Of social conventions and dictations

My parents used to warn me about how sometimes the most professional and elite settings are the most dangerous places-- where people dress up in nicely ironed crisped shirts, where the sound of heels clicking as they get louder and creeps behind you without an acknowledgement. The thoughts of people are almost impossible to perceive and the desire of their hearts are beyond your understanding. There is no single wavelength of what you think it is and what it actually is would be on the same frequency. And so that kind of fear instilled in you is what you grow up with and you can only experience this for yourself when the time comes.

I am going to write about this because this is in the moment kind of thing, and the feeling differs as time passes and I want to capture every moment of my feelings --memories and capturing of words are the only thing left of your shadows and past. Before this I was interning at uncle peter’s office, my wonderful pastor a very kind family friend of ours. I was in my own comfort zone. I remembered clearly the first day of work I had lunch with jie Su back then when she was still pregnant with Jerome and everyone I saw in office were familiar faces. Aunty mee lee was sitting behind me, uncle james (which I found out was my neighbour a few doors away after I started working there which saw how ignorant I was in making contact relations) took me home everyday after work, there was krystina, uncle felix and many other people from church which made me felt at home and at ease. I wasn’t sure if people were kind to me because they sympathized a young intern, or because I was so used to addressing our boss uncle peter rather than mr sze. or perhaps they were just genuinely kind which they were to me at the end of the day.

And so I was intending to return there for internship this summer break where I did not have to worry about anything. Instead, out of my sudden hype of wanting to try out something else and experiencing something new, I decided to apply for internship elsewhere. I am completely on my own.

I feel that I have probably learned more in three weeks than what I learned in university for the past nine months. And most of all, I have learned that the things I pick up are not only knowledge confined but are of social etiquettes and norms. Well this applies more to myself and it is not an indication of how it works everywhere.

1) do not be afraid to ask questions no matter how stupid they can be

I was more than anything but fearful to approach people to ask them anything I was unsure of. I did not want to be of trouble. I compiled a report and in corporate terms, ytd stood for year to date, but instead I wrote yesterday. I think we have been ingrained to not ask questions because asking questions is seen to be stupid. But if we never ask, the stupidity of those questions will eventually stupefy us. And if you are still afraid, Google. Googling is the most essential and useful tool of knowledge available to mankind. And yes I am still working on both asking more questions and the fear of asking questions does not disappear overnight.

2) it is okay to not know anything. But learn?

my first week of work I was all wtf is all this omg can somebody just murder me why is this like this why is this like that when is lunch time when can I go home TT but that is the whole thing of internship aint it, to learn. If everyone expects you to know everything, then we would not have to be pain stakingly try to get our degrees to get more painful work after that. But it would help if you willing to learn. Actually, you don’t really have a choice, you have to learn.

3) read up. A lot.

I just found out that Ben Bernanke is the chairman of the Federal Reserve, the Central Bank of the United States. That explains how much of an ignorant I am.

4) we try not to take offense if people make jokes that may seem offensive. Or is actually offensive

I am not sure how I should put this, but sometimes ignorant is bliss. In some cases at least. Do not let your day be ruined by something so insignificant. The things that come out from a person’s mouth reflects a person in almost every way and it projects their intellectuality.

5) when don’t know what to reply, just give a neutral one.

Sometimes when colleagues comment on things like, this is shit, or what idiocy is this and I am not sure what to say I just shrug and smile. I think it is way better than giving a comment which ends up a little unwise?

6) formal reply matters

people in the office really really really love to email. Really. Emailing is the in thing now. Even if you sit right in front of that person. if there is one thing I have to adapt is probably when I am replying emails. Personally I love to show enthusiasm when replying mails or texts and even when answering calls because it projects your tone that people cannot see. It’s the least representation of yourself. And so usually my email will go like this:

HI BLABLABLA! How are you doing! Is everything good! J hope all is well! I was just wondering if it is okay for you to send the attachment I need by the end of the day? So sorry for your trouble and thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

But now at work my email is just like this;

Dear Blablabla,

Hi, hope you are having a lovely day. Please email the attachment by the end of the day, thank you.

Nat.

I really need to get used to it. People at work just need that formality. Although this may differ in various places.

7) have fun!

I don’t know how much fun is everyone having in uni but I am glad this is a current substitute from school. Can live in denial until results comes out. Be that intern that when you leave your colleagues will say oh no he/she is gone, no one is going to help me do this/do that.

Hopefully greater news come forward in the next few weeks :D

On a brighter note, its a FRIDAY WHATS UP!!!!!! Everyone in office is booking tickets to watch the dark knight and the only thing I want to do is go home, eat dinner and chill with family and the bobby boy. Not sure if I am 20 or they are 20.