyone.

and its not only studies. its like everything else also la. im sick of people telling me stuff without even sure of facts? yeahh. i mean they tell you stuff like oh come on nat. dont disappoint me. or. oh nat? why laa. i would never expect this from you. or you gotta take this seriously. what rights do you even have to even say this to me? or assuming things without asking? yeahh. i hate it la. if you're not sure. THEN ASK. dont simply say stuff la. im not hurt beacuse its not worth it la. the worst part is that these are people you never thought would do this to you. yeahh but this is life. you cant expect everyone to be considerate.


but then again i have no rights to judge anyone. beacuse im not that perfect either. im far from that. thanks God that i never have to go through all this alone. thats the amazing part of it.

im never alone

and i will never be alone going thru all this nonsense.

and because you cant see whats in front of you you put full trust in God knowing that He's always choosing whats best for you. beacuse after all He's the ever perfect Father. the ever perfect best friend. who never fails to close the door despite all those stuff that you've done to Him. and He's always waiting at the door there. not only waiting. but running towards you even when He sees you still far away.

thank you awesome God :)

im done with living my life on other people's expectation.

im tired of living on what people tell me to live on.

awesome nat is back! haha. awesome nat is always here. just that she's awesomer now. haha sorry laaaa. syok sendiri. i feel so freeeee! :D
i've got so much love to spread around. haha.
its okay to be human right? haha. nights ;)

p/s: happy birthday quah. dong. and juliet! :D have an awesome one!