im not eloquent enough

ever heard of what you never know will never hurt you?

but truth does set us free in the end doesnt it?



anyway, i wasnt sure whether i wanted to post this up, because it was rather personal to me, but i felt a gentle tug (THANK YOU LIQI) in my heart, and hopefully this post will make a difference, if you feel that it will then its great!



Moses said to the Lord, :'O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant, I am slow of speech and manner.''
that would be the main reason why im talking about this.


have you ever felt that you needed to say something but you couldnt express it? its very clear what you want to say, its in your head, but the words just stutters and stammers and goes all hard to pronounce when you need to say it. its not those of like you want to tell someone but you dare not say it, its more of even everyday conversations.

weird huh?

but thats what i have been through for as long as i remembered.


i dont speak very well, and neither do i express something properly at times. i remembered at one time when i was in standard five, my science teacher scolded me and told me to speak properly with those kinda harsh tone that'll probably scar your heart for the rest of your life.



but its not that i dont want to speak fluently or that im afraid, its just somehting that you have to experince for yourself. people have told me that its all about mentailty and how you control your voice and speech, but you will never understand what im going through and how sometimes it fustrates you and brings you down because of this.



but thankfully i do have great friends that knows what im going thru. not all i have to admit.


so my point is back to this, i read this really good book about how God places dreams in our hearts. and i saw that verse.



suddenly i felt maybe im not in that bad of a situation after all.

because if God believed in Moses and He asked Moses to bring His people out of Egypt into the prmouse land, i cannot help but to know theres indeed nothing God can never do for anyone of us,despite our weaknesses and our failures.



if someone asked me to speak in front of the Pharoah, i would probably seriously rather die.


and yet, Aaron (Moses's brother) and Moses together with God, led the Isrealites out of Egypt, which is really really amazing.


my faith was little, but seeing what God can do, and how He has big dreams and plans for us, i have no doubts that He cannot do the same for me as how He did for Moses.


God's been really faithful, I debated and attended MUN conferences, with other relaly great speakers like melanie and yy, and somehow when i need words to flow out, God never fails to help me do it and i speak well.


so if there evern come a point in your life when you feel inadequate or you feel like you're not good enough, really just give out your best.if you feel like you're not as a good leader as the pther person and you got appointed, or you feel like you're not as awesome as the guy we didnt get selected to the math quiz but you got selected, go out there, and shine!



never let your inabilties stop you from what you dream of doing, and i remembered someone telling me once that if you say you're not good enough, you're indirectly insulting God. because God made each one of us, and we're saying that He didnt made us right, or maybe He messed us up thats why we are not as good as the others.

God is super duper awesome and also very clever, and He never makes mistakes.

:)



haha. spm is. wow. in the middle of the day, suddenly i just get this sudden scare from nowhere about spm.

trains my heart to be strong and takes shocks that come about an hour each once. i must focus!


have a great week everyone! :D

alligator

best weather to sleep! :)

my sisters were playing some penguin diner's game the other day and now im so addicted to it though it's nonsensical, yes liesa, you can stop giving me the omg what the heck is wrong with you face. ahem hahahaha.

and and i was pretty happy because FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2974387483738947390 YEARS I BALANCED MY IMBANGAN DUGAAAAAAAAA HARHARHARHARHAR. without anyone's help YAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYA! except for God's of course! and also yy's! :)

next friday is accounts trials AHHHHHH.

but my tuition teacher helped with the documents though, so not really counted :/

liesa reacted to that fact as if i made it into london school of economics or something hahahaha. to qualify for LSE you need to probably imbang 89385493578934085 accounts. and do other hard accounting stuff too.

and i found out that someone's been having affair.

MY DOGGGGG!

seriously the other night i was downstairs at about 12 something, and i saw my dog at the gate outside but inside the house of course and there was another dog outside the gate and he was looking at her and i dont know, taking to each other? -.-

it cant be really counted as an affair though because he's not married first of all. but awwh so cuteeeee. harharhar.

lets be awesome buddies alright, dearest accounts<333

you've been pretty tough to handle, but, we shall restart and grow together!

it took me all the energy in the world to typed that out -.-

i must focus during the holidays, i must focus during the holidays, i must focus during the holidays.

HAVE AN AMAZING WEEKEND FILLED WITH AWESOMENESS!

some you give away

wahh. i dreamed i got into harvard law school.

like dude. i barely survived spm!

i seriously thought of burning the school down today. i just cant bear to think that i have to go through everything again when school starts. i know im gonna so regret for saying this when i reach college next time. but i'll regret later. for now. damn you school. damn you.

hahah, thanks nick, you scared the shyte out of me about a-levels. study hard :)

i want mushroom soup :/

OKAY FINE FINE. i sound like some immature spoiled brat taking education for granted. but its spoiled brat's day! so yeah cool!

dont tell me you fell for that ._.

you know, say what you will about the ravages of sports in this corporate age where overpaid athletes expect prima donna treatment, but there's still something so unifying about sporting in its purest form, when atheletes rise above themeselves and touch greatness, and in doing so remind us that we all have greatness inside of us.

marvin mcfadden

mwahahaha

mwahahaha. watched antara malaikat dan jin with my dad today.

ehh thats what they translated in the subtitle la seriously ._.



it was not bad at all! pretty interesting, alot of stuff and complications in the movie, and enjoyed it overall :)



EXCEPT. there is this STuPiD guy with his girlfriend in the cinema. me and my dad came in quite late, but it was only commercial, havent started yet. so it was quite dark right. but i managed to find the seat, thank youu *applause* okayy so right, i realised the guy is sitting on my seat. but i thought like maybe he made a mistake or whatever la.



then he got up, and went to the other seat beside his gf, and SAID PURPOSELY AND LOUDLY

these people so kiasu.



OMG WTHECKDJFHSJKDHFSJIHFIESFYHSDJKCFNHSDKFJKLSZJ

HELLO! oi, you SIITING ON MY PLACE RIGHT, and i WASNT EVEN PISSED OFF OR ANYTHING, and im kiasu?!!!!!
and i was intending to ask him nicely!


wahh then everyone ma damn kiasu lahh. cos they all buy tickets and sit at their CORRECT places what==''

but after a while, i wasnt angry anymore lahh. cos, i mean, it'll just spoil my movie and cannot simply get angry with people also la right. and when you're not angry, you'll feel happier! :)

i havent started my accounts yet. and thinking of add math project makes me wanna cry. seriously spoil my holiday lahh :/ :/ :/

wahh super tired :/
like super super tired.