its almost the end

its finally december omg wtheck, and just two days ago when i was turning the calendar from november to december, i kinda, sort of, a little cried :/ emotional shit i know, wtf turn calender also can cry :(

2010 is coming to an enddd, and so are exams coming to the crappy beginning, starts on a saturday wtf, what exams start on a saturday, yeah my exams. and the best part, ends on a the next saturday, oh wonderful! there goes two awesome fridays which will be spent im sure not on studying too, my will of studying kinda died, and it sucks :/ no more passion and so called fire wtf, hahaha, unlike high school when the passion was there, sort of :)

i dont think i can handle dramas anymore in 2011, and i just wanna see other people's drama, hahaha take a break, but everyday in 2011 is gonna somehow come back to 2010 and now the quote the past will haunt you down hahaha wtf will be experienced, i practically wrote down almost everything that happened everyday, the day i went to work, the day i met bryan cutiee pie <3 <3 <3, the day bryan finally spoke to me, the first words bryan said to me, which is natolwee, i want milkmilk :) sighhh, the day i went for field trips, the day i gossiped with aunty bonita and made her my best buddy in kindy, the day i went to the effing not a help at all education fair, the day i took my driving exam, the days where i stayed up at night and talked till late on the phone, spm results, and almost every other significant awesome, happy, sad, funny days, which happened so fast and crazy.

and my only hope now is to finish my exams, and. sleeeeeep :) and wait for chinese new year, i dont care about christmas, i dont feel anything during christmas unfortunately, i mean is happy and all, but i dont :D :D :D like how i :D :D :D for cny.

cant believe my sister is in form 4 next year, :') can cry :) so big already.

i hope for everything good to be brought forward next year, and i hope to find back a part of something i lost this year, and go on a holiday, which im crossing my fingers for :)


it sucks when your capabilites are limited by the amount of resources your have, like how some people have no money to go to top unis because they charge fees that cost 50 times the amount of the money they pay for their house, or how some people think they can do anything just because they have money, and i cant believe you, of all people, you're one of the most intellectual friend i have, would say its just too bad that they dont have money to study they like and i do its such a pity, when you have no money, you might as well forgo your brains. were you even in your right mind.


wtf i think i screwed up computing :x

independence

is the best, you dont depend on anyone, nobody depends on you and all is awesome :)

go back

omg :( my heart hurts :(

like i could do anything

im suppose to be studying right now. but :( life sucks.

so anyway, i bought my count duckula duck on farmville, and its the most worth it investment i have ever made, since it cost me 14 farmville cash, 14 usd? but noo, the fv cash just accumulates as you go up a higher level, unless you purchase them with your credit card wtf, and its hardwork of clicking and harvesting, but its so darn cute and it actually has a black cape and a vampire teeth sticking out, and it will move its cape towards its beak (is it called a beak?) and does this cunning laugh, sexy to the max, cutie pie duckyyy, i lovee you!

i cant believe im having my finals in lesss than a month wth, did i not just enrol into college like yesterday -.- i barely remember what happened, and. i cant believe this sounds so emo shit, but i dont even know what im doing :( feels like i just want to get thru this, and people keep saying college years are the best years of your life or is it uni, but for now i dont see whats so great about it besides getting to wear anything i want, and. its modular, so i dont have to remember five years or work for one exam. and. thats all? :/ but i dont have that amount of time to think about it being purposeless, since everything is in such a rush, like a train that charges with full speed, which of trains, unstoppable was not bad, but chris pine isnt hot anymore, sorry.

and i saw this kindy boy and he said NATALIEEEEEEEEE! and came running like i havent seen him for ages, omg, lucky i never cry :( and he started telling me about emily and edward and im so outdated, its the new trains in t&f , never ending new collections, con parents money only, which i will never fall for in the future, never say never right haha. anyway, the thing about kids enthusiasm is that they are never afraid to show it, and they mean it with all their heart, sincere and transparent. when they love you, they really do, like how i see them loving their friends, which is quite a rare occasion, because most of the time they just argue on whether ben 10 is cooler or thomas and friend is better, but when they do, they mean it. i miss bryan :(

had the most productive friday at liesa's place, i think we didnt stop talking from 10 till 5, except when we were watching a walk to remember, and my heart was about to burst with tears, because that is one of the most probably sincere love story ever written, every movie now is filled with sex and sex and more sex, compare dear john to a walk to remember please, the movie didnt even follow the book wtf, the book was the bomb, and channing tatum totally saved the movie -.-

just read one of the most sincere birthday cards i have ever received, and i know you didnt like to say much, but thank you for making me feel like i can do anything, and i hope you're at your best now too :)

have a goodie weekend, GOD GIVE ME THE POWER TO STUDYYY! :(

trains and time

is it me or am i just especially tired today zzZZz. cant wait to go home from college to my nice comfy bed, likey yay yay! :)

so anyway, since im taking public transport to college somedays, when i dont have the same timing with my class and aggy's class, thank you for fetching me home aggy! :) i think, it sort of opened my eyes to alot of things and new discoveries, hahaha. public transports take up a lot of time, because sometimes buses have to go all the way to different places and im like eh! didnt we cross this place already? omg did i fall asleep, or what, but mainly the bus is just making one round like in the whole ttdi, and with my awesome geographical skills, i obviously suck in recognizing roads, which i inherited from my dad, hahaha :)

and people in malaysia, are psycho! aggresiveness as if like there is free supply of food for the rest of their lives waiting for them in the bus if they get in first, they push and they dont queue up and they cut queue and they are rude. the first time when i was waiting for the bus, there were just a few aunties and some working people, and i thought all of them seemed very polite , but when the bus came tada! like craziness please. but i guess its sort of survival skills, and you sort of have to take care of yourself because other people wont kind of thing. so i guess my survival skills kinda improved :D i think. hahaha.

and im extremly thankful that we have two cars, thank you God! some people have to take buses even on weekends or whenever they need to go anywhere because cars are so freaking expensive in malaysia with their stupid taxes, DAMN HIGH TAXES, and cars in overseas are so much more affordable, MUCH MORE AFFORDABLE. and especially older people who have to take buses, i've seen quite a few, and it really breaks my heart because sometime people wont even stand up for them WTF. stupid citizens, either their blind or else, they ought to most probably be heartless shit, screw you asses! or pregnant ladies, especially since buses are shaky and unstable :(

i really need to start learning how to drive, because, its a disgrace, really. i mean what is there to possibly be scared about right on the road, except for crazy drivers, and scary roads, and accidents hahah, im scared :( i need this motivation list like, how i cannot depend on my future husband to fetch me everywhere, or how i wont be rich enough to afford a driver, and how i need to pick my kids up from school, and all those nonsense excuses to boost my ego and courage. I NEED TO DRIVE.

farmville is taking up alot of my time, but its so darn addictive :( wasting my life on a freaking virtual farm!

two more days to friday, oh so happy yay, until the lecturer just mentioned freaking seconds ago, IT HAD TO BE RUINED with an extra replacement class, WHY LA WHY :( heh though its just 11-1230. BUT STILL LA WHY. wake up early, take bus and die :( my happy friday is gone forever, cruelty!

absence makes the heart grow fonder? my ass.

please dont justify, oh wait, it never did.

25

just opened fb and i saw this 25 random things about yourself, quite cute! :) funny things about friends you dont know about, and i tired doing it, but i thought it would be nicer to post it here rather than fb, lazy to tag people, as usual :p although noone reads it, but it's just for fun :)

1) having God in my life helps me to love and forgive easier :)

2) Meet the Robinsons is my favourite movie in the entire world, and always will be.

3) i love chinese new year, not because there are lots of money coming in to fill my wallet lol, but because i get to spend time with my grandparents and the rest of my family.

4) i grew up with one tree hill, and i will never get bored watching it :)

5) red is my favourite color

6) the i really mean im sorry and i would want to make it up to you means more than the im sorry for screwing up part for me.

7) my favourite part of the mall is the bookshop, hahaha! whether im reading the books there dont really matter, just like being there :)

8) my favourite word is to the max, love you to he max, shit you to the max, tired to the max :)

9) i believe that one should always start a text by saying hi or reply a text by saying hi first, it makes a difference.

10) whenever im angry or sad or disappointed about something which i cant possibly amend, i'll drown myself with LOTS work so that i'll sleep straight away when i hit the bed and not think about it.

11) i shall make sure my kids learn a music instrument, unless they dont like it.

12) old people sitting alone during meals, having to say bye to my grandparents everytime we go separate ways, sad movies, books and song make me cry.

13) im afraid of ghosts, lol wtheck hahaha, im afraid to open up to people. like they might just sell all my secrets away if i offend them in anyway :/

14) im quite kiasu at times heh .

15) i dont see a point in expressing what i feel about it if it isnt going to get any better after doing so.

16) i love my high school friends, some :p

17) i type all my texts in small alphabets unless im pissed off lol.

18) only pyjamas are allowed on the bed hahaha, no other clothes, dirty :(

19) sometimes when people are sad and i cant find the words to say to them, it upsets me in a way.

20) the person on text and the person on the phone and the person i see physically should be the same kind of person they really are inside.

21) im damn scared of driving :(

22) i think if you love and care for someone, you mum, your dad , your sisters, or whoever, you take an effort to find out what they like and love, because it matters to them, and they matter to you.

23) before i die, i must attend a lifehouse concert :)

24) im afraid of spinning things, like the fan :/

25) having bobby in our family is awesome! :)

make your own list, i would wanna see! :)

have a great sunday! :)

trust me, i tried.

growing up

omg a boy in kindy is gonna celebrate his birthday and i used to teach him and he is so adorable omgg! :') his name is chi joo, and he'll tell me super alot of stories although he's like, only three and he'll cry to the max everyday in school and challenge of my life man, train my arms, now got muscle already, everyday carry and pat him on the back :')

im so excited to get his present, and i was at curve the other day and i thought that maybe thomas and friends got only like a few items la right, but there is a whole section on books, tumblers, files, bags, food containers, wth -__- so i totally failed to decide, because all look super cute okay, and now i dont know how. last time where we got bother what bottle we use one -___-

the joys of seeing kids grow up, which is not entirely true because i cant imagine when bryan grows up :( not like he still remembers me, waste all my freaking effort of sneaking him a few chocolate cookies which he loves, and giving him his milk extra early, damn bias i know hahaha, and giving him his favourite bed all the time, must be blue color one, if green color, he will switch the bed with the other blue one, omg so freaking cute :') and the blanket must be the same one, why are kids so smart now, i dont even remember how my blanket looks like when i was younger and not like i really cared heh :)

beginning of this year was the best time of my life, i was super contented with everything i had, although it was damn freaking tiring, but it was good :)

and so will it be forevermore :)

creeps

work work work.

charlie st cloud was a disappointment :(

scared to the max :(

furthest

i should be totally studying and doing something more beneficial but. its friday come on, what an excuse :p

i was planning to save this for the end of the year, but there are too many things that has happened, and i just need to write this all down so that i dont forget, since now that i cant even differentiate what events happened on what year and i used to be so good at this, people will tell me different events that happened and i could just YESYES I REMEMBER! but now, its just. uhhh. when? last year? or was it when we were form four. so yes, writing is important, people! :) helps you remember. or more for people who like me who cant remember a thing :/

1) the new covenant church

this is one of the most significant and best thing that has happened in my life :) i learned so much about God in a different way, and i felt so renewed and changed. hearing the grace message was something so fresh and amazing, and my sisters are in church too now, and im so glad for everything. although i had some complications in the beginning, it was God's goodness that helped much, and. i do miss youth group which i grew together for five wonderful years. but all is good, because God is good! :)

2) kindergarten and kids

kindergarten was, amazing. this is my first job, whoohoo! and i have no regrets although it was super tiring, i finally had a taste of working with kids, and they are the cutest more sincere beings you can ever imagine. i learned about the different latest cartoons on market, like, thomas and friends, ben ten, strawberry shortcake, dora the explorer and tons of others. i must be super outdated, because the only cartoons i know are only, tom and jerry, powerpuff girls, spongebob squarepants, leaque of super evil, and hahaha the list goes on. i learned how to test the temperature of the milk, wrap the kids in towel, put them to sleep, and laugh and play with them because there are no worries for them everyday :) i met wonderful aunties, wonderful colleagues, modern parents, modern grandparents, modern cars -__- and bryan! :) cutest, more adorable boy in the whole kindergarten! :)

3) tears and wipes

the most tears i have ever shed since i was a baby. fears, sadness, joy, difficulties. and also that kleenex are the best wipes to use, because they are really durable and they are the best quality tissues i have ever used. and trust me, when you need to cry, you just cry, and you'll feel much much better and damn tired also -___- but it trains your stamina to the max! :)

4) driving and wheels

scariest thing i have ever done. ever. maybe not driving. but the exam. although i failed twice. ahem. omgggg. i am still so glad that i finally passed my exam, although im not driving yet for now, guilt guilt :) the driving exam place is. scariness scale from one to ten, its eleven. i will never ever ever ever ever ever ever go there again, until. the day emeline takes her exam. i am glad that my driving instructor isnt calling me anymore, because everytime his number appears, my heart bursts. like literally. but thank god for you, because you never stopped believing in me, although the whole world did then and i am grateful :)

5) cuts, bruises, blood

i've had the most nose bleed this year lol. on the computer table, on my bed, in restaurants, in the shower, which freaked me out, because blood in the shower like those ghost movies :'( i've also experienced period cramps after forever which is omg -____- the time of the month that i wished i was a boy. had red eyes, like a vampire, hahaha scared crystal like crazy. imsonia which is the worst thing that can ever happen to a pig like me which i dont get why is still happening to me -__- and fevers, and flus, but by God's stripe, we are healed! amen!

6) results and scholarships

hahaha spm results! craziness to the max. it was a thursday which i so clearly remembered. and the night before i still went for a movie. and laksa. supposedly my last meal and last movie hahaha :) liesa was freaking out as much as i did, and we were all im going to die, like now. was on the phone the whole night, thank you jianny :) and by morning i was tired out and freaked out, and tada, thank god it wasnt my last meal and last movie hahaha :) scholarship applications, interviews, thank you kor yew juan and jie su :) and despite all the rejection i had, i guess things worked out for the better :)

7) farmville

the best game i started playing and unfortunately also addicted to now, i must cut down!

8) uncertainty and college

decisions on courses which was blardy difficult for me. i went for form six a little while, and i never disliked anything so much my entire life, and im glad its over. so finally that im a settled down now, i hope everything goes well and smooth, for it was one heck of a turbulance period for me, but i survived through it yay!

9) love and bliss

i had the best one month of my life which i will never trade for anything else, because experiencing that changes your life in everything and really, everything. and every aspect, for which we'll only know when it comes which im glad it came. and the many good and trying months after, but despite it all, still good and amazing :)

10) bookshops and bobby

i found the remedy! whenever sadness comes, all i have to is shower bobby lol :) he's such a cutie pie, and he is one of the best thing that has happened in our family, and we love him so much. and bookshops! the children's section and all their wonderful books of kindness and love and princesses and horses and alphabets and numbers make my day :)

11) work and office

working was a eye opener, and not that i did much in the office, but i had good colleagues and now i get a taste of what my parents and other millions of people go through everyday, and it was good! :) im glad that i worked, and i picked up a few things along the way like, learning how to write a proper cheque, franking cheques, using the photostate machine in the most efficient way and to be careful in everything i do, thank god my colleagues arent impatient or evil, because if they were, :s hahaha. its all about making the best out of everything, and hopefully i did :)

12) high school and friends

i miss high school so much, that i had dreams i went to school and i was so happy :) i miss everyone, and im glad nothing much has changed although everyone is in different places now, but when get together comes along, it feels like im back home, and there is no feeling of awkwardness :) next year is going to be difficult when everyone starts leaving, but things always work out in the end, so whatever it is, it will just go and come like it should :)

13) best friend and sisters

liesa :) best friend in the whole world, i wouldnt have survived without you. of all the dramas and craziness, and laughter, you never judged me for once no matter what i went through, and you always always made time for me, no matter how busy you are :) youre just like my sisters, and im glad to have you in my life :) omg like les only -___- hahaha, BUT I DONT CARE, I LOVE YOU BEST FRIEND! <3

and so many other things which i cannot remember for now, but its already september! three more months to the end of 2010, and, sigh. this year has been so fast, i barely had a chance to grasp everything. and now that i have the chance, its just been crazy. the guilt is maximum now, because i have to studyyyy omg :'(

have a good weekend everyone, happy friday! :)

calif

if this is suppose to work for the better then why is there this heavy difficult feeling in my heart.

four days of break! :) gotta finish up all assignments and work which should be done soon! :) showered bobby today, he's so squeaky clean for ten seconds until he decided to roll on the grass, waste all my effort -___-

have a good break everybody!

i want to recognize the undisclosed desires in your heart-muse.

gzzzzz

no class on fridays, no class on fridays! :)

visited the kindy to surprise xianhui, hi xianhui! :D look super cute in her baju kurung hehe :) and i saw the love of my live, bryannnn :') he totally ignored me but he is still so cute, omggg :( and he always sits infront while waiting for parents pick-up, and he helped to take the stand to the corner omggg he is such a big boy now, and he's going to grow up so fast :( :( and the other day i was at ikea, and i saw this kid with the same shoes as him, the yellow stitch crocs, stupid kid, didnt even suit him at all and i missed him so much :( the things kids do to your heart :(

on the other hand, i hate my math lecturer, the first thing she said when she came in was, ohh i taught a-levels math for three years, and your math is reallllllyyyy easy compared to theirs and she gave the look that i hate -____- and after that we were supposed to get this tutorial book, but the guy needed to get the book from the bookshop and she wanted us to finish the questions by monday and obviously how is he going to get the books on thursday itself which was our first class, because obviously not everyone brought enough money and not everyone has class on fridays and it was by the end of class that she told us, and all of us were going separate ways, its not like high school where we all stay in the same class for one whole day kay -______- stupid.

so i asked her nicely if we still had to get the books and finish it and she said try and im like. uhh, how? get the books now? then she said just try to finish it, i took only about 2 hours to finish and i said, but how? we dont have the books. can we just do it on monday since its tutorial anyway. and she gave the dont-give-excuses-you-lazy-student stare LIKE WTHHHHHH. dudeee, its not like we dont want to do it, we CANT do it because we dont have the books. is she stupid or what, how can she not get it. and after that she said, we'll just do in class then, but dont always repeat this, only this time. of course only this time la, we'll have books after this one you noob -___- and we can do it at home, so that we can ask you any questions during tutorial with your fast rate of crappy explanation. and she keeps asking students to go out and solve simple questions which takes up alot of time, if you do it for difficult questions or for some questions, then its okayla, BUT FOR EVERY ONE? OMG I HATE HERRRR.

thank god im only seeing her for four months, stupid but thats damn long already. hopefully i survive her classes, and summore math is a subject which im doomed to be crappy at, omggg la whyyy :( i miss you puan lee :(

dad has work tomorrow, stupid company, wth ask your employees to go work on a saturday. you think people no need family time one is it. go die la stupid company.

sorry im just an angry person today. zZZZz.

have a good weekend! :)

nowhere to run

i had the best assam laksa and it didnt have to cost thirty bucks for a bowl! :) there is this stall at kota damansara, inside a hawker stall, D.U Cafe, which is. the bomb! seriously. i can taste the fish chopped up finely, and the soup is spicy enough even without the cilipadi and its a (Y). im hungry now -____-

the only edible laksas' to me, besides the one from kd, are the ones from this man at pasar malam, he usually sells laksa and also prawn noodles, can easily find him at ss2 on thursdays and sundays at taman megah, whoohoo and all the others are at penang x)

my grandparents always make sure i eat laksa whenever im back. there was once when we were going to a restaurant and my grandma packed laksa to the restaurant because they were having seafood hehh :) pampered to the max, i like! :D yes people who dont appreciate seafood are stupid, i admit and agree im one of them :p but whateverzzzz. spicy food are the best, baba nyonya genes maybe :)

i hate mondays, but mondays are good now because there is fighting spiders! :D soon lee! :) he is a more of a man than any guy i know now. i love the series, although it does give me mixed feelings. because it reminds me of things i dont want to remember anymore.

haha yeah i wish i was more of a man too. i wanna be tougher and evil, like bowler hat guy. i hate it when things of the head messes with the heart. girls usually listen to the heart more than the head and i suppose sometimes we ought to listen to the head sometimes. i wonder how people just let go and forget things that once mattered to them for do they not miss it? and when the heart isnt there anymore, we dont know what to do or how to fix it because we dont know what went wrong. then we become sad, and our hearts feel like it is going to burst. we keep coming to the same spot, and it happens like a cycle. and we hope we can keep moving forward and go away, but we know our hearts always go back to square one.

what are we supposed to do.

bowler hat guy is not a bad guy, he has a kind heart, i would be his friend.

i think sometimes emoing is my forte, besides eating laksa and sleeping :)

and happy birthday seba, you lobster! :) hope all is well for you at the states, my campbell soup partner, and may our prayers of cheap air flight tickets and air asia flying there come true although US will never be in Asia :p US is better than UK forever, and i agree! :) may you be a legendary engineer, come back soon!

hafta good break tomorrow everyone, everyone can sleep in, run errands, go on dates, watch movies, do homeworks, and do anything they like! :D

God bless! :)

spiders

hehh. been watching this singapore series lately because crystal started watching it, FIGHTING SPIDERS! :D soon lee! :) :) :) iz the manz. hahaha.

and God gave me more than what was supposed to be given for my college scholarship, which im really grateful for, eventhough its only for the first year, because to some people, going to college is like. buying clothes. they just go, and they know funds are there. but for some, going to college. is like going to college.

okay cut the buying clothes part, it doesnt make sense.

thank you God, thank you for everything eventhough i dont deserve it, but thank you for your grace :) and thank you lis :')

and time by hans zimmer, i dont know how can it get any betterrrrrr! :) its the bombbbb! i want to play a music instrument :) thats my long term goal hehehe :)

and its going to be okay :)

happy friday! :)

clever

would you ever want to leave,

maybe you could not believe it,

that my love for you is blind,

but i couldnt make you see it,

couldnt make you see it,

that i loved you more than you'll ever know,

when part of me died when i let you go.

for what

i think i went thru so much shit this year that it opened my eyes to how monotonous things were and how safe and protected i was for the past 17 years of my life. hahaha, lucas scott you were so darn right, its when you are really tested you find out who you are, i wanna watch one tree hill season seven damn it :(

standard conversation in the car everyday :)

jerome: jie jie natalie, i know you got one dog right? *grins*

nat: what? what dog? i got no dog also *grins back*

jerome: nooo. you got one dog! i know i know. what is his name?

nat: haaa. what dog , i only got cat laa, rome.

jerome: i know you got one dog right jie jie natalie, his name is bobby right! :D

jerome why you so cute one :)

i honestly dont know why i even gave a shit, because honestly what have you even truly gave a shit about. shit you.

happy friday!

:)

dash

while sometimes you put someone or something as your priority first, and it doesnt quite happen the same for you, you know thats its okay. because kindness in the first place was meant to come from a sincere heart, and so will it be.

lunboks

i like the new nippon paint advert song :p shooo cute! omg nippon paint, nippon paint. hahaha. the white colour thing also shoo cute! got three eyes one. and his smile so bigggg :D

and i just saw the pictures of chelsea and her husband which i forgot the name hehh, and she looks beautiful and absolutely amazing, her dress is gorgeous! :) was in the train and a few people were talking so loudly as if i am deaf like that hahaha, about how not pretty she is and why is he wearing a shawl, LIKE COME ON MAN. it isnt even your wedding, he wants to wear a shawl let him wear la! a happy wedding, and hopefully years of wonderful marriage :)

i think somewhere at a point in your life, you'll come across times where you dont expect things so much anymore, because everytime you do, and when things dont happen the way you thought and expected it to be, it sucks :( so when good things happen, its just like a bonus. but if it doesnt then there wont be much disappointment anyway since you didnt expect it in the first place.
:(

nippon paint, nippon paint.

take my lunboks :)

baa baa black sheep

how come they write improved taste on the dog food packaging.

not like we really know if the taste improve or not, every dog food company also can write improved taste what.

but who cares i bought the one that said improved taste for bobby hahahaha. i love bobby, he's so cute and short and cute. and the thing is, i feel damn safe when he is around, because he would bark at the same postman ever since forever every single day as if the postman is going to kidnapp us. MAYBE HE IS! :X hehhh. quality every guy should have please, make his woman feel safe!

and i miss you. and i wish you were here.

precautions

im going to use finish all the cheque books in the office by the rate of cheque cancellation i am making -___-

its not my fault okay. im trying my best not to wet the cheque, and sometimes i write the wrong figures and the franking machine failed me twice :( thank God for my super patient colleagues yay! :) the guilt and i feel super bad level increases everytime i realise i screwed up when i key in wrong stuff and omg la the figures on the list are huge! i have to calculate like ten times on excel to make sure i dont count wrongly and then i realised ohh right, they already tabulated the overall sum for me -___-

and i nearly called the head department uncle. shyteeee :(

and he never smiles :/ why not :(

its super amazing how people mantain long distance relationships, just the other day liesa and i went all weak in the knees and awwh when we saw one both of our school mates who happened to have been together for four years , and one of them is in a totally different continent all together and yet they are still great and it just left me so awwh for a little while. sometimes when i read books about how people cannot be together because of things like wars or because they have to leave faraway on a job or because of all the circumstances of the world, its just sad :(

im going to make sure i teach my children to say goodbye after the end a conversation on the phone regardless if the other person says it or not.

inception :) ever since titanic, this is the only show i've watched leornado dicaprio in, and it was long and slow people like me had to take time to understand a little bit, and i still dont get it, but it was good :)

things you do for the people you love :)

numbers

i've never smiled so much in my entire life reading a number book.

because i was reading it to a cute cute boy! :)

just the other day i was at borders, and i wanted to read some evil murder revenge book hehhhh because its either sad emotional love books like dear john, WHICH IM SO DISAPPOINTED WITH WHEN I WATCHED THE MOVIE :( broke my heart, i expected so much from it. or magazines that talk about gossips and weddings hahaha. and while i was there, suddenly one cute boy holding a number book stopped at my section because his dad was looking at some books. and he gave me the sweetest smile that my heart could burst :') and he came towards me and open the book and i died.

but i still could read to him and he was so cuteeeee :) he pronounced everything so innocently and cuteeee :) boxes became woxes, fishes became wishes, zebra became webra, ducks became wucks, three became wee and omgg la. i could do it with him the whole day. but THEN TENTENTEN. the parents came :( what la, come for what -__- cannot come later meh :( okay, it was ten so what. why must bookshops close so earlyyy! :(

he smiled and ran away to his parents and came back again and gave me a hug and i nearly cried :(

you're going to grow up to be an awesome beautiful person dexter, and even though i've only known you for less than 15 minutes, you made my day so well :)

in this case, night :)

kidsssss (:

brisk

had the scariest potong dream ever -__-

hahaha, usually like in those movies where the people takao on the roof and then suddenly the good person falls off the roof, nearly, not fall down down and die, like nearly then suddenly one hero will appear out of nowhere and suddenly ngam ngam ho just in time catch the person's hand and TADA, SAFE! :D clap hands, feels happy! :)

and tada, i was in the scenario. but cut off the takao part and all the drama, the dream started with me falling hahaha, super funny :) sorry, not very funny because i was on the verge of dying, and i was too kancheong so i didnt notice who was pulling me, but then i was screaming my lungs off saying OMG PLEASE DONT LET ME GO, I HAVENT FEED BOBBY YET WTH -___- which the truth is, i never feed my dog, BECAUSE my dad wants to feed him all the time, and yes. so anyway, my hands which sweat at the rate of how fast bobby eats when i give him treats which is VERY FAST, and. i slipped! :(

but! as i was falling, i quickly try to safe myself in the midst of screaming like crazy, and before i knew it, i landed on this dinosaur from meet the robinsons WTH . and i didnt die hahahaha. i never die in my dreams hahaha yay! :D gay stupid dream but quite funny hahaha.

and. to in addition to that, i dreamed that there was a musical where they played meet the robinsons songs and hans zimmer's pearl harbour! dream come true to the max yay yay yay! :D

liesa liesa (: hehh. nothing :)

i kinda like eenie meenie hahahaha. catchy song :p

and TOHHUAJIE! omg, hahaha! i just read the school magazine and your biggest fear in 10 years time is that your friends will all get married and they wont have time for you? HAHAHA.

:)

exception

happy friday! :)

karmunnnnnnn. no affairs in singapore kay :( hehehe :/ miss you already.

longest day of my life, but thank you god for making it so much better. a thousand times.

friday is our day, and whenever friday is here, you're the first person i think about.

now. and always.

unconditional

i just want you to be happy :)

and to live the life you want to.

every single day and every moment of your life.

brave and bold

I'm not the most eloquent speaker, so I thought I would borrow a few words from Shakespeare. 'Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.' When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. I look at Nathan and Haley and some how I feel safer. I don't know if I can explain that, but they give me hope. And, I'm afraid say it out loud because maybe if life finds out it'll try to beat it out of them and that will be a shame. Because, we all can use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that everything’s going to be okay and that there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that. So, here's to Nathan and Haley, and here's to hope, and here's to a love that will not alter.

one tree hill, brooke davis.

roads

why is math so difficult. why :(

doomed for life.

kidding! :(

somebody praised me to day! bangga to the max, and the best part is, i got praised for the awesomest thing ever hehe :)

a clasmate asked what primary school i was in last time, and i said taman megah, (TAMAN MEGAH YOU'RE THE BOMB) and he said. ohh you not from chinese school? wahh ni te hua yi hen hao!

TADAAAAA :D

and i cleared my room! okay only the table only :/ but achievement to the max okay! 10000 things on my table. books. bottle. clothes. notes. movie tickets. bags. camera. ipod. money. watch. tissues -__-

by the end of the year, my heart is going to be super strong to the max. really one haha :)

happy friday (:

rufus wainright, you're the man!

this is so unfair.

man

im tired.

really.

mild

i was never fond of math. simply because im not good at it, im careless and i am not logical. everytime during exams, math would be the last book in the pile of nonsense, and i have three clean workbooks except for the globe chapter behind.

and people always tell me the people who will do well in life and kick asses are those who rock at math.

no more

im quite okay until i actually start thinking about it and as much as i can just pretend that it isnt exactly there, i know its there. just dont have the guts.

everytime when it starts to get irrational, i know i cannot afford to be selfish because it just isnt only about me. and because i cannot wait for my pillow to dry in time.

i miss you ang xian hui :( i just watched one tree hill, and i know you know exactly how it feels. although you do like gossip girl also. but the point is i miss you, and i hope your a2 is going to be awesome and awesomest ever!

sound damn les? -___- go die la, i can write anything i like.

so much

i just need to remember to be logical. which isnt exactly my strong point but logical it is. nat, logical, logical, logical, logical, logical.

because being logical is going to put you far far away from what meddles with your heart, your emotions.

its logical for it not to be. logic logic logic.

i found my accounts trials paper which i failed :) liesaaa, remembered how depressed i was failing accounts and how i spent my whole day watching meet the robinsons and listening to broken by lifehouse :) and how after that during physics with ravi which was absolute crap everyone brought in physics reference books and we brought accounts and malay and mod math books to the lab :p

liesaaa! NEXT WEEK. :( :( :( :( omg. my heart is beating so fast, it might just stop :x

you're in my arms,

and all the world is calm

the music playing on for only two,

so close together, and when i'm with you,

so close to feeling alive.

such a nice song, makes me wanna put on a dress and wear nothing on my feet and dance and dance all night :)

i miss one tree hill :/

have a great weekend (:

streets

i wanna eat loklok and laksa :(

im going to kidnap the lorry which all the loklok inside, but i want only the meatballs and quill eggs and meatballs :(

there are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but i've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.

the notebook.

shore

because i just cant die yet.

super suicidal right gg -__-

lets fast forward lis :/

pocket

dreamt i was cursed by an evil evil lady :( and you know how everytime you want to continue your nice dream after you wake up? yeah for once i didnt and i did -____- tell me why la :(

so anyway yes, i've completed the chapter in my life of working before college starts :) and, a part of me feels like mann, i dont really wanna leave, but another part of me tells me that its time for a good break before everything gets thrown to me in the face.

hahaha, yesterday a teacher wasnt feeling well, so mad and me took over this 6 year old class. and i didnt know most of them, so i had to ask one of the boy in the class to show me who is who. then we came across this girl, and he told me. ohhhh, teacher, she is my ex. -______________-

and i thought i heard wrongly, so i asked, she's your wax? what wax? and he said, noo, she's my ex. as in like ex girlfriend. you know? and gave me the dont tell me you dont know what is ex man teacher. ahem. hahaha, wow. what progress we have man really, either im really outdated or they are just really fast hahaha.

and, i was just watching some videos on ice skating at the winter olympics, and woahhh. i've always been fascinated on how these skaters can actually even stand up without falling down. like really. hahaha. and to spin and turn on ice, i cant even do it on ground. yess because im a noobie hahaha. and there was this video where this two people were practicing, and the girl fell down, and the guy gracefully picked her up, so so sweet :')

its been years since i last skate, and its not even skating la really. hahaha. i was just standing at the side, and steph was saying come on nat, come on! just come, nothing one! and i gave her plenty of excuses like, its okay, its too crowded, which at that time got like 20 people only la seriously hahah, and i said ohh wait, im looking at the hot guy skating, which, uhhh, is a small kid of five, that had more guts than me, omg memalukan to the max -__-

she had to drag me, hahaha, and i grabbed on to her so hard we both fell down hahaha :) and remember the weird bump i had on my finger steph? hahaha. before i die right, i would wanna learn how to skate. no need until like super pro, but it would be nice to learn a few steps at least :)

hahaha and definitely before i die, i have to pick up a music instrument. i always thought that the piano was designed for the guys, omg please dont shoot me girls who play piano, im just saying. girls who can play the piano rocks too okayyyy, just as much as the guys :) i have to watch a live orchestra, and not just the ones in youtube, because its amazing how impactful the music can be, and how everything just blends in right.

i cant believe i spent my saturday doing absolutely nothing, congrats nat, congrats! -__- celebrating emeline's and my dad's birthday and mother's day together tonight though :) hahaha super lazy family, cramp everything into one hahaha x) thank God mine isnt near any of my sisters and parents :D

have a great weekend :)

so why dont we go, somewhere only we know

life insurance

i feel alone tonight.

happy friday :)

because, we never look back

gone were the days i could actually stay up till three and watch movies :)

had dinner with sisters, and it was great :) we had mushroom soup, something we three love to eat! :)

hahaha, i just watch this super funny video, about a japanese game show, seriously, japanese people are psycho. like really! they play the craziest game in the world, and they do the craziest thing, like the video i watched, that guy, drank a whole 1.5 liter of water in 5 seconds, LIKE CRAZY! i would post the link up but i closed the safari by accident :/ found it through hann's facebook, so thank you hann! :)

and i came across this wedding site which i saw through su's facebook hahaha, which had lots of pictures of weddings, so so nice! :) i only browsed though one album in their gallery, which happens to be yew juan's sister's wedding and the pictures are beautiful :) and some others, but i closed it down, because i dont know them, and i cannot feel the atmosphere of it hahaha.

super tired! give me a good rest Lord, i dont want to wake up in the middle of the night anymore :(

it's just you and me,

and all other people, and i dont know why,

i cant keep my eyes off for you (:

time for lifehouse :)

jie li (:

because kids will always make your day (:

hahaha today in kindy this boy call bryan, never met anyone as adorable as him, spilled his milk on his shirt :( so he had to change la. and i gave him this orange shirt but he merajuk and dont want to wear the shirt because his original shirt was blue in colour. then i asked him, how bryan? shame shame wor, and point to his tummy. and he said dont want natalie, dont want and cover his face, omg so cuteeeee! :)

thus i had to find another shirt which is blue in colour and thank God i did! and when i wanted to wear it for him he said no again, omg super take advantage! then another teacher came in and said bryan, this shirt natalie buy for you one okay, must wear clever boy! :) damn con kids :D champion man x)

and i thought he would have forgotten all about that shirt, but when his mom came to pick him up, his mum said, eh bryan why you wear your friend's shirt, it's not yours! and bryan said, natalie buy new one for me with the cutest voice tone that i could propose to him right then man.

bryan bryan (:

alligator

handsome boy (:

lis, remember the nathan i always wanted? :)

breadcrumbs

and hansel said to gretel, let us drop these breadcrumbs, so that together we find our way home. because losing our way would be the most cruel of things.

this year, i lost my way. and losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. but losing your reason for the journey, is a fate more cruel.

OMG EMO TO THE MAX LA THIS ONE TREE HILL :( :( :( BOOHOOOOO :'(

but me likey hahaha x)

my stupid braces SUPER ANNOYINGGGGG, KEEP POKING MY GUMS AND CHEEK. got one huge ulcer :( my cheek cells all no more adi :(

wahahhahaha so long never update adi :D then tada! yayy! updating now :D

you know last time right, hahaha i thought the more i served in church the more God would be pleased with me. like maybe if i preached on sunday and if i could lead worship, and if i gave up everything to be a pastor and clean the church and memorize the whole bible, probably God would pay more attention to my prayers and give me better marks in exam :) and tada! nope i didnt do any of those, and everytime i came to church, i felt so unworthy. like, God isnt pleased and he would think of me as no use for any of his awesome plans :(

to me last time, this is how how much God would love his people in the church, from the most to the least.

1) pastors, cos they preach every week!

2) children/ people who are baptized

3) children pastors/ children church leaders

4) people who attend every single prayer conference and church meetings

5) people who can lead worship

6) people who play the instruments

7) people who can memorize everything about solomon and david and jesus

8) people who participate in every performance for easter and christmas

9) people who give alot of money during offering

10) people who drive big cars and stay in big houses, probably God loves them more so He blesses them more

11) people who have all their family members coming to church and not only just them.

12) me (:

and its been just amazing how im growing so much, for the past few months, just really filled with His amazing abundant love and grace, and i've never ever felt so changed. God doesnt mind at all about whether if i couldnt play any instruments, or if i dont exactly know how to preach, or if i dont exactly know who this person called Job is in the bible, okayla i do know who he is, HE'S AWESOME, like seriously, when i read the book of Job, after reading like a quarter of it, i knew if i was him, i would have probably killed myself :(

im not saying that being a pastor is no good, or if you're generous with during offering you suck, or if you stay in a big house and drive big sport cars, you're not cool. knowing the bible IS AWESOME, leading worship IS AWESOME, participating in church events IS AWESOME :D but God doesnt love us based on that, he loves us wayy more than we would ever know, because we are His children, and nothing you can do can make Him love you more or less! we do not earn his love, because he already loves us.

and we would naturally want to lead worship BECAUSE we love Him, we should want to give our offering BECAUSE we love Him, we want to teach little kids about Jesus BECAUSE we love Him.and everytime we think about how much He does, we cannot help but want to love him back.

(: wahaha its raining everyday, the other day right got thunder, then this boy in kindergarten told me, TEACHER GOT FIREWORKS! OMG SO CUTEEEEEE :')

AND AND IP MAN 2 IS OUT :D wahh ip man damn hot please! x) eh PLEASE, DONT TELL ME YOU DONT AGREE ALSO x)

its been four months since i've graduated and i havent cleared my room hahaha x) i just found a integration paper underneath my table, omg MY PRO CHAPTER! yeah right man. i still dont gett the world crappy differentition thing, and i cant believe i wrote on my spm biology paper the umbilical cord is the placenta hahahahaha x) OMG LA WHO DOESNT KNOW WHAT IS AN UMBILICAL CORD!

wahh tommorow is friday, BEST DAY IN THE WORLD, CANT WAITTTTT :D HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! NOT HAPPY MEH!LAST DAY OF WORK, LAST DAY OF COLLEGE, EVERYONE GOES HOME ERALY ON FRIDAY, AND THE WEEKENDS ARE HERE YAY YAY YAY YAYAYAYAYAYYAAYYA! :D i love friday so much that i wrote it for my spm essay, write about the your favourite day of the week, and i knew i was it man! the bomb question EVER!

happy friday everyone! :D yayyyy!

catfish

happy thursday! friday is still the best! :D

anyway, i've been working at peter and jane for at least two months now, and heh, im having fun although im dead tired by the time i get back. some of the kids there are so cute, and although some of them really mencabar your kesabaran, by the time you come back right, and you start to think about some of them, you feel like its worth every damn sweat, hot like shyte please.


the most common question i've come about is, what is that on your teeth -__- hahaha, i dont know how to explain to them, but got this boy super cute, he said cheh, my daddy's a dentist, he got his clinic in bangsar, i see it everyday! like that also dunno meh! hahaha :)


i've also met many kind of parents, some nice, some nonsense -__-


i hope that as long as im working here, i'll be able to shower them with much love bagai menatang minyak yang penuh! kids at this age really deserves alot of love and encouragement, not spoiled of course. some are really spoiled that i feel like killing myself because i cant bare to kill them, NOT LIKE I WILL, IM JUST SAYING.

next timr right when i do have kids of my own. ahem. LIESA DONT GIVE ME THAT STARE. hahaha. i hope to raise them up with unconditional love, like how much God loves me. whether they pass their driving test or not, even if they have to take 100 times, or if they dont do well in school exams, or if they are not exactly the best kids or the cool kinda kids to the eyes of the world, as long as they put in their best for anything they do, and they trust and love God, that is the way i would want them to be raised. to never feel like they are not good enough to do something, or they're too small to dream big.

yeah i failed my driving exam btw!

some parents right, say only as long as they do their children to thier best, everything else is not important, BULLSHIT TO THE MAX, stupid hypocrites. im not saying that parents shouldnt be ambitious, but, come on man! i've seem some parents sending their children who are barely even seven to more classes that i go to for spm -______- NOT ALL OKAY. im not saying all.

omg damn tired -__- now i know how my parents feel when they come back from work, and they work even longer hours than me! helps me to appreciate my parents more and more :)


HAPPY FRIDAY! :D

turns

its funny how sometimes we are so sure of what we say, and at that very moment you feel like what you say is really what ought to happen. or how you never wished for a change, like you would literally die because you THINK you know that you'll never make it.

when at times that you want to stay behind, but everyone moves forward, it sinks into your heart a little bit. but i guess as much as you miss it, you're not gonna feel it for long, because you dont miss what was behind there. because better things are waiting for you ahead.

never get attached to anything that'll probably make you disappointed in the end. be attached to God's love instead! :D

eventhough i thought i would, i dont miss it at all.

i want iced lemon tea :(

five more days!

yayyyy! :D

tommorow is friday! best day ever! :D

things have been tiring but good lately. i havent sat at my study table for ages hahaha. feels weird! but hey im not complaining :) howwwww :( everyone is studying and im left behind bohoooo :( nobody wants to friend me anymore NOOOOOO.kiddings!

haha, last time right, if i greet people with all my enthusiasm and goo HIIIIIIIIII! HOW ARE YOU! :D or when i try to be nice to friends who show less enthusiasm for example:

case 1:
HIIIIIIIII REX! :D *wavessss*
uh hi nat. haha.

case 2:
HIIIIIIIII REX! :D *waves*
HAHAHHAA HI NAT! *she is crazy-___-*

case 3:
HIIIIIIIII REX! :D *waves*
*silence*

no i dont have a friend called rex, but it reminds me of dinosaurs and i wanna get a red dinosaur soon. reminds me of meet the robinsons! :D

initially it was kinda fustrating or rather i felt like what man, here i am keeping your spirits up but all you can say is hi nat. but now, it bothers me less :) i guess somehow everyone has a different level of WHEEEEE :D and thus, i would rather that someone not show their enthusiasm than to plaster a nat-is-here-i-must-smile look.

but that doesnt mean i wont be all :D and *wavesssss* to anyone who doesnt do the same to me, i hope if they are having a bad day, then at least they wont feel so down. which reminds me of my dentist , stupid wear damn long adi laaa my braces, i wanna take it off. 9 out of ten kindergarten kids will ask what is that in your teeth teacher nat, why so funny one.

hehe although sometimes i do admit i dont go all HIIIIIIIIIIIIII! :D :D but i try! feels so much nicer! :D

cant wait to greet the kids tmr and tell them its FRIDAY yayyayyayayayay! :D

happy friday! :)
college ends early, work ends early, super awesome shows on tv, you get to sleep without setting your alarm, WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LIKE RIGHT! :D

i miss everyone! :(