im not eloquent enough

ever heard of what you never know will never hurt you?

but truth does set us free in the end doesnt it?



anyway, i wasnt sure whether i wanted to post this up, because it was rather personal to me, but i felt a gentle tug (THANK YOU LIQI) in my heart, and hopefully this post will make a difference, if you feel that it will then its great!



Moses said to the Lord, :'O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant, I am slow of speech and manner.''
that would be the main reason why im talking about this.


have you ever felt that you needed to say something but you couldnt express it? its very clear what you want to say, its in your head, but the words just stutters and stammers and goes all hard to pronounce when you need to say it. its not those of like you want to tell someone but you dare not say it, its more of even everyday conversations.

weird huh?

but thats what i have been through for as long as i remembered.


i dont speak very well, and neither do i express something properly at times. i remembered at one time when i was in standard five, my science teacher scolded me and told me to speak properly with those kinda harsh tone that'll probably scar your heart for the rest of your life.



but its not that i dont want to speak fluently or that im afraid, its just somehting that you have to experince for yourself. people have told me that its all about mentailty and how you control your voice and speech, but you will never understand what im going through and how sometimes it fustrates you and brings you down because of this.



but thankfully i do have great friends that knows what im going thru. not all i have to admit.


so my point is back to this, i read this really good book about how God places dreams in our hearts. and i saw that verse.



suddenly i felt maybe im not in that bad of a situation after all.

because if God believed in Moses and He asked Moses to bring His people out of Egypt into the prmouse land, i cannot help but to know theres indeed nothing God can never do for anyone of us,despite our weaknesses and our failures.



if someone asked me to speak in front of the Pharoah, i would probably seriously rather die.


and yet, Aaron (Moses's brother) and Moses together with God, led the Isrealites out of Egypt, which is really really amazing.


my faith was little, but seeing what God can do, and how He has big dreams and plans for us, i have no doubts that He cannot do the same for me as how He did for Moses.


God's been really faithful, I debated and attended MUN conferences, with other relaly great speakers like melanie and yy, and somehow when i need words to flow out, God never fails to help me do it and i speak well.


so if there evern come a point in your life when you feel inadequate or you feel like you're not good enough, really just give out your best.if you feel like you're not as a good leader as the pther person and you got appointed, or you feel like you're not as awesome as the guy we didnt get selected to the math quiz but you got selected, go out there, and shine!



never let your inabilties stop you from what you dream of doing, and i remembered someone telling me once that if you say you're not good enough, you're indirectly insulting God. because God made each one of us, and we're saying that He didnt made us right, or maybe He messed us up thats why we are not as good as the others.

God is super duper awesome and also very clever, and He never makes mistakes.

:)



haha. spm is. wow. in the middle of the day, suddenly i just get this sudden scare from nowhere about spm.

trains my heart to be strong and takes shocks that come about an hour each once. i must focus!


have a great week everyone! :D

i cant be this unsturdy

:( so fast holidays over adi.


just felt like it was the start of holidays not so long ago.

but i guess time does fly when we're having fun huh:/


grandparents going back soon :( but i really had a great week spending awesome time with them. family time is just. important to me :)

sometimes i think that no matter what people say, or how they make you feel like you're a loser for holding on to what you believe on your principals, we ought to really stick to it, and stick hard to it.


tireddd. stupid physics class tmr :/

i didnt even study this whole week. guilty to the max.

help me soar like the eagle Lord.

sucks to the max

no, literally sucks to the max. run away to africa. dont ask me why is it africa all the time. i wanna go meet alex the lion and make him my best friend.

when emo what do you do! watch meet the robinsons and de-emo.

today is emo (EMO COLOUR) post. because its an emo day. its hols now. and yesyes, i know i did promise myself i gotta catch up and brush up on my subjects which are crappy. like ACCOUNTS GRRRRR. and physics. and chemm. and ADD MATH. and maths. and sejarah. and bk. you know what actually everything la okayy -.-



but im a man with no discipline. man sounds cooler, but actually its awesome person. but its quite stupid if i write awesome person with no discipline -.-



so anyway. my mum is like. natt go study. please dont play already. natt go study. im gonna cryyy. so everytime im about to come in contact with her at home, i'll run away. not run away from home -.- but like avoid. damn mean right i know. BUT I CANNOT TAHAN LAHHHHH. im gonna dieeeeeee. its like hols but not exactly hols. its pretend hols. make you happy abit.


my grandparents are here so yayy! :) had dinner together, until i had to go physics tuition -.- OMG -.- that reminds me tmr need to go school for extra physics class. why? dunno -.-



tsktsk. i dont think i have ever felt guilty enjoying myself. everytime i play restaurant city, i'll feel like. omg la nat, why are you wasting your time, EHH BUT ITS DAMN NICE PLEASE. which reminds me, that game cannot loadddddd. either my connection sucks or im too cool for the game. my restaurant die adi la :/


and i gotta finish one million add math tuition paper -.- not one million, maybe about one thousand. okay fine three. but its mara paper and its hard stuff. and finish physics tuiton work. and start imbanging my accounts.


tell me emo day or not :( i go emo with my dog now. my dog also emo everyday. maybe his girlfriend never come visit him adi.



BUT YOU KNOW WHATTTT! i can do all things through Him who strengthens me! :) philippians 4:13. God's amazing la seriously. help me Lord! help me to organize my time right while having fun and be awesome and cool and be super duper smart. hahaha. i believe God's super duper clever, and He wouldnt mess up timetables and schedules, grant me the wisdom too Lord! :)


im actually quite awesome at the wii and the base in rockband :D hahaha. RIGHT YEW JUANNN! :D

and im gonna visit a close cousin who just gave birth, soon! :) sorry liesaaaaaa about the outing :(

i love ganglions and myelin sheaths. they are my best friends.
guess who said that HAHAHAHAHA. sorry ting-a-ling! lollll.

i just find it really amusing. if i can love bio as much as you do. actaully i like bio too okay, just thast not as much as you only, -.-


have a great week! :)

dg outing!

:D shing says hiii!

yes we're having our caleb chilling time now :) just spending some quality time together, caleb is the best dg ever! :)

playing mafia now, i was the mafia and i won! hehehe. thank you erik, you're the bomb la seriously. 

and shing kinda decided to be the game master since she got killed the first two times lol. its okay shing, youre the best!

and sorry for killing you. you're still my best friend :)

hahaha. permitting for a permenant residence at the see's. living with a wii and rockband is well. awesome!

reverse reverse physcology -.- haha i have the awesomest buddies ever hahaha.

sleeping over with shing. seriously we can get married. our lawyers earn super alot of money. divorce divorce marry marry. cos so many affairs going around! hmmph.

hahaha, have a great week aight! 

God is super duper awesome with amazing plans meant for us.

love is like that

YAYYYYYYYYY EXAMS ARE OVERRRRR! :D
could never have done it without God! :)

wahh the english passage about the butterfly made me sad :/ i cannot read any stories that are sad or watch any movies that are sad, thats why i rather not watch sad movies in the cinema cos i know i sure cry like shyte, cinemas are for shows like gamer where there is no way i can cry, though it was quite sad abit la okay. if i watch meet the robinsons in the cinema right, cry till the whole cinema collapse.


hehe, i think hans zimmer songs kept me at ease whenever i felt stressed out, and i just thought iof you-tubing it today, because the best songs that he composed for pearl harbour are the ones i like best :)


trust me, you'll like his soundtracks if you are a fan of orchesteral violin and piano kinda music, then its awesomeeee :D
and omg super super sad, because pearl harbour is truly one of the saddest, most touching, and one of the shows i cried most until i have no mood to do anything else :/


and some of the quotes from the movie made me :'(


rafe: you are so beautiful it hurts.
evelyn: it's your nose that hurts.
rafe: i think it's my heart.

rafe:danny, you can't die. you can't die. you know why? 'cause you're gonna be a father. you're gonna be a daddy. i wasn't supposed to tell you. you're gonna be a father.
danny:no, you are. :'( :'(

evelyn: rafe i'm pregnant... ididn't even know until the day you turned up alive... and then all this happened... i haven't told danny... i don't want him to know. all he needs to think about is how to do this mission and get back alive. oh rafe, all i ever wanted was for us to have a home and grow old together, but life never asked me what i wanted. now i'm going to give danny my whole heart... but i don't think i'll ever look at another sunset without thinking of you... i'll love you my whole life.

tsktsk. saddddddd.

okayy fine, pearl harbour isnt exactly about all the stuff in the history book, but i still like it :)

im not ever gonna let any of my friends go war;(

omg its 145, time to sleep, without setting my alarm clock! :D

two more!

maths tmrrrr! must convert my degree to radian remember, remember! :)
if i do wrong again right. speechless.

anyway, i've just been looking thru my emails, clearing some of them. super alot if junk.
and, the most awesomestest( yeah thats my term), most encouraging emails comes from both su and yew juan, and tan juan!

no tan juan and yew juan are both not related. hahaha.

amazing, awesome, and genuine.

read also can cry one :/ hahaha.

sighhh, thank you God, although you dont send me emails,you certainly blessed me with amazing friends sending me amazing emails!

small kid

it will just never be the same.

eventually will not come :( :(

uhh no, i didnt break up with anyone liesa, because in the first place, im not with anyone unless YOUUU simply imagine. hahahahahaha. so dont come up to me tmr and say OMG NAT WHICH GUY BULLY YOU! hahaha. okayla kidding, i shall not bully you today.

just today, you cannot read this. hahaha! :D

ON THE OTHER HAND HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIESA OMGOFDJDKJKFJKG YOU'RE SEVENTEEN! :D i cannot believe this man, you are still a small kid to me hehehe. i said what i have to say in the card hahah, thus, i'll just make it short here! :D

i think this is the julung kali (my bm rocks to the max) im crying because someone turns seventeen :/ EH SAD LAHH OKAYY :( i mean happy :D

my love for you is blind. AHH YES LIESA, YESYES. hahahaha.

im the best friend who cant be moved. copyrighted my ass -.-

and and ONE TREE HILLLLLLLL! we grew up with it didnt we, season seven premier! :D meant to be la seriously.

you have no idea how much you mean to be lis, you're a rally great great amazing buddy, and i can never ask for more. *cue to cry*

midsumer's murder MWAHAHAHA.

and happy birthday kimberlyyyyy! :D hehehe, omgggg, please please come for the stayover, we cna hang out and have funnnnnn! :D God bless you one thousand hundred million times! :D and more of course!

HAPPY MONDAY! :D AND HAPPY SEASON SEVEN ONE TREE HILL AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTEST BUDDY EVER! :D

sundays

because sometimes doing the right thing takes more than courage and peserverance.

but amazing things happen in the end eh? :)

now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. hebrews 11 verse 1

i cant keep up, i cant back down

i've been losing so much time.

i need you liesaaaaaaaaa. hahaha. stop giving me that look please.

have a great week! :)

they're playing my song

i think this happen to be the most worned out period of my life :( exams everydayyyy :/ and the worst part is that, im not actually studying because i wanna study, but its just to survive the exam :/ which is not the way oviously -.- just cramp in everything :/ and at the end of the day, im not learning anything :( emoooooo. hahahaha. noo im seriosuly emo :( hahahah.


to survive so long is a miracle! for someone who sleeps like a pig everyday, and slack like crap, God certainly grant me strengh to pull this through. if it isnt for Him, i'll probably be balding now. but my hair is kinda thick so its okay. but i dont wanna be bald also la obviously -.-


omg liesaaa! HAHAHAHHAHA. the sight we saw today. stupid girl, seriously simply take sides only hahahaha. i wanna watch midsummer's murder too!


i just saw su and jemmi at dome's in ikano! :) haha was having lunch with my dad. su brings jemmi out every friday because its their date day. OMG LA WHY I DONT HAVE AUNTIES THAT BRING ME OUT ON FRIDAY ALSOOOOOOOOO. merajuk to the max >(



okay partly because all of them dont stay in pj. hahaha. BUT STILLLLLLL :( okay i'll just have to make sure i do bring my nieces and nephews out next time and be the best aunty in the world MWHAHHAAHA. omg cant imgine my sisters getting married. crazy day -.-



and i watched gamer! gerard bulter was okay la. not too bad. ahem ARE YOU KIDDING ME HE ROCKS TO THE MAXXXXXXXXXX! though i didnt quite like the first part because too much shooting. i mean i like shooting and all the KaBoMOmOOomom stuff but there was too much. but i enjoyed the movie because mainly i was damn stressed out harhar.


and i just made the worst mistake of my life. not worst but to emphasize on how bad it is. maths paper today they asked us to caluclate the perimeter of the circle right. and also the area. its two pi radius and pi radius squared for the circumference and the area, but i used the add maths formula AND I FORGOT TO CONVERT IT TO RADIAN OMNHFSJKFHDJKFHDJKHDJKG. SO I GOT THE PERIMETER AS 16904 CM WTHECKKKKKK. keep bleeding i keep keep bleeding. in this case not love but maths -.- i felt like someone just stabbed me into the heart and murdered all my veins. and arteries. :( :( :(



damn emo now :( after lunch the first thing i did was buy a freaking maths model paper book. i used to buy books with the nice cover, YALAR i know dont judge the book by its cover, literally, but that was LAST TIME LAAAAA. the whole time during lunch all i thought about was getting a maths book and FINISH IT. yeah and i got it so im happy yayyyyyy. and i also got my correction tape refill yayyyyy. what a reason to be happy -.-



everyday whenever i study and i see my dog sleeping i'll ask him. bobby, you wanna study chemistry? and he'll just ignore me and sleep again, stupid dog. do it on purpose one seriously. hehh. im just finding every reason to let my anger go off.


my ipod understands me. the other day i forgot what in the world i was emo about and i shuffled the songs in the ipod, and all the emo songs played simultaneousy -.- hahaha. and noo genius wasnt turned on.


spm lahhh shyteeeee. scaredddd. i dont think im prepared at all. HOW TELL ME HOWWWWWWWWWWW. yeah study i know :/



friday is rest day :D and then weekends only panic and stress like shit hahaha.

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this
lifehouse-somewhere in between


damn emo la that song -.-
have a great weekend! :D

in this burning sand

phewww, stressful week! it was holidays the week before this, and yeahh, sleeping clock screwed up. hahah. tireddddd.


accounts today was. omg i dont even know how to start. add math tuition yesterday was a freaking disaster. we were doing paper two questions and i realise that. i suck till the max for add maths. shyteeeee. eff trigo seriosuly. effing proving question.

and i injured my right toe :/ in between my first toe and second toe -.- my skin came off. hurts like shit, and noo im not a spolied kid who complains about all the small cuts and skin coming off, it hurts shyte. how am i gonna go NS tell me. if i complain to my dad, he'll probably just laugh and say, its okay one la.


of course its okay la, not your leg also.


haha i love you dad.


and my mum will go, omg nat, how are you gonna go NS! -.-


my awesome dog that bit my finger. dont judge a dog by his looks. looks damn cute but. in real life. damn ass. only comes to me when he needs food -.-



listening to fall for anything by the script! one of the best bands ever.

come on now add math, we can screw this up like how we did for the past one and the half years.