Friday, July 27, 2012


I remember back then when I was younger there was only one question that I would ask my parents. Besides asking what are we having lunch/dinner, I always asked them how come they wanted to have Emeline and later Crystal. I always imagined how happy I would be without them with all the extra goodies I would get instead of it giving it to them and how much more extra attention/love/money would be mine. But things did work out for the best. Everyday the only thing I would be consistently thankful for are my sisters. Emeline and Crystal are truly the two people who understand me most.

Due to bigger age difference with Crystal of about eight years, I can relate more things to Mer. I think it would be quite hard to tell Crystal about how I am not sure if I am doing the right degree because she does not even know what a degree is or things like if is it worth it to spend time on this guy because they might end up all being assholes anyway. But nonetheless we still love her as much.

Mer is one of the best persons I know in life. I remember when we were younger we were like cats and dogs. Or probably worst. I wished she never existed. Now she is the best friend I can ever have. It’s like having a best friend that stays under the same roof as you and whenever I need her I can just go next door.

She’s been sort of like my life/road GPS. Literally. She has the best sense of direction and I would be quite terribly lost if I were driving alone. She’s the free adventurous spirit, the tough and fierce one. I am more of a chicken, and all my adventures are mostly based on her constant pushing. She’s the one who will remind me to man up and be strong when I am making myself unhappy with stupid decisions. She knows what is in my head even before I speak it out. Every time I just say mer, and before I can even finish my sentence she would say, what jie, you want to drink chatime is it/you want to kill this person is it/you want me to help you do this is it.

She is indeed the eldest in the family. Sometimes I can be quite terrified of her. However because of the physical convention that I am the eldest although I am not really, I get to have the final say in the end :D though most of the final decisions made are based on her ideas because they are the rational ones.

But do not be fooled for sometimes when we fight, it can be war. We don’t need to use many harsh words, but each word uttered hurts ten times more. Like there was once when she was doing some things on the computer and I kept on bugging her and asked her if she wanted to have lunch with me hahaha, and she said shut up jie in the please don’t mess with me tone. So I just stopped bugging her after that. The next day I saw a note that said, sorry I didn’t mean to ask you to shut up and she drew bobby’s face on the paper. Hahaha.

All I want to say is that I am very thankful for my sisters, and its just one of those days where I feel like talking about it. 

Friday, July 20, 2012

Of social conventions and dictations

My parents used to warn me about how sometimes the most professional and elite settings are the most dangerous places-- where people dress up in nicely ironed crisped shirts, where the sound of heels clicking as they get louder and creeps behind you without an acknowledgement. The thoughts of people are almost impossible to perceive and the desire of their hearts are beyond your understanding. There is no single wavelength of what you think it is and what it actually is would be on the same frequency. And so that kind of fear instilled in you is what you grow up with and you can only experience this for yourself when the time comes.

I am going to write about this because this is in the moment kind of thing, and the feeling differs as time passes and I want to capture every moment of my feelings --memories and capturing of words are the only thing left of your shadows and past. Before this I was interning at uncle peter’s office, my wonderful pastor a very kind family friend of ours. I was in my own comfort zone. I remembered clearly the first day of work I had lunch with jie Su back then when she was still pregnant with Jerome and everyone I saw in office were familiar faces. Aunty mee lee was sitting behind me, uncle james (which I found out was my neighbour a few doors away after I started working there which saw how ignorant I was in making contact relations) took me home everyday after work, there was krystina, uncle felix and many other people from church which made me felt at home and at ease. I wasn’t sure if people were kind to me because they sympathized a young intern, or because I was so used to addressing our boss uncle peter rather than mr sze. or perhaps they were just genuinely kind which they were to me at the end of the day.

And so I was intending to return there for internship this summer break where I did not have to worry about anything. Instead, out of my sudden hype of wanting to try out something else and experiencing something new, I decided to apply for internship elsewhere. I am completely on my own.

I feel that I have probably learned more in three weeks than what I learned in university for the past nine months. And most of all, I have learned that the things I pick up are not only knowledge confined but are of social etiquettes and norms. Well this applies more to myself and it is not an indication of how it works everywhere.

1) do not be afraid to ask questions no matter how stupid they can be
I was more than anything but fearful to approach people to ask them anything I was unsure of. I did not want to be of trouble. I compiled a report and in corporate terms, ytd stood for year to date, but instead I wrote yesterday. I think we have been ingrained to not ask questions because asking questions is seen to be stupid. But if we never ask, the stupidity of those questions will eventually stupefy us. And if you are still afraid, Google. Googling is the most essential and useful tool of knowledge available to mankind. And yes I am still working on both asking more questions and the fear of asking questions does not disappear overnight.

2) it is okay to not know anything. But learn?
my first week of work I was all wtf is all this omg can somebody just murder me why is this like this why is this like that when is lunch time when can I go home TT but that is the whole thing of internship aint it, to learn. If everyone expects you to know everything, then we would not have to be pain stakingly try to get our degrees to get more painful work after that. But it would help if you willing to learn. Actually, you don’t really have a choice, you have to learn.

3) read up. A lot.
I just found out that Ben Bernanke is the chairman of the Federal Reserve, the Central Bank of the United States. That explains how much of an ignorant I am.

4) we try not to take offense if people make jokes that may seem offensive. Or is actually offensive
I am not sure how I should put this, but sometimes ignorant is bliss. In some cases at least. Do not let your day be ruined by something so insignificant. The things that come out from a person’s mouth reflects a person in almost every way and it projects their intellectuality.

5) when don’t know what to reply, just give a neutral one.
Sometimes when colleagues comment on things like, this is shit, or what idiocy is this and I am not sure what to say I just shrug and smile. I think it is way better than giving a comment which ends up a little unwise?

6) formal reply matters
people in the office really really really love to email. Really. Emailing is the in thing now. Even if you sit right in front of that person. if there is one thing I have to adapt is probably when I am replying emails. Personally I love to show enthusiasm when replying mails or texts and even when answering calls because it projects your tone that people cannot see. It’s the least representation of yourself. And so usually my email will go like this:

HI BLABLABLA! How are you doing! Is everything good! J hope all is well! I was just wondering if it is okay for you to send the attachment I need by the end of the day? So sorry for your trouble and thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

But now at work my email is just like this;

Dear Blablabla,
Hi, hope you are having a lovely day. Please email the attachment by the end of the day, thank you.


I really need to get used to it. People at work just need that formality. Although this may differ in various places.

7) have fun!
I don’t know how much fun is everyone having in uni but I am glad this is a current substitute from school. Can live in denial until results comes out. Be that intern that when you leave your colleagues will say oh no he/she is gone, no one is going to help me do this/do that.

Hopefully greater news come forward in the next few weeks :D

On a brighter note, its a FRIDAY WHATS UP!!!!!! Everyone in office is booking tickets to watch the dark knight and the only thing I want to do is go home, eat dinner and chill with family and the bobby boy. Not sure if I am 20 or they are 20.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


And so I have been really enjoying my internship. I mean although it can be quiet and boring sometimes but the exposure I gain is so much more than anything I have ever learned in university. The reason why I really love it is because this is what I am good at. This is something I know I would enjoy doing no matter how daunting the task is. Because it is in me. It is everyone’s talent in their own ways.  My boss has been so kind to me, and I have met some nice colleagues and I am really enjoying myself. It is so difficult to even think about going back to uni, going back to the crap that I had to endure for the past 9 months. I am honestly not sure what kept me in one piece, with the amount of psychotic work, crazy lecturers and self-murdering exams. I don’t even have to go back there to think about how crazy and stressful life is going to get when I return there.

You know how sometimes we always have to go according to the systems of the world and you really hate it. The one thing I hate more than selfish and ignorant people would probably be maths. Yes, maths. Some people are just so naturally good in it. They don’t have to even think about the questions because it comes so naturally. Truth to be told I am jealous of all these people. If only I could have one tenth of their brain power I would be the happiest. Unfortunately I am not. We always try to be people we are not.. but at the end of the day who are we fooling. Sometimes fooling ourselves is so much more damaging than fooling the world.

Not quite sure how much courage I would have to harness to return back to the reality of life, and how much bravery to go against the convention of the universe. Sometimes choosing between the bridges to cross and the ones to burn can be so illusive that we end up burning ourselves before we even choose to cross any of it.

Hey nat, at least you are not drowned.

Monday, July 9, 2012

you are good, real good

Turning 20 was great! Didn’t do much of crazy party I wanna strip and go to the casino till I am drunk kind of thing but it was really good. Had to go for a stupid marathon in the morning, almost killed me 7km long omg TT but I didn’t exactly run, I just walked all the way hahaha good job nat :D then had lunch with sisters at petaling street, the yong tau foo is so damn good if not because we had to go back for dinner we would have just continued eating till we die cos it was so damn good! Went to the pet shop after that, had to get shampoo for our baby and we saw this super nice shampoo with super nice packaging and super nice smell with less chemicals but it was 185 dollars wts!!!! Even my shampoo is not 185 dollars and even if it was it would be way more than this dog shampoo but it smelled so good I swear even if I use it my hair will smell damn good too. Was super tired already then but some of my aunts were coming over so had to clean the house when we went home and had to help my mum to cook some things and now that I am in office I am so tired cos I only had 4 hours of sleep I wanna kill myself :(
After dinner, which was so damn good, was waiting for ash to come over cos she was around the neighbourhood and suddenly hanna, yee thong and brian appeared out of nowhere wts! So bloody surprised, was so happy and touched! They brought cupcakes over (visualize good looking cupcakes) cos I am too lazy to upload the photo :D and it was good! We just chilled and talked to each other and took photos yay! Missed jia wei though, Bangkok shopping woman! really great way to end  the day and im super thankful for Ashley who took the time to organize it, family :’)
Went for my first press conference this morning! It was for the SME Awards launching, small medium enterprise recognition awards, and it was super businessy. Everyone just goes there and shake hands and exchange business cards lol. It was so funny, this guy, came over to where me and my another colleague was sitting down and just started shaking hands and when he passed me his card I was WHAT THE SHIT.  He’s a special assistant to the CEO of Cimb Bank, I never even heard of such a position my whole life, but apparently such a post exists! Then my colleague told me he’s a really high position person and very high profile and then I suddenly had a realization this is what I want to do in the future, my ambition! Unless I become the CEO myself mwahaha. And then this guy also handed another card and he asked for mine and I said I don’t have and he asked back don’t you carry your business card around, I nearly laughed till I died. And the good thing about press conferences is that they serve really good refreshments after that. I had the vegetable lagsana which was so good! Good job, super full and super sleepy.
Going to meet up with jins, miss him too much, haven’t seem him for so long and so glad that he is back from the States and lis soon, eventhough im so bloody tired right now and can probably sleep for ten days in a row.

Half an hour more till going home time!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

intern for summer break!

im interning at The Edge for two months!! :) so no more HIMYM marathon in the morning, and all my other series and sleeping till noon and im so sad :( but kinda exciting too! it's my third day of work, and everything is still kinda laid back , kinda boring for now but im pretty sure in the next few posts im gonna start talking about how im going to die being drowned with work beyond my smartness hahaha. okay kidding. i hope i dont post so much of that. but i picked up a few things along the way. well kind of picked up :D 

people come really late to the office. when late, it means about 10, 11, 12. thats the really cool thing about working in a newspaper company because they stay back late for work at night to finish up the publications for the printing of newspapers which starts midnight! i mean it's kind of cool! i dont mind coming in late to work if i have to stay back a little later. and im so happy cos the office is just next door to Tesco!!! i can go to Tesco everyday during lunch break woohoo! but most of the time i just chill at Borders after lunch which is fun! and the office is so near my house, thanks Jesus :') 

met a few nice colleagues, they are so experienced and talented. i just spoke to one of the senior financial writer, and he's so funny and so well darn equipped in his expertise of the financial world and sites. he just came back from Ukraine after the Euro2012, Calsberg sponsored him for this trip! perks of working in the Editorial Department! he asked me if im a mad woman because he doesnt understand why i have to intern here. he says i will cry when they start giving me work and wished i could reverse the clock back to when i had nothing to do. he's been working at other newspaper companies for really long so he's really experienced but he's humble too. he went there with a few other friends from other newspaper companies and he said they were like a bunch of psychos in the plane because they served beer all the way until there and they had at least 15 bottles of beer each day and they scared off all the angmohs on the plane hahaha.

other than that, all i do is just read papers and news these three days which is kinda mundane but i am now at least better in all these business foreign news thing which i didnt know a shit about before this. and while i was reading some news in New York Times this morning, guess what i found this is like a website where parents can monitor their child's activities on social media websites where they can see what they do at all times. even if their kids drive and text at the same time. if i saw this article a few years back i would most probably be like what the shit, only psycho parents would this have they no sense of privacy etc and all the teenage emotional rage hahaha. but now when im looking at it, im like WHADDAP THIS IS THE BEST WEBSITE EVER! this is the website im gonna use to monitor my children next time! okay kidding, unless it goes out of hand. :D okay i dunno what im talking about. 

and they have a coffee making machine in office, i just tried this drink chocolate plus coffee or something plus something but it is so good!!!!! and so sweet so i'll probably get diabetes by the end of my internship :D i hope everything goes well and looking forward to more exciting happenings! 

and going to watch Brave tonight with lis, oh yeah!!