tomorrow night, I will be on the way home to Penang. ah home :) home where my heart is ever flowing with joy!
just lately I feel like too many things have been happening and I am updating in such short spans of time, talking about from MIA-ing for a year to updating in a day?!! ah reciprocation. Such a terrible state to not be in. Is it wrong to want it? To yearn for it? Is it less sincere if we want to be reciprocated in a way that when we do something for others we want something back in return?
Sometimes I feel like it isn't so much about returning the favor in a different form, but more of like feeling appreciated. I think it is just nice to be appreciated. To know that your good works is loved and impacted in another's life. I think that is all that is asked. And perhaps to be loved in return as well. But then is earned love not love in the first place? If we have to earn our love, isn't love then a gift for our merits? And if we do not do enough, will our love be lost and never be spoken again?
And so maybe we don't do things to be loved, we do things for another because we love. Because if we do things to be loved, there is bound to be disappointment. But I think the best kind of love is the one where we do something for the ones we love, and they reciprocate back because they love us, not because of our works but just because they simply love us. And when one reciprocates back and it repeats infinitely, love is indefinite. Life is indefinite.
If I can say what love means to me, it is simply this-We love because He first loved us. I don't think our human love can ever measure up to the unconditional love of my Father in Heaven. He is ever so loving, ever so gracious, ever so my Dad. He painted the skies but He chose to hold my heart close to His. I am so grateful that even when my own failures and selfishness overtakes me, I am so secured in His unchanging love. I can never measure up to His love ever, but knowing and experiencing His love, I can love not from my own strength but His.
To love and to be loved back is the most blissful thing one can ever ask for