if not now, when

it has been a busy week, so much things to rush through and so much catching up to do on work because everything is so lagged. had wonderful dinner with elyas boy yesterday, he's such a clever, loving and wonderful 4 year old :) we had mashed potatoes, and sausages, and fried rice, macaroni, and so much food :) and the funny thing is haflway while we were eating, he asked me to write his name on the paper cup, and i asked him what else did he want me to write, and he said, can you draw a heart for me and write my mummy's name inside? :) and subsequently after that he asked me to draw three more hearts, one for daddy, jemmi, and esais with their names on it :) so cute :) he's going to grow up into one loving boy, cant wait for him to grow up :)

and i submitted my essay for my college yearbook and magazine, and i dont think i have been more encouraged in so long by the reply i got back :) my lecturer replied my email and she said i can write really well, and it was very cohesive, and now im gonna write one more article for the upcoming issue :) encouragement does wonders and its great to have somebody believe in you, and especially for someone to believe in you in the things that you want to do great in :) and so today when someone told me nat, you say youre awesome and you can do it so frequently that it doesnt mean much anymore cos youre saying it to everyone. but you know what, youre wrong :) when i say youre awesome or youre really clever or you can do it, i mean with all my heart than anyone could know. if i cannot mean it with all my heart, i'll just say i hope to hear good news from you, all the best :) its not that i have the rights to judge whether you can do it well or not, but its hard for me to give my highest hopes because as much as im cruel to not give my highest hopes, it would be even more cruel to give someone what i dont mean and say what i dont mean either.

made 2 wonderful discoveries! people who i thought were generally nice, turned out to be not so nice after all. you know how when someone jokes, there has to be a limit to it because really, no one wants an offensive joke? yeahh, im not angry or disappointed or anything, but im so glad i discovered it! like after all these times, and i always thought yeah they are so nice, and i wished everyone were as nice as them, but you know what, im glad i dont anymore. amazing discovery of how people you thought you knew so well, isnt what you know after all. and second, amazon! been going to amazon a lot lately, really bad :( saw a perry messenger bag, and i want it so badly! but its too ex, its 20usd and 10usd for shipping, too ex :( bad thing about this website is that they are all ex after you convert them, and you need someone thats staying in the States to get it for you, so then it will be cheaper :(

ahh so much calculus to do, i dont think i did so well in quiz. wednesday is judgement day and i hope i can finish memorizing all the formula by sat. cant wait for mid terms to finish. got my gossip girl, grey, and dexter waiting for me, so tempted but i shall not since summer is coming and all production stops then, so gotta divide equally all the episodes i have. been watching lots of burn notice too, this is bad :(

and im braces free! :) :) so happy :)

have a good weekend! dont think i ever felt like my week was so long, but it is. but got so much work, so i'll be drained out by the end of the day.

weekends are the best :)

trying to get

all my shit together, i dont think i have slacked so much for the past year, the thought of me slacking is literally in my head every second and the guilt is about to explode anytime i swear. god, why am i so lazy :( i've got so much shit to do, and i dont even know wth i've been doing in front of the computer for the past 3 hours. been sleeping super early too, not maximizing my day enough, ultimate bullshit.

anyway, i stumbled across this article http://videogum.com/241512/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time-500-days-of-summer/franchises/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time/ i seriously went wtf at this author. i was so pissed when i read it, on how insensitive this gabe author is on this movie. he/she i dont know what gender this absurd author is and i dont give a shit, but ( lets just pretend she is a 'she') her points are baseless and full of crap. first of all, i dont think she even watches that much of a movie to nominate 500 days of summer as the worst movie of all time, seriously man. the happening? what bullshit show was that? there are tons of other stupid movies out there like the whole scary movie chain, and i doubt how much she actually goes to the cinema. and wth is wrong with working in a card making company? and what is wrong with tom saying he hopes to meet the one and settle down one day, WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT? stupid critic, does she not want to settle down either, unless she's some bitter idiotic person who does not believe in getting married but that doesnt mean she should insult it grrrr. and seriously wth is wrong with tom and summer liking the smiths? is she so anti the smiths or did she date one of the band members of the smiths before and things got ugly or what. of course i can believe that both of them do like the smith, so what, everyone who shares common interest is lying la is it -_________-

omg im so freaking pissed right now. yeahp, i cannot take people insulting things i love especially if they're reasonings are all bullshit, even if the whole world says it sucks, im gonna stick by it, i think once i believe that something is worth enough to love and worth fighting for, that believe isnt gonna change. like in general, not only about 500 days of summer lol wtf.

have to finish stupid articles and my stupid sim card isnt working, bloody maxis! be more efficient please my god, sent it there this morning until now also havent work yet wth man, i cant stand inefficient people! kk chillings :)

kayyyy, stats zzzzzzz :( have a wonderful weekend everyone, while i freaking tabulate datas which i dont give a shit about -_-

for what

i think i went thru so much shit this year that it opened my eyes to how monotonous things were and how safe and protected i was for the past 17 years of my life. hahaha, lucas scott you were so darn right, its when you are really tested you find out who you are, i wanna watch one tree hill season seven damn it :(

standard conversation in the car everyday :)

jerome: jie jie natalie, i know you got one dog right? *grins*

nat: what? what dog? i got no dog also *grins back*

jerome: nooo. you got one dog! i know i know. what is his name?

nat: haaa. what dog , i only got cat laa, rome.

jerome: i know you got one dog right jie jie natalie, his name is bobby right! :D

jerome why you so cute one :)

i honestly dont know why i even gave a shit, because honestly what have you even truly gave a shit about. shit you.

happy friday!

:)

precautions

im going to use finish all the cheque books in the office by the rate of cheque cancellation i am making -___-

its not my fault okay. im trying my best not to wet the cheque, and sometimes i write the wrong figures and the franking machine failed me twice :( thank God for my super patient colleagues yay! :) the guilt and i feel super bad level increases everytime i realise i screwed up when i key in wrong stuff and omg la the figures on the list are huge! i have to calculate like ten times on excel to make sure i dont count wrongly and then i realised ohh right, they already tabulated the overall sum for me -___-

and i nearly called the head department uncle. shyteeee :(

and he never smiles :/ why not :(

its super amazing how people mantain long distance relationships, just the other day liesa and i went all weak in the knees and awwh when we saw one both of our school mates who happened to have been together for four years , and one of them is in a totally different continent all together and yet they are still great and it just left me so awwh for a little while. sometimes when i read books about how people cannot be together because of things like wars or because they have to leave faraway on a job or because of all the circumstances of the world, its just sad :(

im going to make sure i teach my children to say goodbye after the end a conversation on the phone regardless if the other person says it or not.

inception :) ever since titanic, this is the only show i've watched leornado dicaprio in, and it was long and slow people like me had to take time to understand a little bit, and i still dont get it, but it was good :)

things you do for the people you love :)

brisk

had the scariest potong dream ever -__-

hahaha, usually like in those movies where the people takao on the roof and then suddenly the good person falls off the roof, nearly, not fall down down and die, like nearly then suddenly one hero will appear out of nowhere and suddenly ngam ngam ho just in time catch the person's hand and TADA, SAFE! :D clap hands, feels happy! :)

and tada, i was in the scenario. but cut off the takao part and all the drama, the dream started with me falling hahaha, super funny :) sorry, not very funny because i was on the verge of dying, and i was too kancheong so i didnt notice who was pulling me, but then i was screaming my lungs off saying OMG PLEASE DONT LET ME GO, I HAVENT FEED BOBBY YET WTH -___- which the truth is, i never feed my dog, BECAUSE my dad wants to feed him all the time, and yes. so anyway, my hands which sweat at the rate of how fast bobby eats when i give him treats which is VERY FAST, and. i slipped! :(

but! as i was falling, i quickly try to safe myself in the midst of screaming like crazy, and before i knew it, i landed on this dinosaur from meet the robinsons WTH . and i didnt die hahahaha. i never die in my dreams hahaha yay! :D gay stupid dream but quite funny hahaha.

and. to in addition to that, i dreamed that there was a musical where they played meet the robinsons songs and hans zimmer's pearl harbour! dream come true to the max yay yay yay! :D

liesa liesa (: hehh. nothing :)

i kinda like eenie meenie hahahaha. catchy song :p

and TOHHUAJIE! omg, hahaha! i just read the school magazine and your biggest fear in 10 years time is that your friends will all get married and they wont have time for you? HAHAHA.

:)

so much

i just need to remember to be logical. which isnt exactly my strong point but logical it is. nat, logical, logical, logical, logical, logical.

because being logical is going to put you far far away from what meddles with your heart, your emotions.

its logical for it not to be. logic logic logic.

i found my accounts trials paper which i failed :) liesaaa, remembered how depressed i was failing accounts and how i spent my whole day watching meet the robinsons and listening to broken by lifehouse :) and how after that during physics with ravi which was absolute crap everyone brought in physics reference books and we brought accounts and malay and mod math books to the lab :p

liesaaa! NEXT WEEK. :( :( :( :( omg. my heart is beating so fast, it might just stop :x

you're in my arms,

and all the world is calm

the music playing on for only two,

so close together, and when i'm with you,

so close to feeling alive.

such a nice song, makes me wanna put on a dress and wear nothing on my feet and dance and dance all night :)

i miss one tree hill :/

have a great weekend (:

pocket

dreamt i was cursed by an evil evil lady :( and you know how everytime you want to continue your nice dream after you wake up? yeah for once i didnt and i did -____- tell me why la :(

so anyway yes, i've completed the chapter in my life of working before college starts :) and, a part of me feels like mann, i dont really wanna leave, but another part of me tells me that its time for a good break before everything gets thrown to me in the face.

hahaha, yesterday a teacher wasnt feeling well, so mad and me took over this 6 year old class. and i didnt know most of them, so i had to ask one of the boy in the class to show me who is who. then we came across this girl, and he told me. ohhhh, teacher, she is my ex. -______________-

and i thought i heard wrongly, so i asked, she's your wax? what wax? and he said, noo, she's my ex. as in like ex girlfriend. you know? and gave me the dont tell me you dont know what is ex man teacher. ahem. hahaha, wow. what progress we have man really, either im really outdated or they are just really fast hahaha.

and, i was just watching some videos on ice skating at the winter olympics, and woahhh. i've always been fascinated on how these skaters can actually even stand up without falling down. like really. hahaha. and to spin and turn on ice, i cant even do it on ground. yess because im a noobie hahaha. and there was this video where this two people were practicing, and the girl fell down, and the guy gracefully picked her up, so so sweet :')

its been years since i last skate, and its not even skating la really. hahaha. i was just standing at the side, and steph was saying come on nat, come on! just come, nothing one! and i gave her plenty of excuses like, its okay, its too crowded, which at that time got like 20 people only la seriously hahah, and i said ohh wait, im looking at the hot guy skating, which, uhhh, is a small kid of five, that had more guts than me, omg memalukan to the max -__-

she had to drag me, hahaha, and i grabbed on to her so hard we both fell down hahaha :) and remember the weird bump i had on my finger steph? hahaha. before i die right, i would wanna learn how to skate. no need until like super pro, but it would be nice to learn a few steps at least :)

hahaha and definitely before i die, i have to pick up a music instrument. i always thought that the piano was designed for the guys, omg please dont shoot me girls who play piano, im just saying. girls who can play the piano rocks too okayyyy, just as much as the guys :) i have to watch a live orchestra, and not just the ones in youtube, because its amazing how impactful the music can be, and how everything just blends in right.

i cant believe i spent my saturday doing absolutely nothing, congrats nat, congrats! -__- celebrating emeline's and my dad's birthday and mother's day together tonight though :) hahaha super lazy family, cramp everything into one hahaha x) thank God mine isnt near any of my sisters and parents :D

have a great weekend :)

so why dont we go, somewhere only we know

tada

wahh. my previous post scared the shyte out of me.

i wasnt thinking straight yesterday :/ but everything is coolness now :D

i had a blessed sunday! it was great at church, and spent some awesome quality time. thank youu su and kor juanners :)

happy monday!

not now

worst weekend of the century.
my neighbour's son is screaming his lungs off and im trying to sleep.

i dont give a single shit about what you think. you dont have the rights to even judge anyone. what was i even thinking -.-

if i could choose a villain i wanna be today, i wanna be bowler hat guy from meet the robinsons.

No! Everyone will tell you to let it go and move on, but dont! Instead, let it fester and boil inside of you! Take these feelings and lock them away. Let them fuel your actions. Let hate be your ally, and you will be capable of wonderful, horrid things. Heed my words Goob, dont let it go.
bowlerhatguy.


but i dont wanna be.

i need to cry.

shine

somedays we choose to give up, somedays we fight with our lives.

but winners are never quitters, and quitters are never winners.

be a quitter. or be a winner.

maybe we'll look back and say it was nothing years from now.

but fear shall not take us down.

man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.
zig zaglar.


it isnt our battle, but God's.

get up and shine!



mistakes are a fact of life. it is the response to error that counts.
nikki giovanni

ask and you shall receive

im having the apetite of a pregnant lady. and im sleeping at the rate of how much a baby sleeps.

anyway. its been a sleeping week. i cant remember much except for the sleeping part. heh. *guilty*

i just feel like saying this. thus here i go!


so yes, anyway, never let anyone make you feel like you're never good enough, or you dont deserve what you deserve or you were never meant to be better than them. never think you're second best, and never ever ever let anyone make you feel like a loser in life.

i think sometimes the reason why we dont do well is because we allow those thoughts to be a part of us, and we eventually believe in them. and we think that we can never make it. but you know what, thats not true. you've already lost half the battle if you allow to yourself to think so.

i believe we all have amazing greatness in us, just that sometimes we forget. and yes, thank you God for reminding me!

omg why do i sound so emo. no im not! hahaha. its just one of those deep talk thing :p

haha, have a great sunday! :)

it's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

supposedly a funny quote but i dont know how is it suppose to be funny :/

never

i dont care.