perhaps

every year, i really look forward to sports day. and perhaps this is the last year i can look forward too :/ i mean, of course its hectic and all, and i cant believe im saying this but, im really gonna miss high school :/ im super attached to things that i care about and love.

i have a super big ego, because i simply just dont like to lose. i mean, as in, in any events i take part in. because it feels pretty stupid to enter a competition without the intention of winning. thats what i felt yesterday.

but i did talked to my dad in the car, and he told me that the olympics motto is, not to win, but to participate.and he told me that, being out there, you're already one of the best, so even if you lose, its alright.

and i prayed really hard asking God for strengh and peace and energy, and i prayed that if it is His will, let me win. i know what i want and what seems to be the best for me, which is winning every event, but i can only see whats best for me tmr, and not for the rest of my days. THUS! You decide whats best for me (:

and i didnt win my individuals, but i did win my relay! (: my lane sucks, but im not gonna use it as an excuse for me to say thats the reason why i didnt win. everyone's lane was wet, and every other lane other than mine seems better to me, because i always tend to think the grass is always greener the other side.

i've got great competitors this year like mei yin, sze yin and sze yun, which were very encouraging, and they were so nice to me, and we just kept motivating each other to do our best, because sports day is definetly more than just about winning :) i mean winning is important, haha, but thts not the main purpose of it.

i was disappointed i didnt win, but if i look back to this day in future, im gonna be super proud of myself. initially i felt that sports was gonna take up so much of my time, which it did, but i will never regret a single minute of it. i feel like a total winner in life, which is exactly what God wants me to feel, and what God wants each and everyone of you to feel! (:

everyone in red is a true winner, and you're gonna be real winner in life. life is always awesome for people who dares to be passionate for what they love and giving out everything they've got for it.

and dearest chuen and derrick, im super proud of both of you too! and JUN AND SOONYI! :D :D :D IM SO SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUU! :) YOU GUYS GOT WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF HARDWORK AND PASSION! :D CONGRATS! :)

sometimes, feeling happy is not because you acheived something yourself, but because the people that matter most to you acheieved something as well, and IM SO HAPPY FOR BOTH OF YOU (:

so after this what? its back to intergrating equations and finding out about how your locomotion and support system works in your body and how to imbangkan your accounts which is not one of the very strong areas in my life :/

but let us all continue to encourage one another, when i mean encourage, i mean help and motivate each other even as we sit for one of the most important exams so far. encourage doesnt mean scaring each other btw.

i cut my leg while running, and alex says im gonna get tetanus ._. i dont wanna be paralyze for life. im kidding la. im kidding as in im kidding about the part im gonna get paralyze, not the part where alex told me im gonna get tetanus ==''

okay then,
my bed needs me, nights (:

just a random thought, i want my grandparents to be at my wedding :)