trying to get

all my shit together, i dont think i have slacked so much for the past year, the thought of me slacking is literally in my head every second and the guilt is about to explode anytime i swear. god, why am i so lazy :( i've got so much shit to do, and i dont even know wth i've been doing in front of the computer for the past 3 hours. been sleeping super early too, not maximizing my day enough, ultimate bullshit.

anyway, i stumbled across this article http://videogum.com/241512/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time-500-days-of-summer/franchises/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time/ i seriously went wtf at this author. i was so pissed when i read it, on how insensitive this gabe author is on this movie. he/she i dont know what gender this absurd author is and i dont give a shit, but ( lets just pretend she is a 'she') her points are baseless and full of crap. first of all, i dont think she even watches that much of a movie to nominate 500 days of summer as the worst movie of all time, seriously man. the happening? what bullshit show was that? there are tons of other stupid movies out there like the whole scary movie chain, and i doubt how much she actually goes to the cinema. and wth is wrong with working in a card making company? and what is wrong with tom saying he hopes to meet the one and settle down one day, WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT? stupid critic, does she not want to settle down either, unless she's some bitter idiotic person who does not believe in getting married but that doesnt mean she should insult it grrrr. and seriously wth is wrong with tom and summer liking the smiths? is she so anti the smiths or did she date one of the band members of the smiths before and things got ugly or what. of course i can believe that both of them do like the smith, so what, everyone who shares common interest is lying la is it -_________-

omg im so freaking pissed right now. yeahp, i cannot take people insulting things i love especially if they're reasonings are all bullshit, even if the whole world says it sucks, im gonna stick by it, i think once i believe that something is worth enough to love and worth fighting for, that believe isnt gonna change. like in general, not only about 500 days of summer lol wtf.

have to finish stupid articles and my stupid sim card isnt working, bloody maxis! be more efficient please my god, sent it there this morning until now also havent work yet wth man, i cant stand inefficient people! kk chillings :)

kayyyy, stats zzzzzzz :( have a wonderful weekend everyone, while i freaking tabulate datas which i dont give a shit about -_-

she's got you high

and you dont even know yet :) -500 days of summer soundtrack;

im sort of early for my macro class today wooohoo! happy! :) thats because all macro classes are at 830 :( and its so early :( and today im pretty early, i reached at 835? :p hahaha yay! but it was tutorials and im freaking out for macro quiz this sat! :( i hope gdp will be kind to me :( need to revise macro already, noooo time :( i know right, got time to blog, no time to macro, hahaha oh baby i was born this way :D

im gonna blog about my successful market outing with my mum lol wtf, it was a freaking success, though i doubt i would ever be going to the morning market in the future by myself, because, its too early! omg by the time i wake up, it will probably be noon :p and i dont know how to freaking converse in cantonese! my mum was getting ingredients for soup, and she needed some chicken parts which i still dont know what is it yet until now, zzzz im probably gonna get chicken fillet or fish fillet from cold storage next time if i need to cook them, my mum said poor husband and kids and she hopes i have an understanding mother in law wtf lol :( i cannot imagine slaughtering a chicken, yeah i know im such a chicken, i'll probably cry and convert into a vegetarian after that.

and i bought the best soya bean at ss2! :D so happy! the place there is usually so crowded and so packed, and if you get to buy the soya bean, its like major success to me! if you get to buy the tao foo fa, its success beyond comprehension, cos there is probably 1009 people queuing up, and guess whatt! i bought both! and i was the last customer that the uncle sold his tao foo fa to! hahahahaha! :D so happy! i know i get happy for the silliest stuffs, but hahaha yay! but he was kinda mean to the uncle next to me cos the uncle asked if there were any more tao foo fa, and the uncle who sold it said you want you come tomorrow la and gave this face -_-. poor uncle who wanted to but them! :(

dont bother making space for people who dont wanna stay :)

okiess, have to get back to moral, my god i have quiz later. moral is such a stewpid subject arghh! its ridiculous and so unmoral, i dont even know how it makes a moral person, arghhhh such a waste of my time, and its 4-530 summore omg massive jam and massive people going home can die :( emo!

and thank you aunty bonita, that was a pretty good awakening bonding session for 20 mins :)

when the devil throws lemons at you, God himself will make lemonades for you, amen :)

cant wait for the weekend to finish my two way overdue articles for magazine, and zzzz ! :)

500 days

of summer :)

okay initially i thought it was a movie about summer as in the season summer, but it didnt make sense, cos where got such thing as 500 days of summer? theres only 365 days in a year, whole year summer? that would kinda be like in malaysia, but the reviews and rating given were pretty high, so i highly doubt it was a malaysian made movie, and so tada! the girl in the movie itself is called summer, and so they talked about the relationship between her and tom, he's so heart melting :'( :'(

i never thought i would find a movie that would describe my feelings at that moment. like for example, when i was watching fast 5, i felt sleepy, but the movie was so bang bang boom and had no sleepiness feeling at all. or when i was watching mulan 2 the other day at home, i was worried about calculus and the movie was about war, so i have no idea how it relates to calculus :/ the only time i had a relation to a movie was when i watched meet the robinsons when i screwed up accounts in high school spm trials :D its not a happy thing, but yay to meet the robinsons!

you know how sometimes when you watch a movie you feel like you're a part of the movie itself? like you see yourself inside the movie and how the character is so similar to you? well that only happens in a few parts for me, or like maybe one or two, but i swear this movie was seriously playing like my life, literally my life. maybe except the sex part and the working part and getting drunk in the bar part. okay maybe not EVERYTHING, but most of it.

and the quotes in there and the things they speak about and the places they went, okay you shall watch it yourself if you wanna find out :) like my heart was going to burst. okay it did kinda burst and so did my tear gland, its damn sad la okay! eventhough it was a happy scene, i dont know if it was a happy or sad scene to me, but i think it was more sad than happy? :(

overall im realy glad im watching it at the right time, and im so happy i did! :D it was a brilliant movie for me, i think if i watched it any other days it wouldnt have so much impact on me :) its the bomb im so happy, eventhough my eyes are swollen like crazy, i have to stop being so emotional about movies and books i just cant help it :(

been sleeping so early and not doing anything, i feel so guilty :( but sleep is essential, happy friday everyone!

watch 500 days of summer! :D

one of those

everyday when i leave the house for college the one thing i look forward to no matter how sleepy or tired or cranky i am is that, i get to come home soon :)

if there was one thing i wish i was really good at,

the pen is mightier than the sword.

okies, i planned to start with a really deep quote and sound all like an author in this whole post haha wtf, but nahh, i cant keep up, cos all the las and wth and seriously man will start popping out :D if there was one thing i always hoped i would be really good at, it would be to write. i mean, i would want other things too, like, be musically inclined, or be really artistic, draw nice buildings or dresses like how i see everyone else does it zzzzz, cook like a pro, jealous to the max, but as much as those are good, i would prefer to have a wider vocab and write better.

but unfortunately i dont. if i were to spend my time reading some really sophisticated essay, i think i would probably spend half the time being awed by it without knowing what the writer is trying to convey :( i really really envy people who can write well, getting their message conveyed in the most attracting way. like it leaves an impact for readers who read them and wanting more and more it of it.

i think generally if a person can write well, they can express their feelings better too. like for example, when my mum asks how was the exam, my standard answer would be, okayla. but seriously right, wth is okayla? -_- she might as well not ask me because it doesnt tell her anything. difficult, easy, killer? or when people ask what do you think of the movie nat? i would probably say, okayla, not bad, got hot actor/no hot actor. so shallow. sometimes, i feel like when people ask me, they might as well read the movie reviews -_-

thats probably one of the reasons why i really love reading. uh no, not my text books, bloody hell which reminds me of my calculus work damn it :( i think im starting to regret taking calculus, because seriously wth. its like digging my own grave and inviting everyone else to dance on it after that -_- i freaking hated add math, but tadah here i am counting the rate of change! okies anyway, screw it shall resolve it laters zzz. back to the point about reading. everytime i read any novels or stories or articles, even all those gossip magazines :p, i feel like they help me to convey what i feel or what i want to say. its an avenue for me to read what i wanna say out. crazy right, i dont even think it makes sense, but reading any novels or stories which have words to cater what i wanna say makes me so, happy :) hate all these good authors who can write and express what they want to describe :( i wouldnt mind spending the whole day at a bookshop :)

i secretly dream of going to prestigious unis like missouri, or yale, and be amongst all the genuinely good writers, that would make me so, uhm i dont know the right words to say it, see get my point?! :( like maybe, at ease and contented? :) i dont see it in reality, but i would wanna go there one day as a non-student, and soak in all the beautiful words that i would never dream or imagine or writing myself :)

Im Chuck Bass

even Europeans must know what that means.

i've been watching too much gossip girl lately which i should stop already argghh but its just too nice :( and i think chuck is one character in the series who always gives me goosebumps and makes me think a lot about, i know right wth :( i cant believe im analyzing a character, seriously :( but i do find him really appealing and mind boggling and so darn attractive. although in the first season and second season i didnt had a sense of liking for him and i actually found him freakishly weird because he always had this evil/rapist/im a ghost look. now that im watching the third season, he is so. i dont know how to put it :( he still has his old habits of being snobbish and egoistic and cool, but there is something in him that changed and that change is so right.

i never understood why people always say i just dont think i can let you into my life because i love you too much and i cant afford to hurt you, especially in all those chinese dramas or even movies, and i'll always wth is this woman's/man's problem, is she blind, gay or just stupid -____- but now that i see chuck's character, i can absolutely relate to it. like how he always pushes people away, because he just cant risk meddling with his feelings. like it is a risk and huge gamble to take, because once you let someone into your life, you're allowing whoever it is, to be a part of everything you are. and sometimes that is just the risk people are not willing to allow happen, as much as the fun can go on, remorse has an equal chance of being involved too.

but im glad chuck did let blair come in eventhough he was reluctant in the beginning. i guess it reminds me that sometimes risks helps us to understand that although things might go bad, you'll only know what happens if you take it. and with just the right amount of balance, damage can be minimized, and we dont have to be stuck in the lifestyle we were brought up in, because we all have a choice to choose who we really want to be.

okay although it might sound crapish and ridiculous, that is what I feel la okay. stupid gossip girl taking up all my time :( had the best afternoon nap for so long because it was raining and yay! so niceeee! i thought it was 7 when i woke up but it was only 5, and stupid raining season only coming in when college has started seriously man :( but its okay, i shall be try being happy knowing that there is always a possibility is will rain at night and i can enjoy the cool weather too! yay! :)

i hope all goes well this semester although all my subjects are calculations based, hoping for the best, and everything shall be alright :)

for now. and the days to come :)

we think you're a joke

the kind of feeling when holidays are over and reality hits you in the head that classes will commence and results of all the labor you've put in for the last four months will finally be known.

the kind of feeling when you thought you progressed well enough and you've made advancement and that you've already moved forward to better things ahead. the feeling that you thought you did and when the past comes back to haunt you telling you that you've been standing on the same spot the whole time, not moving an inch.

the kind of feeling when you really want to fix things and help yourself feel better knowing that you cannot feel like this any longer because you dont wanna look back regretting not maximising the best you had when you were younger only to regret later on when you dont have the opportunity anymore.

the kind of feeling when it hurts but there is no instant cure to it like how a panadol can cure a headache in an hour just like how it just did to mine.

the kind of feeling when you know that your head is telling you the right thing but your heart keeps telling you the opposite and you are torn between two directions and not at ease.

the kind of feeling when you know you did your best and if anyone ones to be a part of you, they will give everything to be a part of it, regardless how difficult it is because nothing is too difficult for them.

the kind of feeling when you know this is the last time you ever want to feel like this, because it not only robs a part of you, it robs your soul and everything you believed in.

no, it isnt a hyperbole.