panic attack! gonna get back results this friday DAMN FAST. i tell you the more i think i about it the more i want to die. for macro i totally dont understand a single shit thing he asked. ok maybe i did, but i dont even know what answer i wrote. haha my lecturer is really good, perhaps too good! he says we have to be discerning and we have to think beyond the book and need lots of application, SO CONFIRM I AM NOT A DISCERNING PERSON, CANNOT THINK BEYOND THE BOOK AND DONT KNOW HOW TO APPLY ANY SHIT IN MY LIFE :( and i got a freaking credit for critical thinking last semester, WHICH PROVES I CANT THINK EITHER. but its ok that one i not so sad cos it was a bullshit subject eventhough my lecturer was good, its more like memorizing bullshit than to help me think critically. if they actually thought me how to think, i would be quite happy, but they didnt. had to draw diagrams about arguments, WHAT THE PERRY? seriously man. but oh wells, at least i picked up some stuffs about fallacy and media and pseudoscience which was kinda interesting.
OK SO ANYWAY. omgggg fridayyyyy howwwwww. calculus and macro and stats, i wanna slit my wrists. ok im kinda aiming for distinction, i hope all goes well. if i freaking get a fail or just a pass, i might kill myself. NO I WILL KILL MYSELF. you know how those people on the news trace back people who commit suicide and they post all these suicidal things on their twitter and facebook and blog hahaha. ok its not even funny, im crossing every single part of organ in my body that everything goes well :(
been so busy this hols, watched smurfs and planet of the apes! awesome shizzz! and been catching up on himym and gossip girl and dexter (Y) and i finished four books hahahaha im a freak (Y). i think by the end of sept i can count my friends with my fingers. depressing shit, the thing about having smart friends is that they tend to always leave you because their brains are too awesome for malaysia :( its not even sept and so many people are gone already, AND NO having smart friends does not mean im smart what kinda of a theory is that seriously. i think when sept comes i will die :( but glad quality time was spent and glad that i could spend time with people who came back from all the different awesome parts of the world and hearing all their crazy stories lol.
AND HUHU :( gonna hope for a smooth start in degree, YES I FINALLY DECIDED ON MY DEGREE. apparently its really hardcore shit hard, because a friend who was in the same accounting class as me in my second sem, came in one intake earlier whos doing the degree now, says ITS DAMN HARD AND IF YOU MISS ONE CLASS YOU WILL DIE BECAUSE ITS SO HARD TO CATCH UP and i believe in everything he says because he's one of the smart people that always ask questions in accounting class that i dont even know what the heck is he asking, too advance for me. so if he says ITS HARD THEN HOW FOR MEEEE :(
walaoz. im really trying to have all the faith in my heart and believe that i can do it. okay just incase you wonder what hardcore shit degree is this, its only accounting and finance hahaha wtf. people always ask wahh nat you doing medicine ah? you doing engineering ah? haha no its only a&f. okay provided i dont fail my stats, macro and calculus and kill myself, ill most probably be doing this degree ARGHHHH. its a UOL degree, and they freaking twin with LSE not really dream school BUT STILL, the chances of going there is like 0.0000001 percent. okay im really trying to have faith in myself because everyone is so discouraging :( EVEN MY FRIEND IN ALEVELS got rejected because they gave some crappy reason which i forgot was what AND SHE GOT STRAIGHT A'S T_T.
all these genius shit people from around the world with bloody calculator brains :( CANNOT USE CALCULATOR APPARENTLY WHILE DOING GAUSS JORDAN walao wtheck i will die :( :( really hope all goes well, and hope my last holiday to spore before everything starts to boost my kiasu-ness will do some good :( one good thing is that THEY HAVE THREE MONTHS BREAK YAY! thats the first thing i asked the counselor, whens my break hahaha! yes baby i was born this way (Y) gonna plan for bloody perth trip which is supposed to happen this week actually argh and also canada woohoo! if all goes well and if i havent died halfway while doing this course.
okkk, gotta get a grip and watch some phineas and ferb (Y). waseh im so sorry for all the negativity in this post, please dont be discouraged, whoever reads my blog must be really awesome and clever! :)