so broken, it hurts

It really really breaks my heart seeing children and the elderly sick or being infected by diseases because I really cannot imagine the pain they have to go through, especially since their pain tolerance is not that high either. There are just too many cases out there, but everytime I hear a new news, my heart aches just the same, regardless how it has become a norm. I cannot imagine the kind of agony their parents and family have to go through, I feel their pain and it's not even me, myself going through it. I was about to sign up to be a volunteer to visit unwell children at hospitals every week, just reading them stories, playing with them, spend time with them, love them but when I looked at the form, I just couldnt do it. I cannot bear having to see them face to face because I think I will actually break down and die. We had a visitation to an orphanage once, just a few of our friends to a home at Brickfields, and I couldnt even take it. It was fine all the way until when we were about to leave, my heart broke. Sometimes I wished I wasnt such a chicken and a little bit more rational but I just couldnt. super sad :(((

I hope you get better soon baby, eventhough I have never met you in person and I pray that you only get better and better everyday because Jesus loves you and a beautiful baby like you will get your healing and life back, Jesus paid the full price for your sickness, and good healthy prosperous life belongs to you everyday of your life.

Amen!

smartness

so much work actually so sleep deprived in need of a breakkkkkkk :(

how fast time passes is scaring the shit out of me how can this be happening please let me have enough time to do whatever I need 48 HOURS A DAY PLEASE :(((((

oh so so so clever :)

happy birthday baby

happy birthday baby, we love you so so much! you have brought so much joy to us, and life is certainly better with you around. you are the best dog anyone could have, your love is never changing and our love to you is always the same everyday. many more handsome years to go bobby! thank you for being the one constant thing we can always count for everyday. especially for me :)

loved everyday.

worst

worst news I have gotten this year, supposed to be so painful and so heartbreaking.

but I am surprisingly super proud of myself because I dont feel hurt at all :)

ahhh, just get better already. 

old toys to the less fortunate

what a funny day I had today! was just looking through my Corporate Finance lecture slides, about ten minutes ago, and supposedly SUPPOSED to be reading it through right now, but I have a higher calling waiting for me. INTERNET SPEED SO FAST TODAY WTF NEED TO WATCH MY BIG BANG THEORY. and also the rain is not helping, so comfyyyyy walao just wanna sit on my bed and drink something hot, but I have a huge ulcer now and its going to pop anytime so annoying and so painfullll. 

but anyway about my slides. I was looking through it and I wasnt sure if I wanted to laugh, cry, or just go to bed instantly. I believe I saw words like, mean variance analysis, and COVARIANCE WTHHHHH. omg stats why you haunt me forever :( and so I have to dig out all my stats notes, and I also took a brief (very brief) look at my text book coverage on this COS ITS DAMN FREAKING THICK, approximately 100 pages lololol. And so I thought, oh well its ok. just need to memorize the formula and apply in to the past year questions but my lecturer made a note saying this; It is very crucial to remember every single formula, the graphs, THE DERIVATIONS (WTS) as this will be the FUNDAMENTALS to the harder ones coming up, this is ONLY THE BEGINNING. lolololol! and so here I am, waiting for my BBT to load, self motivation down the drain :(

hahaha, im not stressed lol (YET), I actually find it quite funny although I want to cry at the same time but this is just so funny. only the beginning. then my lecturer laughed. I think she must have thought, oh good luck to all of you hahaha. 

and I am so happy for you Ash! I hope this is a new beginning to greater roads ahead, and I have never doubted your capabilities once, you are one of the smartest people I know. I know everything is going to work out so well for you, and I am so very happy, although I cant see you in class everyday now, but you of all people deserve this great joy and opportunity. 

really need to get back to my slides after this lol. 

''Give your used old toys to the less fortunate, they need it more than you do.''
well, of course :)

Cheers to the weekend! 

not now

:((((((((((((((((((((((((((

How can so many things flood into your life at once in a single moment?!!!! So many things to do and all so difficult :( I dont know how to survive like this till June's exams :( Sometimes just want to curl up forever in my bed and not bother about anything :(

Aih. I only need one thing in life. Jesus.

and maybe a Chatime.